I've read every post, thanks for letting me sort out my feelings.  I think in all the posting frenzy it was overlooked that I did give him a reference and that he's seen another local in the past month who could have been used.  

Someone I thought was a friend was lying to me.  Hearing all the nasty things he's saying about me back-channel and seeing how a few seem to get a kick out of trying to make it their business to encourage this mess is disappointing, but typical    

I tried several times to have a conversation with him, but he won't let me talk.  I gave up on that yesterday and need to move on.  Posting this helps me do so...

His displaced anger was what surprised me.  In retorspect, it's got to be his life situation or a diversion after being caught in lies...  If he'd been up front, this would have never happened.  I never cared who he saw, I just didn't know why he was using me as a reference.  

All of this coming from someone who I talk to periodically as a friend about everything from the hobby to his extended family and his recent bad luck with his career.    

I feel sad, not angry and wish I'd have never contacted him.  I'll continue to provide references, but please don't assume I'm an idiot and don't treat me with such disrespect.  

To those that think they know me, you don't or you wouldn't have gotten involved in this discussion other than to treat it like what I'd intended it to be.  An open discussion about the process of reference checks and how to avoid hurt feelings.

When people get to know each other intimately... sometimes feelings get involved.

Good luck J, I hope you can move on soon.  

Sincerely
Not so P-Od anymore