Minnesota

In light of a previous thread, I can't help but wonderconfused_smile
MsChayse 1573 reads
posted

Just how important & desired is a provider's opinions & suggestions here on TER? Over all most seem appreciative (among those that post) & the angels love you! It does appear however that even a fun loving playful post by a provider is essentially bashed at one point before it moves on to the second page. This saddens me in all honesty & I prefer to hang on to the illusion that the majority of gents here DO appreciate ladies perspectives, insights, flirts & suggestions even when they may be rather adversarial.

I for one DO have a life outside TER & can easily refrain from bantering among the TER community in the event my absence is so desired. I have no doubt this holds true for any other lady that is willing to take time out of their busy lives to afford a few minutes here.

So help me out please. Is this really a "gent's only" site which has been increasingly the general consensus. Are we as providers to just be good little girls & post a sweet, flirtatious ad once a week on the ads board & leave you boyz to just banter among yourselves? I hope not but if that is what the majority prefers, I at least will be saddened, but willing to meet the demand.

Hugs & safe wishes
Leann

Morris19691043 reads

I get very tired of reading the same kinds of posts from men. I like reading posts from providers because they give different perspectives and ideas. Don't stop!

I enjoy reading the opinions of providers.  I also accept that my own posts are open to debate and criticism.  Heat and kitchens, so to speak.

However, as my two cents, please keep posting.

Your insights and opinions do matter to most of us gents.  There are always a few knuckleheads in every crowd.

helper_helping1069 reads

but I (we) have to admit our board has changed?   I remember back a few years, those were the days.    So many people left or don't post anymore, wonder why?  

Not complaining about the MN board, if you want, check-out the Chicago board....its' like an empty room.

This board needs to lighten up a bit. There use to be many providers that posted on this board, back in the day. But as the board got more cynical of every thing that a provider posted, many have decided that its not worth the abuse. The constant bashing gets very tiring, as I stated before.

We, as hobbiests should to listen to the providers prospective on things, without criticizing them. We may learn some valuable information, or at least just have some good old fashioned fun. This board should not become some exclusive mens only club. The ladies do have some very valuable opinions to share with us.

Many providers are very intelligent, flirty, fun ladies. I for one enjoy their posts. So ladies, I for one would love to have you continue to post here.

Thanks,
BS

just a form of misogyny. Sadly, there are lots of them around here. Please try to ignore them. The quieter ones among us do value your opinions.

My thoughts exactly.  As a fairly new TER member I find the interactions between providers & hobbyists refreshing and entertaining.  I appreciate the thoughs & insights shared.

Posted By: vallen
just a form of misogyny. Sadly, there are lots of them around here. Please try to ignore them. The quieter ones among us do value your opinions.
-- Modified on 8/12/2012 12:33:19 PM

ThreeCupsPlease1228 reads

I know that TER has provided Providers with a "Providers Only Discussion Board" that is a private forum where providers can speak openly, ask real questions and get real answers from other providers. This is a forum that is open to all providers, providing they have at least 3 or more TER reviews from established TER members, and providing they would like to be part of the board.

Apparently, this "Providers Only Discussion Board" fails to provide Providers with a sufficient opportunity to discuss issues of interest to Providers and provide other Providers with "real answers" to "real questions." Is there something more that TER could be providing to Providers that they are not providing to Providers now?

ThreeCupsPlease603 reads

I was unclear.  I was referring to the "Providers Only Discussion Board" that TER maintains.  Obviously, this board is open to the public.  Sorry for the confusion.

Hey TCP, and others.... There is a "reviewers only" board too. You have to have 10+ reviews to use it. From what I've heard though, it leaks like a sieve back to the providers, so be fore warned.

There is also a Reviewers Only board.   Guys who want the pure experience can go there.  You'll find that a well-read post there gets between 100 and 200 reads on a nationwide board.

the board will be a barren wasteland of meanness, 411's, NCNS reports, crudity, etc.  For me, I genuinely want providers' input into the occasional question I post, and I can't go to the "Providers Only" board to ask them.  Also, I love you ladies' humor, photos, and other perspectives.

We who pursue the hobby with ladies do so because we like ladies.  To exclude them from our boards is at cross-purposes to that.

I remember when I first started on the boards, last summer, I mainly frequented the GD board for some reason.  I remember several guys posting things like "Since I'm paying for this hour, I own her for that time, and I'll do whatever the f*** I want to.  She owes that to me."  I could hardly believe my eyes.  

The Minnesota board has the potential for going that way, if recent posts are any guide.  I certainly hope you ladies don't leave us guys to play among ourselves on the boards.

there is a lot less moderation of providers by mods with their own agenda. You can't, however, have such a forum which is open also to non-paying members without suffering some fools in the process.

First, I appreciate the ladies posting and as many have already expressed, hope they continue.  But there is a reason for the idea that this board is primarily a "guy's hangout" (credit to Vorlon).  Like Oldguy I have watched the GD board for some time and in fact am kind of a lurker there (I know some of you can't believe that I can hold my thoughts...lol).  I too have noted the rude manner in which many  providers are treated there, although there are 1 or 2 that seem to be accepted by the boys (London Rayne coming to mind).  I finally PM'd one of the anatagonists and asked what was up with the bashing.  I actually got a very courteous answer which boils down to this, several hobbyists think that providers use our discussion boards simply as marketing devices and fact I was suprised that some others have been watching our little board and named a couple of providers they thought were using the board to market themselves, by posting frequently and keeping thier names up in front of us.  So, I think that is that the issue really is.  I want to make it very clear that I personally don't care if a provider uses her posts as a way of keeping her name in front of us, but apparntly some hobbyists feel quite strongly that this is not a good thing and this, imho, is why they object so strongly to the providers posting frequently.

