I hope people won't take this wrong--this is meant to be a philosophical "food for thought" thing and not a repsonse to anyone's comments in the previous thread.
Isn't the tension of the previous thread unavoidable? A review site, by its nature, is quite judgemental. We all try and live up to our own expectations, and to the extent we can, isolate ourselves from the criticism of people whose opinions we don't really value. Example: I care deeply that I'm being a good father, and that my children think I'm a good father. But I don't care whether anyone else thinks I'm a good father by their standards. If I start molding myself to fit other's value systems, I'm well on the way losing sight of my own.
We take comfort in not feeling like we're being judged. Our social system would collapse into a state of utter mayhem if we all learned how to read each other's minds.
That's what we have in TER-- a system where the uncomfortable nature of being judged is visible to the gals, and life is more comfortable when the judgement is hidden from our own view.
I've seen most of the GREAT women that are active on this board, and luckily I've always had truly great experiences with them... I'm certain that if they got together and talked about me, at least one of them would say that I was a pretty fun guy. But at least one would say that I was a complete loser too--and that one might end up being my ATF. I'm sure I'd think of that as being unfair. (And I'd regret knowing because pretending she's enthralled in my hotness is half the fun.)
But I can't listen in on that conversation and claim that it's unfair. Not only are we not entitled to know everything people say about us behind our backs, we're better off not knowing all of it. And if we take action to "listen in" on how people are gossiping about us, we have to accept the news, good and bad--and it will always be both. I'll say that again-- it will always be both.
There's a great line about how "I'll never be as good as my fans say I am, but I've never been as bad as my critics say either."
I agree with Omega, as far as the idea of reviews causing some degree of conflict, but I would use the word subjective, not judgemental, myself. A person can write a subjective review of an experience with a provider without being judgemental. I also agree that none of us likes to feel like we are being judged and that not knowing everything that is said us is a good thing. No matter what, some people are going to like you and some people are going to dislike you thats just the way the world works, but I would just as soon not know the details from those that dislike me. I have be in the hobby on and off for 5 or 6 years and have had many great experiences and some not so great(read "can you hurry up I have someone waiting for me in the car), but I try to be fair with every review that I write. If I don't have a great time, I don't trash the provider, after all it takes two to tango as the saying goes, and there could be one hundred different reasons why things didn't click. I must say though that I sometimes wonder what guys are looking at or for or what they expect from reviews. I have seen both Catherine and Lisa Lee and am astounded by the reviews that they received recently. Catherine is a beautiful woman with whom I greatly enjoyed spending time and would love to in the future if things work out, but in reading her reviews and looking at the pictures on her website it is fairly obvious, at least to me, that she is not a slim/slender provider. She is built like the movie stars of the 40's and 50's, Betty Grable, Marylin Monroe, Betty Paige etc. And Lisa Lee is the other end of the spectrum. Although not anorexic model skinny, Lisa is easily at the low end of her ideal body weight range and also beautiful and a wonderful time. Then I see reviews of providers who may be incredibly attractive but consistently get less than stellar reviews, all of which seem to end "I should have listened to the reviews but she is so good looking I just had to give her a try". I don't get it. I guess I have always been more of a substance over style person. What I am trying to get at in this long rambling post is that we guys need to really read the reviews, look at the pictures, know who you are seeing before you go. Don't blame the provider for your own expectations not being consistent with the reviews that have been written. PS Someone in an earlier post or review mentioned seeing a pre-porn Christi Lake back when she was living in the Twin Cities. She was one of my favorites too, but she never did fs for me, although she gave an incredible massage. Oh remembering the good old days.
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