You find out somehow that a provider who doesn't seem to be around anymore is actually working under a different name, has gone UTR, etc - so what do you do?
I suggest you pat yourself on the back and STFU.
There are myriad reasons a provider goes off the grid - and very few of them are any of your business. She may have had a stalker, she may have been outed, she may be trying to avoid being outed - and when you stick your long nose in and trumpet your discovery on the boards you may be damaging her just so you can be That Guy Who Knows Shit.
So many guys whine about screening and ladies who want their personal info - and think nothing about spreading her business all over, just because you can.
Come on, people. Think. Just because you can doesn't mean you should. When someone posts about how much they miss xxxx and where are they now - if ms xxxx wanted them to know, she'd have told them.
Waaay too many people on this board with nothing better to do than back channel misinformation and gossip. Don't they realize how much damage they can do? Right on about the ones who think they know shit and pride themselves on their so-called knowledge. There IS a limit at what should and shouldn't be discussed but apparently there are those without filters who cannot make that determination. Just learn to MYOB people!
Your right Puck. Thanks for you understanding of what many providers have to unfortunately deal with to be our providers.
Puck:
You nailed it. I know a number of providers that are experiencing the situations you described. Some of us are well informed as hobbyists, and we know what up!
Many aren't, and they want to experience the 'rapture' of providers. It doesn't mean that name changes, etc. is bad. Matter of fact, it could be good for the provider and the hobbyist.
It ain't our job to be the 'hobby cops'! Unless there is bad stuff a going on!
Live and let live. The axiom of the hobbyist!
I am fully in agreement that the privacy and anonymity of providers should be respected. This is true, whether there is a "good reason," or no reason at all. It seems that everyone understands and agrees with this concept.
Ironically, when hobbyists, who may prefer not to provide references, ask for this same respect for their privacy and anonymity, all hell breaks loose, among the ladies.
Imagine if a provider asked me for references, and I responded that I have recently changed my name, for personal reasons, and gone UTR, and I hope that my desire for privacy can be respected! Do you think I would be accommodated?
Providers do not identify themselves with personal information, unless they choose to, and neither should anyone else. Maybe we could ALL agree be respectful of one another's privacy and anonymity. It just might work out pretty well.
[
... between men posting information on a public discussion board without permission from the woman, and women requesting information, which they promise to keep confidential, in order to feel safe? You are conflating apples and oranges in your eternal quest to pressure women into letting you fuck them with total anonymity.
Apples to apples would be women posting personal information about men on the Minnesota discussion board, and you can be damn sure that "all hell" would immediately break loose if that were to happen.
Promises to keep information confidential aren't always kept, so if a woman won't accept provider references or P411 in place of personal identity information I'm not going to see her. Sometimes that makes me sad. But it really baffles me why you constantly whine about women choosing to exercise their own judgment about what they need to keep themselves safe. Are you really arrogant enough to think your money should suffice to force a woman right out of her comfort zone just before she starts taking her clothes off?
From one alias to another, you need to find yourself a glory hole.
Ironically, when hobbyists, who may prefer not to provide references, ask for this same respect for their privacy and anonymity, all hell breaks loose, among the ladies.
Imagine if a provider asked me for references, and I responded that I have recently changed my name, for personal reasons, and gone UTR, and I hope that my desire for privacy can be respected! Do you think I would be accommodated?
Providers do not identify themselves with personal information, unless they choose to, and neither should anyone else. Maybe we could ALL agree be respectful of one another's privacy and anonymity. It just might work out pretty well.
[
I suppose we should consider that the idea that we could ALL agree be respectful of one another's privacy and anonymity is just not realistic.
A lady goes off the grid and there are established rules that help keep it that way if she requests being delisted. But a change in name only - I am not sure your advice is consistent with TER policy. Why would TER encourage disclosure by linking profiles when its reported. There are as many reasons that are pro-hobbyist as there are pro-provider when there is a new identity. How can these be distinguished? Now I am not suggesting that its good to publish the news on the board indiscriminately but there have been many cases when its been very beneficial for hobbyists to have that information and its not against the rules.
I suggest you pat yourself on the back and STFU.
There are myriad reasons a provider goes off the grid - and very few of them are any of your business. She may have had a stalker, she may have been outed, she may be trying to avoid being outed - and when you stick your long nose in and trumpet your discovery on the boards you may be damaging her just so you can be That Guy Who Knows Shit.
So many guys whine about screening and ladies who want their personal info - and think nothing about spreading her business all over, just because you can.