-- Modified on 8/12/2012 11:15:57 AM

You and I don't see eye to eye very often, but I'm very glad you posted this. I agree with you; I don't care of providers use the board as sort of stealth advertising, but I think I can see why some people object to it.

This hobby of ours, there are many dangers beyond LE. There's trusting the wrong people, losing things that are precious, being played for a fool. I see a lot of cynicism. I think that's too bad. Mind you, I'm not an idealist; one has to keep one's eyes open and see what is real as opposed to what one wants. But many posters have decided their solution is to trust no one. That's probably where the attitude against providers using a discussion board to keep their name out there comes from.

Maybe not. I do think it's fascinating, though, and I'm glad you brought it up.

I join in the sentiment that provider participation in this board makes it a better place and I'd hate to see it stop.

But here's something to consider. We all post inartfull or inappropriate things occasionally. (Well, okay, maybe vorlon doesn't, but I can't think of anyone else.) On a couple occasions I have looked back at a post and realized it was wrong-headed enough that I sent a PM with as much of an apology as my ego will permit.

In the post I think you are referring to, you told Pockethockeystar he wouldn't get any help while hiding behind an alias. The conclusion was correct, but the reasoning was false. In asking his question, use of an alias was no more 'hiding' than any of the rest of us using TER IDs instead of our names. The reason he wouldn't get much help is because using an alias did not allow for checking his history to see if he is legit. A guy who has no history won't get much help whether he uses an alias or not.

A poster is 'hiding' behind an alias when he posts something negative, churlish, hurtful or unkind that he doesn't have the guts to say under his TER ID. So for instance, TCP is hiding behind an alias in his slightly clever P themed post above, because his core message is that Providers should restrict themselves to the Provider Only Board and leave this one to the menfolk. (Similarly, I assume he would say any man with more than 10 reviews should stick to the Reviewers Only Board and leave this one to the non-reviewers and newbies. I wonder if TER would consider starting an Aliases Only Board.) If TCP had posted that message using his TER ID, it might negatively impact his ability to see Providers using his TER ID for verification. So it can fairly be said that he is hiding, just as he was hiding when he inserted his non sequitur about weight into the Pockethockeystar thread.

Whether intended or not, your post was harsher than appropriate. Which opened the door for a lot of mean-spirited criticism. You might have stymied it quickly if you had posted a mea culpa, but that is a hard thing to do. Sometimes, the best thing to do is walk away and find another thread. For better or worse, this board is not kind to the thin of skin.

MsChayse1060 reads

Thanks for your response. I did look back at my reply & thought "My! That looks a bit harsh" I could have chosen my words more carefully. It was not intended as a lashing at all. Too short & to the point. My communications on the board do tend to be such as frankly, I really hate typing. I do have to remember I am engaging in a conversation via text only. No tone of voice, or facial expressions to gauge my intentions with.

Please know this post is not a reaction specific to that one. It's an issue that many ladies have been discussing over time & I thought I would throw out the collective thoughts, hoping gents would let ladies know their interaction is in fact appreciated. I for one see that. Or prefer to see it that way & the responses (thus far) demonstrate I have not been wearing rose colored glasses. Lol!

Hugs
Leann

I like to hear from the women. I actually had my very first session yesterday (as I said I am new .... no secret there) and I had a wonderful experience because the gal was smart and a great conversationalist in addition to other attributes. I was able learn this beforehand by reading her posts here and PM'ing her. So yes, I want the gals here.

Long story short .... most intelligent genltleman appreciate and respect the individual as well as the act. That makes for a much more enjoyable experience for all.

Please do NOT stop. Thanks for all the providers info etc.

I for one enjoy the ladies views and comments. If they want to take the opportunity to self promote themselves... So be it. Does it really create a problem? This community is made up of providers and hobbyists. Without the providers, there would be nothing. There have been some on this board that I read their comments and just shake my head wondering wtf is wrong with them. (This goes for both men and women) But I just simply laugh and ignore them. In 10 minutes there will be something else to read. LOL  If this was a men's only board, I think it would be pretty damn boring.

I wouldn't bother with it. Although I appreciate the reviews, I'm not in this to make a connection with other guys and the usual message board fodder does nothing for me. I'm looking to make a connection. albeit an obviously temporary one, with various providers, so I do value your input on here. Sometimes things come up that simply don't or wouldn't get discussed during a date.

I've spoken about TER with several providers who want little to do with this board for the reasons you covered. So, while there is a list of hobbyists clamoring for providers to keep posting, some may want to have it both ways.

Those do exist and they serve a useful purpose.  But this is a coed discussion board.  When I first started posting, providers hardly ever posted here.  And I think the reality is that some guys would prefer to go back to those days.  I am not one of them.  Yes, I do think some of the ladies start threads to keep their profile high.  So what?  There are threads on here that don't interest me or I even find annoying but this board doesn't exist to just amuse and inform me.  Intelligent posts or not-so-intelligent posts are not limited to one gender.

Vorlon hit the nail on the head and I could not agree more.  I also would like to add that if it were not for the intelligent posts over time by my absolute ATF, I likely never would have met up with her.  Ads tell you very little, but quality written posts can give a glimpse of something way beyond the run of the mill experience.

Lol... It does work in my favor a lot, but the WHOLE reason I started posting here to begin with was when I emailed TER to request they let me in the provider only board.  They responded that I hadn't participated enough in other boards.  No really; that's how it started.  Since then, it's usually just really fun.  I love to flirt, and this is usually a good place to do that.  When people get really bent out of shape here, I just imagine they are spending too much time on the TER boards and not ENOUGH time with a good TER provider!

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