Look for an article titled  "Civility and Interpersonal Competence"

"The loss of civility in our nation arises because children - and adults – are not taught these basic social skills… We cannot, and should not accept this... "

Seems like this forum would be better off if we recognized first that we are like-minded in the important respects - and left the hostile posts for the political boards.

If one is going to do the dishing, one must also be willing to take some too.

The problem is a few white knights with vested interests keep thinking they should be able to do the dishing and are unwilling to take some back.

Remember this a public forum, opinions matter and it goes both ways. If one is unwilling to respect the opinions of others or allow the opinions of others to be posted without attacking them back, then such issues are best dealt with in a more private manner back channel where all willing participants can sing kumbaya!

This is the problem TER has with free memberships and free VIP for phony reviews.  I just wish the board was providers and paying members only so that these bottom feeders would disappear.  Instead we are stuck with sociopathic trolls jeering others for no other purpose than self-amusement.

If you can afford $200+ per hour, you can afford $25/month.

It is possible to state a differing opinion in a kind and polite manner.   Too often, the aliases get mean and nasty unnecessarily.

by failing to ignore the trolls and haters. And it's not necessary to respect other's opionions, but we could all be more tolerant.

And not just you. Speaks volumes, IMHO. Too bad the ignore feature is basically a toggle switch.

I have never written a phony review either.  

I HAVE had reviews denied by TER though.   Both good and in one case,  VERY bad.  The latter the type of thing I know people would have liked to have heard about.  Not the type of thing that encourages paying membership--or trust in the system!

Also, isn't 3/4 of all the drama on the board caused by paying members using an alias?  A feature not available to non-paying members?   I understand there are some legit used for an alias but have to wonder if it's worth it when a feature seems to be abused so often.

How do you become more tolerant if you don't respect the opinions of others?  You don't have to agree with their opinion but you must respect it to become more tolerant.  I'm not talking about the attacks just differing opinions.

I have found that I learn and grow by hearing as many sides to a situation as possible and then forming or reforming my own opinion.  I know by being open minded many of my believes have evolved and grown over the years.

The real problem with civility today is that people have been taught to be offended by differing opinions, not respectful of them.  Again, you never have to agree but you do have to listen if you want civility.

I bet if you charge for using the boards and go that way Ter will be gone for good within a year.  I don't always like paying to read reviews and its not because I am cheap its because I have learned that YMMV and its really about chemistry.  The real problem here is many seem to think they are superior to others and that their opinion is the only one that counts and that there favorite girl has to be everyone's favorite.   If 5 people go out to eat together do they all order the same thing???  Unless the restaurant only sells one item I doubt it.

Listening is good; respecting something that is nonsense is disingenuous.

As an absurd example (at least to me and to avoid my real views of the world for now), some people might actually believe that finding a four-leafed clover will bring them good luck. I can’t respect that belief, but can certainly tolerate it.  No harm to me or them.

For the "deeper" issues, just Google Tolerance vs. Respect and the debate and issues are well covered.

And just for fun, really, about open-mindedness: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RFO6ZhUW38w   Tim Minchin - If You Open Your Mind Too Much...  (the first 30 seconds … the rest of the “song” isn’t particularly germane for this thread)

I believe you can respect a person without respecting their specific beliefs/opinions. It doesn't pay for me to over-think these things.

And an add-on thought:  “You are entitled to your opinion. But you are not entitled to your own facts.”
― Daniel Patrick Moynihan

-- Modified on 5/11/2012 11:24:32 AM

So it is not related to this post and I don't use the ignore feature like a toggle switch.

Sometimes during long periods of inactivity, I get logged out before I realize it and I see posts of those I choose to ignore before I have to sign in again. Your post caught my attention at the top and I thought I would read it and I chose to respond to it.

to my original reply to your post. White knights with vested interests like to dish but are unwilling to take the dishing.

It is all nice to speak holier than thou when it is convenient for oneself but one has to practice what they preach for it to have any meaning or significance at all.

Hey at least the babe in the picture is cute, now I would do her.

open the link before you give an answer. Just another meager troll hiding behind an alias, too cowardly to show his true handle.

Sorry to have thought it was this post. I apologize. Obviously I stuck a nerve with you......Ouch.

-- Modified on 5/11/2012 8:01:51 PM

I meant no offense and had no intention to sound so harsh. It is not the person I am but I became angry when you called me a dummy, that hurt and I overreacted.

Have a nice weekend.

If someone pays for membership, there's a high possibility he's not writing reviews, hence defeat the purpose of having this forum. You should think outside the bun.

Apology accepted. Have a great weekend HC.

-- Modified on 5/11/2012 8:38:26 PM

Seeing as so much of the rest of the world takes such a dim view of what we do.  But unfortunately there are always some number of people who won't behave in a civil fashion; they overreact to perceived slights, attempt to manipulate matters to their own advantage, or in some fashion just cause trouble.  Fortunately, they are a distinct minority.

If you are too cheap to spring for VIP, using a few aliases as an excuse won't fly.
You can still post without VIP, but you can't read all of the worthy details of reviews. Isn't that more important? You can't get PM's. Isn't that more important? I guess not since you focus is on alias whining that is FREE.

...offering advice based on my personal experience as an escort who has been stalked and handled my dilemma off of the board. The poster ("palski1") who called me a bitch is not technically considered an alias, because s/he has an envelope next to her/his name. S/he was just as disrespectful or more than an alias who has a different opinion of the main MN board clique, IMHO. http://classic.theeroticreview.com/discussion_boards/viewmsg.asp?MessageID=157394&boardID=21&page=

I use an alias and will continue to do so as I do not prefer the added exposure to LE. Been there, done that being in the limelight and all, and it is not my cup of tea. I am grateful that TER admin is smart enough not to group all alias posters together and ban the use of aliases. I would stop being a paying member if that were the case.

Happy Saturday!

Sorry about that, you didn't deserve that.

Re: Hey, no worries. I don’t mind a bit of spunk.

Hey Miss Lady,
Thanks for accepting my apology.  I can be a tad rambunctious at time.  I am Pheobe, Nice that it worked out, you seem sweet.  Again, thank you.  Be well

Hey, no worries. I don’t mind a bit of spunk.

The thread was pretty passionate overall, so I understand. I only brought up that exchange between us to demonstrate why one should not categorize all alias posters as disrespectful. Anyone can have a bad day. We all do and it's ok. Anyway, I appreciate your comments. Ok now if you haven't already, go outside…it is gorgeous out! hugs

Without the "free" VIP incentive to write them, a lot of these lazy fucks wouldn't write them at all - it's really kind of a pain in the ass to get one approved without simply reciting a redundant list of acronyms or if you dare to say anything negative - and without reviews this site is as useless as a pair of tits at a GOP convention.

Shit, I pay for membership just so I can avoid writing them, and won't bother unless asked to. And in the minds of many, I am every bit the troll, jeering others for my amusement. Making the puppets dance isn't exactly "fun", but it provides a sort of mild contentment for a very short period of time, like while waiting in line to recieve my holy booze...I mean "sacrament"...at Sunday mass.

So you see the problem isn't cheapskates - it's assholes. And you can't escape them - ANYWHERE.      

Finding a four-leaf clover IS good luck! Anyone who disagrees should be hung from a Ronald Reagan statue by their scrotum. I can tolerate your respect, but I can not respect your tolerance. Plus, my chicken laid your egg. And...wtf is this conversation about again...pussy? Mmmmmmm me like pussy.

We now return you to the vaginal part of your programming.