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How do you handle this? Personally I’ve come to realize that the less a provider knows about my personal life or I know about hers is better. I don’t want her knowing my real full name, nor do I care to know her real name. Still is there a point in time (especially if you’re a repeat customer) where those barriers come down? You become more like friends, thereby breaching the business relationship. Doing the latter sows seeds for doing favors like a little extra cash here, a little more time there…..Start sharing stories about how many kids and even their names and what schools they attend? What the hell else is talked about in say a 2 or 3 hour appointment in between pops?
....although there are some general principles. For instance, many here will advise you to keep a wall between your personal information and the provider and I can't argue with that. If you are seeing a number of different providers that is probably good. But there is a big diffference between hobbiests that are married and/or have sensitive jobs versus someone like me who is a single gent and is mostly retired from the day to day operations of my various enterprises. If a provider has my personal info there is not much potential for damage to my personal life and business. My adult children find it quite humerous that I see hot women (yes, and they know I pay). I also tend to see the same ladies multiple times over long periods of time and bonds may develop, not romantic relationships, but easy casual relationships that do lend themselves to sharing parts of life beyond the "business" of the date. I have had long term providers that I call my friends and they seek my advice and support and I am happy to give it. Like any other human interacton, the relationships between men and women in the hobby run the full spectrum. Understanding your own circumstnces and protecting your personal life if you are married or have other concerns should be a priority if needed, only you can know that. Same for the providers, some have far more freedom to share parts of their life and make friends here, some must stick strictly to business for a variety of reasons. There are no hard and fast "rules" besides be kind, respect each other, have fun and just do what works for you, imho.
-- Modified on 7/31/2012 5:25:04 PM
If it's someone I want to see 2 to 3X a week, I like to know their real full names and have their personal phone numbers. The four I have seen who would reveal that info all were/are low-volume providers. One downside is that you are apt to hear about the drama, if any, in their lives. Benefits include priority scheduling, special pricing, no clock watching and more. Depends on how much or how little of a sense of a "personal connection" you would like to have.
We have all seen the "Based on a True Story" disclaimer of "Some names, dates and places have been changed to protect the innocent".
We all need to protect the innocent, also known as our families, who didn't sign up for this life-style or to be in any way associated with it.
Example: if you have a 3 sons who are 18, 19 and 22 and they are all students at St. Cloud State, then you say you have 3 daughters that are all students at UND. Maybe she asked for your full name and it's Josh Washnowski. Perhaps you tell her it's Josh Wiznewski? Will it matter? Probably not. We all need our privacy and it's up to us to protect it. It's not personal it's just the nature of the business.
Whatever you do just keep it simple (protecting only the most important details only) and let the rest slide. You love hockey and play in a league? Tell her if you want. You are a runner and you were adopted. Sure. What does she care and how could she know any different. But for the names and places, it might be best to cover up those items to try and maintain some level of privacy.
Just my .02
I think it depends on the situation, for me I'm super low volume so I'll know who if at all slipped out info such as I/ C location and so on if it happens. How would you know if a provider knows your real name or not? Most of us don't disclose our capabilities. Nevertheless
I'm happy to say how many kids I have & ages not so much names even then I purposely mispronounce or give vague nick names . Telling Misc little tidbits about me isn't a problem unless you make it a problem vice versa.
With the internet, and face recognition software, anonymity will soon be a thing of the past. If a courtesan asks general questions about my personal life, I answer honestly. I've never had anyone ask my last name, what my address is, where I work, personal email, phone, etc. It's just never come up, but then I see only the professionals. From my point of view, the companionship and conversation are every bit as important as the sex.
I return, I try never to pry into the private life of a lady. This is supposed to be a professional relationship, after all. That being said, just because you can't be friends, does not mean that you cannot be friendly, kind, considerate and interested. As I was just telling a certain lady, one of the great things about the hobby is being able to tell an objective person, who does not know you or your friends, family or colleagues, and get their opinions on conflicts in your life. Sometimes a disinterested third party can be a lifesaver.
As were others who chimed-in. It is rather difficult to be in the most intimate interactions possible, and not cross the line.
What they are comfortable with, what they feel safe letting the person on the other side of the pillow knowing. And with everyone's personal circumstances being different, some people run greater risks in letting personal information be known.
You say you want to minimize the amount of personal info you give out and receive. If that is what works best for you, great. Easier said than done though when you see someone regularly, as I'm guessing you already know.
First of all here are some simple rules. Don't ask my what I do, ask my where I see myself in 5 years. Don't ask about family, ask about what kind of women I'm attracted to. You get where I'm going? Don't ask about reality ask about the future because we're paying for fantasy. The worst question I've been asked was "do you want to have children ever" ?! Maybe she wanted to bareback who knows.
of work, and other real personal info.? if not, whats the reality of screening? if she is screening fake info? Personally, some personal talk makes for more girlfriend passion. but I do like to take turns with several so as to keep this whole thing a hobby and keep the emotions in check.
Of course, screening involves you submitting personal information to the provider. Try asking the provider for her personal information and see how far you get! I cannot understand the apparent eagerness of some hobbyists to expose themselves to the uncertain risks of having their personal information in the hands of people whose lifestyles are likely, at some point, to bring them into contact with law enforcement. When I bring this up, the "inner circle" of certain providers and their worshipers will howl that we MUST provide this information for THEIR safety!
There is no requirement, or reason, to provide personal information to a provider. The only people who do so are those who cannot bear the thought of being turned down by an attractive woman who they wish to meet for "adult fun." That's not likely to happen. I have been turned down twice in fifteen years and, in each case, I simply called the next person on my list.
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In addition to the services such as P411 that were mentioned, probably the most common form is references from other escorts.