Minnesota

Providers asking for my real name
moanmaker 107 Reviews 3206 reads
posted
1 / 26

I've been seeing providers for quite awhile.  

I have plenty of references and that’s usually enough to get through the verification process.

However the last year or so I've ran into several that wanted my real name. I've always been hesitant to do so.

Am I being too paranoid? Whats everyones thoughts on this.

joebush123 25 Reviews 98 reads
posted
2 / 26

For me that’s a no. Personally I think it’s hypocritical that they want your real name and won’t give you theirs. I understand their need for safety, but who looks out for you? This hobby could turn a guys life upside down if his real info got out there. I’m not afraid to be outed, it’s more the hypocritical ness of wanting that information but not willing to provide it yourself? For me there has to be collateral information, if you want to know my info I’ll provide it in exchange for yours.  Not acceptable? Cool have a nice day, I’ll go give my money to the next willing provider and bust a nut with her.

Plenty of providers out there. Only provide what YOU are comfortable with. You owe these providers nothing outside of the Benjamins for the session. If 2-4 different providers okays does not meet your need for safety, I fail to see how personal information can make you feel safe?

Tgball 178 Reviews 116 reads
posted
3 / 26

I will never give out my real name. One provider saw my real name on my phone and a couple weeks later one of her co-workers lol asked me some personal questions already knowing the answers. I have had personal relationships with three providers (dating) but I got to know them very well and knew their names too. Those relationships are done and I only worry about one causing problems for me but not the other two. All three have dependency issues but the one could be vindictive.  So be very careful with your personal information.

moanmaker 107 Reviews 36 reads
posted
4 / 26

Only the obvious.
I have no problem with them asking and I get it although it seems odd the references can't clear up the concerns. But then again I'm not in their shoes and am not privy to the circumstances that causes them to ask.  

For me its hard to get comfortable with it. But thats me. I was mainly curious to get feedback from the other guys as to where they were at on this. In case I was being to paranoid.

OmegaZap 7 Reviews 100 reads
posted
5 / 26

In over 20 years now I don’t think I’ve been asked for my full name, existing references and white listings have been sufficient.  Here would be my advice:

It depends on your life situation.

Things happen, information leaks, people get busted...  There’s been at least 3 times over those 20 years (just the times I am aware of) where I my contact information was compromised one way or another on the provider side.  The reason I say it depends on your life situation is that your name in someone’s “little black book” is not in itself incriminating, and will likely have no legal consequence to you.  No way to charge someone for just being on someone’s list.  But...  Some jurisdictions, for instance St. Paul PD, have for a long time not sought to charge hobbyists but rather shame them by outing them publicly.  So the real risk is that a vigilante vice cop, knowing he can’t touch though legally, instead just makes sure your spouse knows you had been seeing someone.  These kinds of games happen more often than you think and something similar happened to me many years ago.  Anyway...  If you don’t have a spouse, the already small risk goes down even further.  Having a really common name but using an anonymous email and burner phone, reduces your risk as well.

randy800m 32 Reviews 111 reads
posted
6 / 26

One girl I wanted to see asked for my drivers license, work ID, work email and a selfie. I decided to look elsewhere.

lester_prairie 12 Reviews 94 reads
posted
8 / 26

If the provider is well known, been around and reviewed for a while, I am more apt to give my name.  I tend to mostly book through p411, so those providers risk losing p411 should they do anything untoward with my private info.  

vorlon 119 Reviews 120 reads
posted
9 / 26

I'm sure most providers would not use that information against you but most is not all and all it takes is one to really screw your life up.

cookieman10 3 Reviews 107 reads
posted
10 / 26

I put myself in the camp of never providing my real name. Occasionally that means I need to use the big head and walk away from a desirable liaison. Usually when requested, I try negotiating (my standing with local providers and on p411 is solid), but that has only worked once in my experience. As others have said, it's not for me to question their rules on that anymore than I might about a CBJ, and there are plenty of options to keep me happy.

