Minnesota
There's only one race - the human race.
We all bleed red. Everything is ethnic heritage, or culture. I have a degree in Black Studies. I am raising young Black & Latino men. African Americans are safe to me. The only time I've heard of providers not seeing Black men is because they have a pimp, 🤷🏽♀️ Boyfriend, or management who told them not to cater to AA's.
I personally, see all ethnicities as long as my vetting comes through with no background checks that cause alarm 🚨 I do not discriminate. I have been robbed and attempted rape in this industry & I never stopped seeing people due to any specific incident. To stop seeing all white men because I was assaulted and robbed by one bad person does not make sense to me. To each their own. Their bodies and their rules. Find providers who love all people. TER has a whitelist that I use to personally vouch for every gentleman I have met. Sorry you have been discriminated for something you have no control over. I'm a lighter shade of brown & have been a victim of racism. Sending virtual love. 💗 hug 🤗 kiss 💋I know there are a group of ladies who don’t see black men, and the reasons I’ve heard is violence, scamming and even “size” (weird).
It’s sucks because we all get grouped together like we’re a monolith and I’m personally none of the examples mentioned.
My small suggestion is maybe if there was a group where ladies had an approval system of some sort where they can give an ok for guys? I don’t have the answers of what it should entail, but instead of dismissing a whole customer base, maybe it would help?
Of course if it’s just a preference to not see anyone outside of your own race then that’s different. But if it’s truly just past experience then maybe some ideas like this can be thrown around??
We all bleed red. Everything is ethnic heritage, or culture. I have a degree in Black Studies. I am raising young Black & Latino men. African Americans are safe to me. The only time I've heard of providers not seeing Black men is because they have a pimp, 🤷🏽♀️ Boyfriend, or management who told them not to cater to AA's.
I personally, see all ethnicities as long as my vetting comes through with no background checks that cause alarm 🚨 I do not discriminate. I have been robbed and attempted rape in this industry & I never stopped seeing people due to any specific incident. To stop seeing all white men because I was assaulted and robbed by one bad person does not make sense to me.
To each their own. Their bodies and their rules. Find providers who love all people. TER has a whitelist that I use to personally vouch for every gentleman I have met. Sorry you have been discriminated for something you have no control over. I'm a lighter shade of brown & have been a victim of racism. Sending virtual love. 💗 hug 🤗 kiss 💋
-- Modified on 3/8/2026 1:06:23 AM
Bia, you are a gem.
I usually try to be understanding of the woman’s POV, but you can never truly tell if they’re being honest. If they just don’t like black men, I would respect the upfront honesty because like you said, it’s their body their choice. But lumping us together does not make sense at all.
But I would love to see someone like you who genuinely enjoys everyone. Sorry that those things happened to you in the past.
I hear you, and I'm genuinely sorry you're navigating this.
One honest thought: a provider screening you out based on a stereotype isn't someone whose company you'd enjoy once you got there. That form of screening "at the door" is usually information.
The system you're describing does exist though. There are platforms like P411, references and vouching from providers you've seen. Those matter to the people who are actually paying attention to individual behavior rather than assumptions.
What I'd push back on gently: the framing of "preference" deserves more critique than it usually gets in these conversations. A preference doesn't exist in a vacuum. That doesn't mean people aren't allowed to have preferences. They absolutely can. And people can run their businesses how they choose AND we can still ask what's actually shaping that choice. Because let's not pretend the foundation of some of those preferences are neutral.
If it's about your race and nothing else, I'm genuinely sorry. You deserve better than that. That's not something an additional vouching system fixes though. It's truly up to the provider to treat each client as an individual.
Very informative reply.
Thanks for engaging.
Bigotry lies in the hearts of way too many people but it is rarely brought to the light until the differently colored skin threatens to get too close.
I encourage providers to make it plain if they are opened to everybody. That way there's no uncertainty.
I put in all my ads and on my website that I'm open to seeing all people, including Asians and African-Americans.
If sex work is work, then they should not discriminate on protected classes like race or age. We read sex workers are just like dentists, hair stylists, etc. While they may say they focus on things like black hair, ain't a single one of them are going to have ads that say, "NO INDIANS ALLOWED"
A sex worker is supposed to see everyone one who has the fee for services !
She can not rule out old fat guys, different races, or the young and immature.
This is your doctorine - but I do not see anywhere where you are seeing any old , fat ,providers with only one tooth.
You can go through pages of reviews and pictures and because you have money she is expected to see you. .
No prejudice in your choice of where to play and who to play with . It happens with every lady you see !!
Oh yes when you do see her and find she is not your type or into you a review is written on her other then stellar performance .
-- Modified on 3/15/2026 10:25:29 AM
Regardless of their reasons and how unsavory they might be, you don't get to tell someone that they have to have sex with a certain person if they don't want to.
FSSW is not a legal or regulated industry, which also means it can’t be held to the same anti-discrimination laws that other businesses are held to.
Due to the intimate nature of the work, I do think right of refusal is necessary. I personally don’t discriminate, and to Paige’s point, those who restrict certain races from seeing them should analyze what is going on behind those choices. But I also know providers who have age requirements or who decline seeing someone with certain political beliefs and I think that’s perfectly reasonable even if it isn’t how I operate.
To your point about SW being work - that slogan is meant to define SW as a valid means of labor. It is not meant to say that there is no difference between SW and any other job/business. Different industries have different needs or requirements. Not all industries, for example, require specialized licenses, while some do. Businesses can operate differently and still be considered businesses.
While I don’t think providers should discriminate on the basis of race, I also think this conversation demands more nuance due to the complex nature of this job.
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