Minnesota

TRUST has to start somewhere....
Stormy See my TER Reviews 1979 reads
posted
1 / 13

So many times (too many, actually), when a prospective new client gives me references from other providers, the girls do not remember them.  I just got off the phone with a girl who had never seen a Hector (not his real name), nor had any recollection of the email address that he gave me to use when asking if she knew him.  This happens so frequently, I thought I would offer a suggestion for ALL hobbyists out there.  

Please contact your references ahead of time, to make sure that, #1-it's OK to use the provider as a reference, and #2-she will remember you.  

We see a lot of wonderful people, and that's what is so great about this business.  However, for safety reasons, and at the request of many clients, some of us do not keep personal information about clients handy to refer back to in order to jog our memories.  

We do understand that our clients often seek the company of other providers.  MOST of us don't mind giving referrals, and appreciate very much the cooperation that the other ladies give in this regard.  Truly....

Please do not assume that we won't cooperate with one another, or get mad at you if you ask us to provide a reference.  WE UNDERSTAND, and would like to help out.  

It will save so much time for you to contact us first, unless you'd like to just get it over with and join one of the services out there that provide verification for us.  

Some providers give discounts to clients that use verification services....I do.  And, other ladies will charge a $50.00 fee to do the work themselves.  

Please forgive the long post, but I hope this helps those on BOTH sides of the sheets have an easier, quicker time with initial appointment setting!!

Joy and Love to all.  Alantra

termsofdelicious See my TER Reviews 925 reads
posted
2 / 13

In the civie world building trust takes time.

In this world we trust solely off references.
Screening takes time, help us out by being cordial.
Often at the end of a date, I will tell my friend I would gladly give them a reference.

Thanks Alantra for posting this!
Softly,
SG

needinsex 1 Reviews 1016 reads
posted
3 / 13

I thank both of you ladies for your insights. I will mention one problem for some of us when it comes to references.(speaking for myself) I don't have the opportunity to enjoy the company of a wonderful lady that often, mainly due to where I live and a couple of the ladies I used to see more often have retired. So sometimes, it is alomst impossible to provide a reference, in my situation any way. However I certainly wouldn't blame any lady for not seeing me without a reference.

imDelilah See my TER Reviews 1183 reads
posted
4 / 13

Excellent post Alantra!

I totally agree with this:

"We see a lot of wonderful people, and that's what is so great about this business.  However, for safety reasons, and at the request of many clients, some of us do not keep personal information about clients handy to refer back to in order to jog our memories."

That is why I prefer to not give references after six months of watching a movie with a boyfriend.

I'm very reference friendly, but when I get one that said he hasn't seen me in a year or two...

Sorry, even if I could remember you clearly, too many things can change.  I don't feel comfortable giving my stamp of approval on someone I haven't seen in that long of time.

It's nothing personal; not at all.  I just want to make damn sure I know the person is safe to be with before I tell another provider he is!

I prefer getting a recent reference.  I'm guessing the other gals do also.

Thank you for posting this Alantra!
Hugs,
D.

-- Modified on 12/3/2009 12:06:45 PM

MILF_MARIE 855 reads
posted
5 / 13

First of all, it is far better and more efficient in letting the reference-giving provider a heads-up before using her as a reference.  Echoing Delilah’s words….if it has been awhile, do you expect us to keep a data bank on every Steve, Bill, or Dick?  That would go against everyone’s safety and security.

Secondly, if you’re going to use us as reference please include your target provider’s website information or TER ID #.  I check the history of purported providers to verify her reputation as well.  I personally will not give a reference to a purported provider whom I cannot verify is truly a provider.  Think about it…….am I going to admit that I’ve seen someone to a possible LE officer or to a wife pretending to be a provider?  Nope!  The remaining alternative is for me to contact the person using me as a reference to verify that he did in fact use me as a reference.  That is another step, and truly inefficient.  I had to do that today.

As Delilah said, I am extremely reference-friendly too.  But you must give me something with which I can work.  If I haven’t seen you in a year, then is it realistic that I would remember you?  Should I realistically re-screen you in order to give you a reference to make sure that you haven’t graduated from the FBI Academy?  Okay…maybe that last is a little over the top, but still not an impossibility.

A final note.  Please refrain from filling out a contact form or making a request in the late night hours, and expect your references to instantly respond or respond before 9 AM when you request the appointment.  Very few (if any) of us sit at a computer 24/7, or sit at incall locations just waiting by the phone.  So please allow some time for references to respond.  Pre-screening works well for all.  Yes?

Lionhawk 4 Reviews 768 reads
posted
6 / 13

Marie,

I would have to agree with all but one of your points here as I really don't think anyone wants you keeping a data bank on every Steve and Bill.  

But keeping one on every DICK might be ok!!!  ROFLMAO!!!!

oleoneeye 152 Reviews 1656 reads
posted
7 / 13

underscore my long-time position of refusing to participate to either ask for or respond to a request to provide references.  I have not once in 30 years of hobbying been required to provide a reference from another provider.  I have, however, taken advantage of verification sites such as Preferred 411 which take away the hassles for either party. 90% of the new providers I see do not require a reference.  Personally, I think it spoiles the illusion of the girl-friend experience when you ask that girl friend to vouch for you so you can go meet and fuck a different girlfriend. Now I suppose I can get real and realize that I am simply asking a professional sex worker for a business reference, it should be no big deal. Just my .02

By the way, I remember my first visit to see you, which is quite memorable for other reasons, and I am pretty sure that you just used your instincts rather than any reference when judging to see me.  I liked that.

remylively See my TER Reviews 1216 reads
posted
8 / 13

"I think it spoiles [sic] the illusion of the girl-friend experience when you ask that girlfriend to vouch for you so you can go meet and fuck a different girlfriend."

Yeah, probably. You know what else spoils it? Getting beat up, raped, mugged, or arrested. Kinda puts a damper on the whole night.

Stormy See my TER Reviews 1657 reads
posted
9 / 13

I'm glad that you remember our first visit.  I have changed the way I conduct initial visits as of late.  I do value my life, and want to keep my "position" in my company!!

takingmytime 73 Reviews 1547 reads
posted
10 / 13

"Some providers give discounts to clients that use verification services....I do."

I took this as her preferred method as she offers a discount if you use this method.

I have to admit I am not a fan of having my information in a database of an adult services verification site!  

I prefer keeping my name as found on my birth certificated between me and my family and out of the hobby entirely.

tmmcnghtn 19 Reviews 1606 reads
posted
11 / 13

References are a simple and painless way to protect both parties. I would never see a provider who did not ask for them.

30 years of great luck for one person is not a logical reason for another to take unnecessary risks...

Don't be "fooled by randomness"

endorphinjunkie 820 reads
posted
12 / 13

You either use a reference service or the two provider system or you are playing russian roulette!

Gut instinct just doesn't cut it for me anymore.
I live in Minnesota where alot of people got busted and rumors are rampant still.

Willie_Buyit 716 reads
posted
13 / 13

"Alot of people got busted" who are these lots of people???? I am aware of only a couple with issues... wow just keep the rumors flying lol

For the novice a reference service is probably the way to go, but I still like the personal reference the best myself

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