BigBoyPants 5 Reviews 85 reads
posted
11 / 26

I have been doing this for a few decades and I have only ever provided personal information once.

That was to Gina back in the day to get P411 Approval, I never did it before, and haven't done it since.

I could not have more respect for the legitimate ladies trying to protect themselves, but I do have a problem when they refuse to understand my need to protect myself.

And to be clear, I am not married, don't have a SO, and don't hide this from anyone. Some family members and most of my friends know what I do, and many are envious.  But I will stand on principle.

You show me yours, I'll show you mine.

sweetromantic 157 Reviews 84 reads
posted
12 / 26

There are quite a few very expensive ladies in other big cities that ask for a hell of a lot of info and they travel alot and are pretty prevalent on twitter. I have never noticed any of these ladies ever coming here and i don't think they would do well but I have seen it quite a bit where they want names, photo ids, work info, and all that or no date.

funtobewithmetoo 31 Reviews 123 reads
posted
13 / 26

I agree with many of the sentiments expressed above.  It's hypocritical for them to ask for ours but not provide theirs.
Just move on to another.  There are many good ones available.
One day in Nov. I reached out to someone I had not seen before, had a date, time, and length of visit set, then she asked for something with my name and picture.  I declined and named 3 references and said I had more if needed.  I also briefly described myself.  After a couple hours of no response, I inquired if she was still interested.  Then she asked for a work badge or ID and said she wanted to know who she is meeting.  I said I couldn't do that and offered to meet her first in a public place.  No response.  I suggested that my references were safer; end of communication.
The best part is that I reached out to another provider who is one of the best I have encountered recently and have repeated with her.  Moral is: move on.  The grass may be greener on the other side of the fence.

moanmaker 107 Reviews 93 reads
posted
14 / 26

I do appreciate all the feedback on this and it pretty much confirms what I've always felt.

There is a woman traveling here next week that I really wanted to see but I think I'll think with the big head this time.  And in this little part of my world....thats not always the easy choice!

QueenBia See my TER Reviews 76 reads
posted
15 / 26

How would you, like to be treated in the event that caca happens. Worst case scenario. Have you ever thought about it?

Example: You die of a heart attack in a providers incall & she has no real life information. What will happen to you? John Doe

Could you even begin to imagine... What happens to the provider?  Do you have a plan? Having real life information helps everyone. If your seeing a provider who does not even know your real name wtf, do you expect? I care about my safety.

moanmaker 107 Reviews 92 reads
posted
16 / 26

Do you give your real name to your clients?

What if you passed on during a session? Wouldnt the same sticky situation arrive for the customer?

I really don't have a problem with your asking if thats what makes you comfortable. I'm sure many don't have an issue with giving it and thats cool with me.

For me I'll do my best to keep my real info private and if I die as a result of sex with a provider at least I'll die smiling!

I do appreciate your feedback on here though as it helps us all see other points of view.

holyCRA@#P 107 reads
posted
17 / 26

There are plenty of providers you can without a reference that will then turn around and give you a good reference to use for future verification.  A couple of good provider references should be enough for the gal you want to see to ensure her safety. If she wants your actual identity then move on. This can only hurt you and potentially in a huge way.

DonDosEquis 13 Reviews 79 reads
posted
18 / 26

That's a really weak argument, imo.  If I am dead her having my real life info does me no good at all.  I am dead and literally could not care less (or at all, actually).   Also not worried about becoming a John Doe, as I would be dead and would not care.   Realistically, I will be identified at some point, as missing persons reports will be filed and my identity will be discovered.  

DonDosEquis 13 Reviews 45 reads
posted
19 / 26

I understand that you feel vulnerable, but you are not alone. I wish I could fix that, but I can't.  But the guy is vulnerable, too, especially if we have to divulge our real life details.  That is why so many of us refuse to provide it.  I suppose in many ways we are much bigger chickens than the ladies.

