Minnesota

Surprise surprise
mnslider25 2992 reads
posted

One more for the whole 'reference' debate...

A provider I was going to see this evening indicated she'd need to see a business card AND my license upon arrival. When I stated I'd be ok with that as long as I got to see HER license as well, I got "Yeah, like that's going to happen, F___ off".

Oh, I see, so it's ok for the LADIES to 'demand' that level of revealment, but heaven forbid they play by the same rules.

So, while I really didn't need/want to see her license, I shot back with that partly in frustration, and partly to gauge her response(it was pretty much what I'd expected). Providers expecting the guys to risk everything with that level of revealment(please - leave that alone), while never DREAMING of doing the same speaks to the BS that's been perpetuated here...I.E - 'safety' is all about the girls, and the hell with the guys.
For those subscribing to that mantra - you can go pound sand.

For every person in favor of screening there is one or more who are not in favor of it.  For every person who doesn't screen, there are one or more who will think you are a crazy fool for not screening.  This is the way it will always be.  If you don't like the rules of one lady, say "thank you" and move on to someone who believes the same as you.   There is no need to get snarky with one another.   That behavior solves nothing.

SHe'd be a damn fool to show anyone her license, presumably containing her home address and legal name. And frankly, you'd be a damn fool to show her yours.

You can't trust these ho's. And they can't trust you either. So, just exchange lies to placate each other, you know, like you were married.

mnslider251044 reads

That was my point...asking for a license with all your personal info is outrageous - and she KNEW it, which was why she wouldn't do the same.

Casualprep1399 reads

Safety should be everyone's concern. There are a host of painless/effective ways of doing that outside of anyone's license coming into play!?

If a provider wants more than your comfortable revealing, simply move on.

That said, I do sympathize with your disdain for for anyone unwilling to take into account both parties safety/concerns - not cool.

You found out what you needed to know before the appointment was made.  You weren't willing to do what she wanted. That's your choice.  So, you just don't see her and find someone else.  It's really not that complicated or worth getting upset over.

will not get you any brownie points.  There are many great providers who are reading your post, and you come across as very disdainful against ALL providers.  I have been told, via email, "All that for a massage! Forget it."   My reply was something to the effect of referring him to other good providers that may not require references to check or ask as many questions.  If I'm not comfortable seeing someone, I know it way ahead of time.

I do not subscribe to the mantra that safety is all about the girls.  Guys need to be careful.  I do, however, subscribe to the mantra that we should treat others the way we want them to treat us.  I'd never write something this petty to the boards that the gents see, because I do not want to read them from you guys either.

How many self-proclaimed hobbyists are, at the least, slightly "off?"  Give me a nickel for every story I've heard from a provider about guys who call them at all hours, guys who show up wanting BBFS, guys who are unhygenic, guys who are abusive, guys who bring the envelope and it's short...There is a world out there of men who show their disrespect for providers thru bizarre, passive-aggressive, weird and potentially dangerous conduct.

Granted, safety is everyone's concern and there have been some scary stories recently about providers ripping off clients. But the provider, in the first instance, is in the vulnerable position.  As a hobbyist, you have the tools of reviews and the boards to do your research and ensure that you're going to be safe.  The provider is meeting a stranger, and has no tool.  Of course she's entitled to some assurances.

Posted By: mnslider25
One more for the whole 'reference' debate...

A provider I was going to see this evening indicated she'd need to see a business card AND my license upon arrival. When I stated I'd be ok with that as long as I got to see HER license as well, I got "Yeah, like that's going to happen, F___ off".

Oh, I see, so it's ok for the LADIES to 'demand' that level of revealment, but heaven forbid they play by the same rules.

So, while I really didn't need/want to see her license, I shot back with that partly in frustration, and partly to gauge her response(it was pretty much what I'd expected). Providers expecting the guys to risk everything with that level of revealment(please - leave that alone), while never DREAMING of doing the same speaks to the BS that's been perpetuated here...I.E - 'safety' is all about the girls, and the hell with the guys.
For those subscribing to that mantra - you can go pound sand.

Oh_My831 reads

You have no references.  The Lady may have verified you by name and as long as you are the "person" that she verified, you would be okay.  So, checking your I.D. at the door proves that you are indeed who you say you are.  I am sure she would not jot down that information to use for any other reason.

+1 & if someone just askes for 2 references instead of your personal info that's not a huge deal IMHO.

I once saw young provider, who didn't look 18 in her pics; no reviews, but I took a chance and upon arrival to the motel, she was the hottie in the ad. I mentioned she didn't look 18; She then offered her lic with her name & address covered, but the rest quite visible. It was her license. She was 18 & a few months. Post-it notes are so damn useful sometimes.

You know, you could easily join P411 or Date-Check or any of a number of reference services and everyone would happy.

But you seem to prefer just complaining or maybe you're just too cheap.  

The attitude displayed in your posts seems to speak volumes about your character.

Here's the deal: the providers set the rules.  For everything.  You can try to be cute about it or negotiate or whatever you want.  But at the end of the day, it's their call.

If you don't like it, find another provider and stop whining about it.

....show my license or anything else connected to my "real" life.  That (the refusal to show these) has cost me sometimes.  There was one totally hot provider from another city with whom I'd had a friendly e-mail exchange over the months.  Finally, she said she was coming to Mpls, and I jumped on the chance to see her.  Filled out her form.  She replied that she needed my real name and place of employment.  After some back-and-forths, where I referred her to my whitelistings and other things, it was clear she wouldn't budge (she was friendly about it, but firm).  I respected that...though I'm still in mourning for my loss!  

But, of course, there are more fish in that pond.  Gotta go...looks like one of my sinkers is bobbing!  :)

Posted By: oldguy666
 Gotta go...looks like one of my sinkers is bobbing!  :)
Hmmm...sounds like you might be seeing someone right now!   ;-)

....getting next week's schedule lined up!  :)

the flame wars start on this topic whenever either a hobbyist or a provider makes an obsolute statement about it and condemn all others for contrary thinking in a condescending or insulting manner.  Everyone is entitled to their opinion on this and can offer their reasoning but lets keep it civil.

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