I can honestly say that the last 48 hours has been the longest "2 months" I've spent as the mod. Whew! lol
I'm not discouraged and I don't take any of this stuff personally so I want the discussions to keep going.
Whether you agreed with the action taken by the TER staff or not, is up to each individual. While posting on the Board allows everyone to see what you've written, a note to the Staff will get their attention. They may not take action but at least you've had a chance to "get it off your chest".
But here's the reality, ladies and gentlemen, whether we agree or not;if a provider posts personal info about a client, that provider is history. As the mod, I will do everything I can to keep personal info (unpublished phone numbers, addresses, etc)of the escorts and clients off the Board. I don't know if I can ban the person who published it, but I can keep the person moderated indefinitely. And I will push the Staff for expulsion.
Now, let's move on ......
There are going to be disagreements on this Board. Fine and dandy. Sometimes I get criticized because people think they're being flamed. If you're going to post, people are going to disagree with you at times. As long as they are not making derogatory comments or name calling, there's really nothing I'm going to do about it. Sometimes people have to agree to disagree and ...... get thicker skin. And here's a personal request, if you're going to post something that you know is going to get some discussion, please have the decency to post under your REAL NAME.
Personally, the price issue has become a worn out topic. If the hobbyists think the price is outside of their range for a local gal, DON'T SET AN APPT WITH HER. Don't expect the locals to lower their price to meet your expected price. I'm involved with a couple of businesses and I NEVER let the customer set the price. If the traveling ladies are more to your style and budget, go visit them. And ultimately, ask yourself this; You're a male escort and some not-so-good looking lady, who might be overweight, and who might not be the cleanest, and might have facial hair, hasn't brushed her teeth, etc, wants a date with you. How much are you going to charge? And will you let her set the price? And are you willing to have your performance reviewed publicly? (Short dick, came in 30 seconds, doesn't know how to perform DATY, poor kisser, etc. And jeez, I wish he'd quit licking my ears and singing as he's trying to fuck me. Yuck!) Now, let's get into a debate on a public Board and squabble about prices.
Ladies, some of this "soap opera" stuff needs to stop. There are a handful of you that come across as immature, inconsiderate and read to pick a fight at the drop of a hat. Price has nothing to do with what I'm discussing. If you're going to have some of these disagreements, please do them by email, back channel groups or by cell phone.
I try to read all of the posts but by the time I've read them, some have been modified, deleted or whatever. Then I get contacted saying that "So-and-so said such-and-such" and I want you to do something about it. And sometimes the poster is an alias and I spend lots of time trying to figure out this monster "cluster f*** " and I'm not Andy of Mayberry!
So, I've probably made a few people angry and hopefully gotten most of you to view things a bit differently in the future.
And I'll leave you with a true story: My son (age 6 at the time) and daughter (age 3 at the time) were taking a bath together.
I heard some yelling from the bathroom and decided to investigate. My daughter says, "He called me the "C" word!" My immediate reaction was, "How am I going to explain to her what he just called her because I know she'll ask me." I cautiously asked her, "So, what did he call you?" She looked at me innocently and said, "He called me a "crotch". I left the room laughing. Happy Holiday everyone.
Keep up the good work srvfan! Your task is always going to be tightrope walk and you'll never keep everyone happy. But, I'm real happy you're doing it.
-- spaceguy
P.S. Don't forget to take some time and listen to Stevie Ray *wink*
Srvfan - I don't know who you are - but in my opinion - the mod is just too damn cool! Keeps doing a great job without many thanks and keeps it all in perspective.
Let's bottom-line this whole thing. Money.
Some have it. Some want it.
The ones that want it want to convince the ones that have it they are the best place to spend it. They may try this above the board with great web sites and great service and they may try it under the board by posting slanderous comments about others under different alias. When a perceived threat occurs, some will fight and do drastic things to prevent loosing that money. Some will do this at the risk of hurting themselves if found out. They may do all of the above. Bottom line, it's money.
Bill Gates and Larry Ellison - Microsoft and Oracle CEO - Bitter rivals and two egotistical men. Are they any different? I don't think so other then a little more public. Bottom line - it's money.
Some want Mercedes and some want old Yugos. Each can see the beauty in their choices. Each will make the choice they want. Who they buy the object they desire from will be decided by each individual taking all factors into consideration, not one recent comment from an acquaintance or one great commercial. What ever they buy, each one really wants one thing and the bottom line is, we want value for - you guessed it - The Money.
And if Money can solve a problem - then it probably isn't a problem at all.
Everyone has an opinion and an ass whole - guess this is the place where we can share both!!
"....if a provider posts personal info about a client, that provider is history."
Okay, but what is the policy of "Staff" when a client posts personal info about a provider?? As I read your post, there is not a hard and fast rule in place at this time, is that correct? And that it would be up to Staff, (and not you), to do so??
It just seems to me that to not have this policy work both ways can not been seen as fair. And looks very disrespectful to the women of this group. And I truly don't believe that's the intent of any of us......
