...be taken care of at the beginning?  No offense to your gent friend, but I normally confirm the time I will spend in the company of a beautiful woman at the beginning of a date, then there are no disputes about the time frame and if there are, they are dealt with up front.  That said, it does seem a shame to blacklist a respectful gent over this, it seems harsh.  To me the blacklist should be a used only as a last option in cases invlvoing NCNS (without an acceptable exuse) or some  bad behavior in the session or a generally bad atttidue and/or threats to the safety of the lady.  How about you Hilary, you are certainly an elite provider, what would you blacklist a fellow for?  Clearly from your post, not something like this.

How to know, how to fix

It was very good of you to bring this blacklisting to your friend's attention. How does a hobbyist without a friend such as you learn that they've been blacklisted and the reason why? Once on a blacklist, if the listing was undeserved, what avenues does a hobbyist have to set the record straight? Do most blacklist sites allow another provider to post on behalf of an accused hobbyist?

Posted By: adsumsparkle

A wonderful, respectful, mild mannered, WELL mannered, courteous man.....was recently Blcaklisted.   I have another good friend who happened to also fall victim to this.
Sometimes gals wrongly or maybe vengefully Blacklist good men. .....men who mean well and meant no harm.
The case in point is my firend who thought/assumed he booked one hour. She thought/assumed he booked 2. He spent one hour, actually a bit less than an hour, PAID for one hour. She then felt shorted and he tried to explain. She would not listen and then Blackilisted him.
This post is just a heads up to let everyone know and be aware that the Blacklist is not a Black and White tool for us as providers.....always be open minded. Sometimes gals use it in an unfair way.

As many like to say on this board....."just my 2 cents"! And also maybe a fun conversation starter! And guys, if any of you feel youve been wrongly blacklisted?    Speak your peace!  

There was recently a provider in Las Vegas who got stood up at the last minute and was asking if she should blacklist the guy, expressing the opinion that she would.

My response to her was, that while I thought she was attractive and had excellent reviews, I would decline to see her.  Blacklisting works by putting the gentleman's real name out on the blacklist board.  It can be searched and found by SO's, spouses and prospective employers.  Occasionally, shit happens.  Cell phone batteries die, cars won't start, meetings run late.  A mature person recognizes this and does throw a hissy fit as a result.

Miscommunication between clients and providers will always occur, the provider in question is too immature to recognize the client and she and the client merely failed to correctly communicate.

As a result, he is blacklisted and she is out a client.  How many appointments would this guy have made assuming the first was any good?

The only blacklisting activity I have heard of before concerned physical assaults.  If gals are going to put up every item of miscommunication, the blacklist is going to be too filled with junk to be of use for provider safety.

You or your gentlemen friend should identify the provider here so that we may avoid her.

Can anyone here text?  A great way to avoid communication mishaps.

All the blacklist websites are getting plenty of traffic the past several months and have gained traction with Google which has moved these websites up the rankings. Google has moved them up their rankings because of rapidly changing content and increased new content. Perhaps because of the bad P4P economy, some have taken things to extremes and will blacklist any guy for any reason.

Blacklist my hobby phone number, blacklist my handle, blacklist my hobby email all you want. I will just get new ones and find a lady who wants to see me.

The problem arises when someone's real name, phone number, personal email, street address or place of employment are blacklisted. A simple Google search for this information will pull the blacklist websites to the top and a guy's life is FUCKED. Many of these websites are not encrypted or secured (they should be) allowing Google spiders to read them.

Blacklisting using a guy's personal information is the last frontier IMO and I would rather quit the hobby and return to BP style hookups.

The lesson here is to never use your real name, personal/work email, work information or any other info that might compromise your identity when a lady screens you. I don't care how hot a lady is or how good her reviews are! It is not worth the risk. Just read the legal board or the GD board on a regular basis and see how people's personal lives are getting ruined. There are many ways for a lady to screen a client and assure her safety without personal information getting exchanged. We also have to be careful when engaging in "small talk" with a lady during the appointment about sharing too much personal information.

I don't even hobby with my real first name. I have a unique first name and a simple Google search of my first name will pull up all sorts of stuff about me like where I went to school, college GPA, dean's list, college pictures, even newspaper "public information" listings. If a lady finds this information about you on the internet, she could use it to blacklist or even blackmail you. Good luck getting the owners of these blacklist websites to remove your information without a suit and even then it might not work because some websites are owned and hosted outside of the U.S.

I have invested the time and dollars to create a hobby identity for myself, it has been worth it for my sanity at least.

This post is not directed at Hilary but those who are concerned about their privacy and want to protect it.

I have not been in the industry long, however, I have learned one thing about it. That one thing is COMMUNITY. I have seen a blacklisted client, and he turned out to be a wonderful friend.  I have learn to use this board (even with toungue lashings, trolling, or confusing banter), and to trust other providers more so than a simple list.  As for a NCNS, I would have to simply say "you fool me once, shame on you. You fool me twice shame on me".
I do agree that there is a place for these lists and I thank them for all the safe fun that it allows me to have.