-- Modified on 2/25/2021 6:44:33 PM

knotsaway 38 Reviews 62 reads
posted
20 / 26

I’ve heard about, even known a few, so-called “reputable” providers who turned out to be not quite as reputable as one might have hoped. 😞

I have no problem giving my real identity to providers I know well enough through personal interaction over time such that I know I can trust them. And such that they know they can trust me with their real identities.  In the few cases where I’ve shared my real identity with a provider, it was mutual. Which IMO reduces the risk for both parties.  As I once told one of the providers with whom I shared identities:  “We’ll always be friends. We know too much.”  😏

joebush123 25 Reviews 40 reads
posted
21 / 26

My question is, what about real life info makes you feel safer? What does that provide to you that four reputable providers saying you are safe does not? To me, the only reason I can possible think of is leverage. You want leverage when things don’t go your way, but yet refuse to provide that same leverage to your client. That by definition is not equal treatment.  

You say masculine man don’t question your method. I say those are actually the opposite, those are weak minded individuals that don’t believe in equality. Equal means just that, 1=1 not 1=1+1.  

My questions are all rhetorical.

-- Modified on 2/25/2021 10:38:34 PM

vorlon 119 Reviews 29 reads
posted
22 / 26

I've seen plenty of reputable providers over the past nearly 20 years without giving them my name without any hint of malevolent intent on my part.  Provider references and a reputation for good behavior was good enough.  As far as the paranoia goes, the simple fact of the matter is that some providers have used client's personal information against clients.  And some of these providers were thought to be quite reputable.  Once that personal information is given out, we don't know where it might end up.  I understand providers are looking out for their own safety but please don't act like clients don't have concerns for their own well being.

vorlon 119 Reviews 114 reads
posted
23 / 26
SageX6 5 Reviews 99 reads
posted
24 / 26

Once again, without apologies, and totally unfiltered, the Rocket launches another unfiltered commentary....
And if you apply common sense and look at it objectively, is totally correct. Many fine providers accept references, and none of the past Providers I’ve had the pleasure of seeing would I ever consider “bargain bin” but rather first class.

joebush123 25 Reviews 35 reads
posted
25 / 26

A) I can literally remember a number of threads on the general boards where a client was outed by what you referred to as reputable providers years ago. I also have seen it on Twitter. Your reputation means nothing. You think guys book you because of your reputation?  They book you because they read the latest reviews and want that awesome dick sucking skills that you do (although in your case your recent reviews have not been that stellar).  

 
B) For those guys that have a wife, kids, a career or maybe in the public eye, you think they should throw caution into the wind? Their life is not as important as yours? What is overly paranoid? I see that as a guy being smart, and covering his six because we all know you are not. Why is his concern for safety being called paranoid and for you it’s “but I’m a vulnerable women and I need to protect myself.” This is such a hypocrite mindset it makes me question your intelligence if you cannot see that.  

 
C) Sure I’ll give you this one. If I was planning to rob a bank, the last thing I want to do is go in and open a checking account with my real information. Makes the police work a lot easier.  

 
I don’t provide my real information, and I don’t fall into the categories you listed. If a provider asked for my real info, and would be willing to exchange it with theirs than I’m all for it. Sure I may not be married or have kids, but do you think my old, conservative clients would still do business with me if they found out about this hobby?
Posted By: jenniekennedymn
Re: Real Life Info.
We are women, and the vulnerable ones in this situation. It's the least you can do to provide a real name to put us at ease.  
   
 The only people who have a problem with sharing a real name with a reputable provider are:  
 a) not speaking to a reputable provider, & have good reason for concern  
 b) overly paranoid  
 c) have malevolent intent  
   
 You're going to run into problems with bargain bin finds all day long, and not just in the context of giving your real name.


-- Modified on 2/26/2021 12:08:41 PM

SageX6 5 Reviews 85 reads
posted
26 / 26

I agree totally. I’ll take fun and down to earth every time, and come to think of it, I’ll save enough for actually a “extra time”. Not to mention, we are lucky to have some really pretty “massage Gals” in the Twin Cities.

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