I hope this doesn't sound out of line. I just want this to be fun and safe place for ALL of us to talk to each other...
It’s much harder to confirm that a provider’s privacy has actually been violated, so yes, I believe that such instances should be evaluated on a case by case basis by the staff. There is seldom an instance where it would be appropriate for a provider to post any client’s phone number, for example, but clients legitimately post providers' business numbers all the time.
If a client somehow obtained and posted a provider’s private home phone number, it would not necessarily be immediately apparent, and might very well go unnoticed unless the provider complained herself. Unless the hobbyist highlighted the fact that he number he was publishing was a private one, the moderator would not catch it. Even after it had been confirmed by the staff that the number published was in fact a private number, it would still not necessarily indicate a violation on the part of the hobbyist. He may have just posted publicly available contact information from another public source, and it may be another individual on the other site who was responsible for posting the private number and misrepresenting it as a public one.
Posting a provider’s location is not always a clear-cut violation—particularly in the case of massage providers. Publishing a home address is one thing, but publishing the location of a massage parlor may or may not be an issue. The example being thrown around is Jessica’s massage location being published. Massage parlor locations may or may not be secret. Everyone jumped to the conclusion that her business location was not in the public domain, but I’m not so sure, because I don’t recall Jessica herself protesting the matter. In any case, if a client goes to a massage provider’s place of business and sees her business name posted on the outside of the building, it’s logical for him to assume that it’s OK to post the location. In this particular scenario, it is not the location that’s confidential, but the fact that the providers working at that location offer extras.
It’s not an issue of double standards; it’s an issue of different roles. Providers are the businesses, and hobbyists are the consumers.
Providers and escorts cannot be treated the same because they are not the same. I will accept the same treatment as providers when they start paying me for my time. Both clients and providers should be treated fairly and consistently as I think they have been.
No, we are not the same. However, is their right for privacy and discretion any less than ours just because we are the ones paying? It's not like we're giving them money for nothing.
Not less but maybe different? For example we are best off if no one knows who we are here. The girls, on the otherhand, do need some sort of visiblity or availability to be contacted. There are probably many other differences too. I am just saying that to be fair the rules need to consider the differences.
Different yes and there should be some differences in the rules because of that. As you say, the ladies need some level of visibility so we know they are available. I tend to think they should be allowed to set that level. I doubt we should be posting anything more detailed than what the provider herself advertises. To give an obvious example, we should never post that we saw provider so-and-so at their incall and list a specific street address and city. There's been a lot of acrimony lately and we should try to resolve it so we can get back to the point of all this, which from my side of things is to periodically be able to have a very pleasant time with an attractive woman. The whole thing reminds me of an old joke. Q. How do two porcupines mate? A. Very carefully!
I have been in business for 32 years. The main thing I learned is to listen to my customers. Taking the attitute that if you can't afford it go someplace else only leaves you with less customers.
I really don't think there was any intent of srvfan to ignore our privacy at all, let alone disrespect us - like some of the other posters have said most providers do put their cell numbers and/or e-mail addresses out there for all of you to see. However, I would hope that if someone other than me posted my number, that one of you would call that number and alert me that it has been posted. Likewise, if anyone mentions my name along with a small town in Iowa I would appreciate the info
Srvfan - it's typically a silent and thankless job you have, and I hope your level head is the one leading us into many new years to come.
Amber, just for the record, regarding your ealrier post about catching this early. I first saw the post very very late that night, probably 3am. I dropped an e-mail to SRV's personal e-mail address right away, sent an e-mail to sparks, and not wanting to wake what may be a family guy, sent an urgent SMS message to his phone instead of calling it. (I had the number, after all) I was tempted to call him anyway, but really, there was nothing he could do to fix it beyond what I already tried.
The mistake I made was that I should have called Madison... I have her number too (we all do), and she could have edited it that night. So simple, yet so easily overlooked.
My point is that when these things happen, it's too easy to hit the next button when instead we can try to fix it right on the spot.
Good job on doing everything you could to try to prevent this from being as big of a tragedy as it turned out to be (not that the act itself wasn't bad enough, but for the number of people that wound up reading it). I believe Catherine said in an earlier post she tried to call Madison but that her phone was turned off due to illness. Regardless what's done is done, and at the very least I hope everyone here learned a good lesson about privacy and double checking what they have written before hitting that send button.
I think there is a fairly simple solution to a client posting (possibly) personal info about a provider. All providers using TER are supposed to have an internet presence. No client (or other provider for that matter) should post any any contact info other than the web site. As the web site is (presumbably) under the control of the provider, this should allow the provider to control what personal info is publicly available. If anything else is posted on the discussion board, it should be removed. If any other personal info is posted it should be removed. I did find one provder through a post on this board where the client simply posted the web site but no other contact info and I had no problem (how hard is it to do a mouse click) in follwing up on this and ending up with a very nice time.