Certainly made this Sat night fun and entertaining.  Fun when the members come out of the woodwork.

The OP could lose her membership in that blackist site for divulging info only members have access to and its certainly not uncommon for that to happen. I was blacklisted by a still active provider in this area about 5 years ago - a provider that I had not even patronized!  

This just underscores why you never provide a provider with any personal info, always use a hobby phone, and never let them see your license plates. You can never win an argument with a provider and you can't tell which of them can be mean-spirited just by how nice they are to your face.

IMO:  The guy who was blacklisted by this provider should put her provider name out on this board.  That provider should have had her last appointment in this town.  A discussion over opinions on the appropriate use of a blacklist is a good one for this community to have.

Blacklisting should be limited to the SAFETY of providers and not run of the mill disputes over whether an appointment was a NCNS or one hour or two.  Is a guy who NCNS's a prick?  Absolutely.  But even an explanation after the fact should mitigate this.  "My friend had a heart attack and I was administering CPR."  

If the client robs her?  Absolutely blacklist him.

Donation short $20?  Give him a chance to correct it.  If he doesn't, don't see him again and put his handle out on a blacklist and PO board.  His real identity?  Over $20 that could be an honest mistake by either the provider or the client?  Get real.

From a client standpoint, anyone familiar with the name Katie Monroe?  I have absolutely no issue with a TER handle or provider name being reflected here to communicate behavior during hobby activities.   But even if I knew Katie Monroe's real identity, I would not dream of putting that identity out on a blacklist or this board because she stood me up.  

A related topic, I shake my head at the number of posts here about a "411" on a gal they saw on backpage with no review.   Are you kidding me?  That is not an issue of thinking with the little head, that is an issue of not having a big head at all.  Just ask Lawrence Taylor.

First of all I think this is a very important issue for the hobbiest, so the post on this board is absolutely appropriate so it can be discussed, NOT specific names, but the general use of a blacklist.  First off, I am a privacy advocate, in this age of everything being just out there on the net, it is hard to keep our lives private.  In my opinion the secrecy supposedly mandated by these so called blacklist sites is actually counter to our privacy rights, because a base line truth of privacy is that we should have access to every shred of information about us that is out in cyberspace.  We never will, but we should.  A secret blacklist historically has ALWAYS been used by governments and groups against those they did not agree with.  You know, even when one is charged with a serious crime, the U.S. Constitution requires that the accused be given the right to face his/her accuser in court.  And, as part of that process, the accused (through a process called Discovery) is able to see in advance of court, the entire case and all the evidence against him/her.  Is any of this true with these secret blacklist sites?  NO!  Who is policing the proper use of these sites being sure that only the true "bad apples" get reported, yeah, we know that answer already..NOBODY!  The safety provided under these conditions is illusionary and the possible harm to the client far too great.  I know of several ladies over the years that had this blacklist been available would have used it against me for any manner of trivial reasons, the worst being that  they got mad at me when I decided not to see them anymore.  I know that you ladies that have posted here are stable women, but you have to admist there are a lot of women who use this blacklist to get back at a man for "perceived" wrongs.  The ONLY way to fix this is to open the process up, let the light shine in.  If a man is blacklisted he should know by who and for what reason and then be able to give his side of the story.  This is what happens here at TER.  If a lady gets an unfair review here, she knows who the reviewer was and can always come to the board and tell her side.  Fair is fair ladies, we should have the same opportunties with a blacklist report (which is essentailly like a ROB review).  You also have the ultimate weapon, don't see a bad hobbiest again if he disses you and discuss him on the PO board if you want.  This secret stuff has no place in an open society.  Finally, to those who say it is about the protection of the lady, yes I agree, but you won't accomplish that with a secret list.  In an open society like ours one of the reasons an individual's crimes and criminal history are public information is so everyone can know.  Our Founding Fathers had lived under secrecy and wanted no part of that in this brave new world.  My 2 cents this morning and because a lot of what was posted here last night got me thinking about this.

-- Modified on 7/22/2012 10:05:19 AM

Actually lots of good discussion about a hot topic.  Now to go out in the heat and sit by the lake..sheesh what a hard life..course my ATF is on vaction too...=(...maybe I'll just take the pontoon out for a little motorboatin..and drinkin..     lol

-- Modified on 7/22/2012 11:57:14 AM

Maybe not all of them but the ones I have heard about do not attempt to verify the report made to them, allow personal information about clients to be openly posted, and sometimes even refuse to ever take a report down even if it is shown that the information is false.

So, just how useful are such sites when clients are being blacklisted for minor offenses? Not very.  And yes, they do leak; even if a site attempts to verify that providers are legit information will get out.  A provider that would blacklist someone over a miscommunication like this one or an NCNS is someone I would not choose to see.  Word does get around about which providers do this sort of thing.