Come on, people. Think. Just because you can doesn't mean you should. When someone posts about how much they miss xxxx and where are they now - if ms xxxx wanted them to know, she'd have told them.
Some escorts are trying to escape a history of bad reviews. I've also been told some escorts simply like to change their names at times, particularly if they are coming back from a hiatus. I don't know why but I have no reason to doubt what I heard. In a case like that, it's clearly beneficial to her to have her new and old names linked together. If a lady has her profile delisted, then she's not allowed to be talked about. If she doesn't, there is no way I know of for the TER membership to know why a lady changed her name and whether it's better kept quiet or discussed openly. Perhaps if TER allowed providers with a good review history (however that might be defined) to have their old profiles removed and still create a new one then maybe that would work.
So how does it benefit you or anyone else to disclose unless you have a compelling reason to do so?
Unless you know for certain that she is a danger or a rip off etc and is changing her name for those reasons - and by that I mean you know personally, beyond a shadow of a doubt, not "I heard from somebody who read it on a bathroom wall...." - then just keep quiet.
Let me guess - you were the kid in the back of catechism class coming up with the weird scenarios that would make it OK to eat meat on Friday - the ones that made the priest make those funny faces while you were elaborating.
My guesstimate (and yes I do recognize it for that) is that the biggest category is escorts trying to escape a bad reputation. You've got a basic conflict between TER's primary purpose of being an information sharing site for the guys and the need that some of the ladies will have to re-invent themselves under a new identity and leave the old one behind. I'm dubious that coming down almost completely on one side of the issue is the best answer.
But this does raise a question in my mind. You're the moderator. What are you going to allow and under what circumstances?
If a provider is in danger and needs to change her identify for personal reasons, she needs to get delisted. Its just plain naive to think a name change is going to insulate her from her other identity and reviews for long. How about you stick to moderating the rules, do in consistently, stop editorializing, and stop making up the rules. You can have an opinion to voice like everyone else. Unfortunately most will interpret your op/ed as a rule for as long as you are the mod as well.
And this post of yours is so typical of how you resort to personal insults when logic fails you. Your post flies in the face of established TER policy. When a new review pops up for a provider with a different name but same photos and phone number and you send TER a problem report stating the other name(s) and profile for the same provider, guess what happens? They link them, thank you and award extra VIP days as a result. So if you have a problem with the existing policy, I suggest you take it up with TER admin not this board. And I don't give a damn if you moderate me again for this.
Unless you know for certain that she is a danger or a rip off etc and is changing her name for those reasons - and by that I mean you know personally, beyond a shadow of a doubt, not "I heard from somebody who read it on a bathroom wall...." - then just keep quiet.
Let me guess - you were the kid in the back of catechism class coming up with the weird scenarios that would make it OK to eat meat on Friday - the ones that made the priest make those funny faces while you were elaborating.
You find a provider who changed her name - write admin, who knows far better than you - or I - why such a thing might be allowed. As far as posting it on the boards go, I maintain that the best course of action is to STFU.
As far as moderation, my skin is much thicker than you seem to think. I have never moderated anyone on the basis of personal insults or contrary positions. You seem to have an inflated sense of your own import in my world.
I will not permit busybodies to play with people's livelihoods - and sometimes their lives - on this board simply because they want to impress the peanut gallery with their erudition. Do it and you will be moderated at the very least, not because of any opinion but mainly for ignorance and hubris.
If you think I act contrary to TER policy, there is a button labeled 'Contact Us' that goes to Admin, or you may email [email protected] and whinge to your hearts content. If Admin agrees with you then perhaps you'll have a shot at replacing me. I invite you to make use of it. In the meantime, I'm the referee.
Here's the question that wants answering, IMO - why would you have a problem with erring on the side of caution when talking about posting potentially damaging information about someone?
-- Modified on 1/31/2011 7:58:58 PM
Oh my. Trust me on this. The last person in the world whose opinion matters to me is yours. In fact I am more interested in moderation without the benefit of any opinion from you. My original post in this thread was meant to challenge the context of your original post which seemed to set a new standard regarding the subject of providers with multiple names. Its very often virtually impossible to know the reasons why a provider has changed her name. When an inquiry surfaces about a provider who has a live profile under another name, it has never been a problem in the past with posting that information. You also presume too much about any self serving or malicious motivations behind such a post. Most of us here are simply contributing information that benefits the hobbyist by pointing to legitimate information contained within TER. To blame the hobbyist for revealing the info is misguided in my opinion. The provider is protected by TER policy with regard to any personal info being revealed in a review and always has the option of being delisted.
As for having an inflated sense of import, look in the mirror.