That is a good start and exactly what I meant when I said that we can't treat cleints and providers the same. Now what about posting the address of a massage parlor. Someone mentioned this earlier in the discussion. In that example the place even had a sign outside showing it was a massage parlor. Some MPs take walk ins so the address would be really helpful to guys who have a hard time planning an exact schedule.
OK, so how about just mentioning that the MP in question takes walk-ins in your post? In the worst case an interested reader goes to the goes to the add, calls the number, and gets the address. Not a great burden I would say. In fact if I were running such an establishment I would probably want my ad to have the address and the fact that I take walk-ins to try to get a bit of an edge on the competition. Would there be any real harm in putting the address in your post? Highly unlikely and maybe I'm just being overly cautious. Still. sometimes a series of events, all of which seem perfectly innocuous at the time, can, when strung together, set the stage for one final event with quite unpleasant consequences. I'm just trying to think of a procedure that if followed should make it very difficult for these unpleasant things to happen.
Most providers do not have web sites. Their “web presence” usually consists of a link to an ad on an advertising site. Most of these links are invalid half the time depending on whether the provider is paying to advertise that week/month, and become permanently invalid once she decides to change advertising venues.
Most of the girls that do have their own websites use one of the “create your own web site for free” sites. Because these companies give away the space for free, they place severe bandwidth restrictions on the sites. Once the daily bandwidth limited has been exceeded the sites don’t function properly until the bandwidth counter is reset for the next day.
Very few providers have permanent, reliable web sites, so there are still many instances where it makes sense to post a providers business contact information on the forum. In fact, it is not uncommon for a provider with limited computer access to actually request a hobbyist to post her contact information for her.
The choice of the term web site was a poor choice on my part. Mea culpa. Let me try again. As I understand it, all providers on TER should have some sort of internet presence. Now, the providers are running a business and they need to advertise, in this case on the internet. It is their responsibility to make sure that the quality of this advertising (keeping the link valid by paying for it, making sure the contact info is accurate, etc.) is maintained. If they don't, they lose business and that is their problem. A provider who charges $$ per client, sees only one per day, works only 5 days a week, and takes two weeks off per year still makes 50$K/year. I suspect, based on the conversations I have had with providers, that they can and do make a lot more than that if they choose. A decent computer and an internet connection is not that expensive. I don't know what advertising on places like citypages, tcuncovered, eros, and cityvibe runs but I doubt it's that prohibitive. It is true that a) you get what you pay for, and b) you have to spend money to make money. Maybe a provider who is just starting out might find it difficult to do these things right away. Maybe a provider in such a position should be willing to put a fair amount of the income they are making initially into growing their business by providing a quality web presence. Maybe that has a lot to do with who ends up as an A-list provider and who doesn't (somehow I doubt the local A-list providers reached that status overnight). Of course, change is a constant and bad things do happen. TER even asks us to report such things to them so they can try to keep provider info accurate. Obviously, it's quicker to post something to this board but I think that also makes it more prone to error or misuse. I see your point and it's a good one. Suppose in such cases we only posted that the provider's web presence is no longer correct, submited a problem report to TER, and only provided specific contact info through one-on-one contact with any other TER member who requested it? This would clearly be not as convenient but might serve to provide adequate safeguards to inadverdently posting info publicly that a provider might not want out in the public. As far as the case where a provider asks a hobbyist to post that kind of info for her goes, well that's different I think and I don't have much of a response for that. Truth is if a provider asked me to do that for her and I enjoyed being with her I'd likely be extremely willing to do that. Maybe that's hypocritical but I am still also a man who's very attracted to beautiful women. I also admit I could be really wrong about this, particularly as I am a newcomer. It wouldn't be the first time I opened my mouth only to end up with a foot or two in it. I would also like to hear more from some providers about their thoughts on this as this thread is about their privacy. Come on ladies, let's hear from you how you would like us to behave in this matter!
PLEASE stop acting like you know so much about us providers. In almost every one of your posts you claim to know so much about us and this business but so far you have only convinced me that you like to see yourself post. Most of the time what you say is NOT representative of us providers. You have also convinced me that you believe women to be less than men. Maybe you need a break from your computer and from this hobby.
Why should anyone care what you have to say? How many aliases do you have now anyway, LOL. I hardly think you were elected provider spokesperson. Why not discard all your silly disguises and see how many providers are even willing to be associated with you?
I have seen but a very few angry posts! One would be Morgan's where she calls us all a bunch of ass holes and yours where you are showing a great deal of anger and are flaming another poster who was only contributing his personal knowledge to a discussion thread. Why are you so angry? Might it be because you are very controling and are extremly frustrated that you can't manipulate the posts and posters of this board. Might I suggest that you follow your own advice and take a break from your computer...it is a beautiful day...why don't you go for a walk!
I would offer also, but I think a non local would work best. That is one of many reasons that our current Mod does such a good job. Objectivity is hard enough to achieve without having a personal/physical encounter with a local provider/hobbiest
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