The Missouri man, 19, dialed cops Saturday night to report that he paid $60 to a pair of prostitutes to perform sexual acts for him. As McNames described it, the deal called for one woman to show him her breasts, while the other would perform oral sex on him in the living room of his mobile home at the Columbia Regency Trailer Court.

While “the first woman showed him her chest,” police reported, the second hooker “took the $60 without holding up her end of the deal (oral sex).” The pair then “jumped in their car and left,” according to a police press release. That’s when McNames made the mistake of calling cops to report that he was a larceny victim.

He also requested that officers contact the woman who did not fellate him and “get $40 of his money back,” police reported.

I just find this story hilarious.