Last summer on Twitter, I saw a thread about companions wanting to start charging $200 extra per date if you needed to get a reference. $200 was the starting rate; some wanted more, some less.  

If I remember correctly, less than ten escorts responded, and I only saw it once. The escorts that responded were from somewhere other than this area.  

Also, this only meant they had to contact another escort, but I wonder if each escort wanted $200 extra...so $400 total.  

Good idea, not, or I don't give a crap?

...a "convenience fee" to the donation if a guy doesn't want to go thru the screening process.  To me, this is actually acceptable but only if she's willing to be a reference afterward.

Since I initially saw that, I've had a few thoughts. I see several reasons why some ladies would want to charge a fee. Suppose escort A has a dozen or more requests for a date with a possible new client. That means a dozen times contacting escort B. They're getting to be more escorts not doing a reference, sooo. Maybe a guy is using the lady as a fake...he never saw her before to get by. Hoping she will just let him slip, and a charge might prevent this.

One that I've heard a lot is a client using her for a reference a dozen or more times...gets stale.  

Many years ago, I used an escort as a reference with somebody I wanted to see. I get a call from escort B, and I'm ok. But she said, "what the "F" is wrong with her"...escort A. Why? Escort A almost bitched her out for the asking, and since I saw her first...he's mine attitude. I don't want to give franklins out for that. But it's worked out anyway because I've been seeing escort B for like eight years.

I have had frosty responses from a few friends along the lines of "why not come see me instead" followed by "it's been a few months since I saw you so I'm reluctant to give a ref."  That's happened twice in the last year. Needless to say it didn't make me want to go back to either of them. Locals used to be more cooperative with each other I think, and that made screening in the Cities much easier.
For the same reason there are several regulars I wouldn't ask for refs because I'm pretty sure I would have to pay for it (not talking about $) if I did.

The idea behind references was to make it easier for clients and providers to connect and give them provider some assurance the client was legitimate.  It also helped promote a bit of a sense of community among both providers and clients.  Yes, it is not perfect and some people take unfair advantage of it but charging for it does nothing other than give a short term financial boost to any provider who gets a client to pay it.  Greed is not good.

I’m with Vorlon. If ladies require references, they should give them.
To charge people for that is ridiculous.
The ladies I return to have always been super cool and helpful with references.

When first started with GFE met with a well known provider and asked if she would provider a reference as I was new. Her response was absolutely but do not wear it out without at least an occasional revisit.
Have not used any provider more than twice without returning and do not return to those who have not responded to reference requests.
Think it is called courtesy.

-- Modified on 2/18/2023 8:02:11 PM

I have a NYC provider friend who also will have a no-screen fee, which involves a public meeting before hand -- at which time she can call an audible.

Would it make a difference if a guy sent a modest gift ($25-$50 amazon card etc) to offset the time it took to deal with providing a reference?  For those deathly afraid of the potential consequences of sending PII, this is pennies...

I found a way for myself where I no longer needed references meanwhile , still able to filter 95% of the a holes out.. screening is still required.  

It was a hassle missing dates because a reference wouldn't answer In time or at all.  

There was a period where I kept seeing folks who repeated the same thing, that a group of providers recommended to see me,  since they were newbies and were not allowed to seem them unless they had a refernece . They were the same providers who would always ask me for referneces. But never once answered any of mine . Though,  I'm flattered I was getting business and chozen to be trusted in a sense.  But i was weirded out that they wouldn't place in the same foot work I did and not answer my requests.  

One time,  I didn't know a John was dating a provider. She had reached out to me and I responded happily . Little did I know she was trying to catch him in a lie maybe.  
He then reached out saying I didn't have any permission to even keep his info or even share that sort of info with anyone  and he was upset about the inconvenience  

Next thing I know she was trying to flag my ads and send fake inquiries. And he later on told me and confirmed it.  This isn't something I want to ever experience again 😕  

I understand why a provider would need to whether or not a cluent would be a good fit for them.  
Personally , I now will only accept referneces if the person is retired from work.  
 I will only provide reference  only if the John had reached out before hand ✋️ and if I still have their information.  

I've been in this for 18 years now,  others more, some less,  
And we all have been trough different kinds of trauma working as a SW that sometimes it just teaches us what we are willing to handle and move with caution for protection on both sides. Safety is my second biggest concern .  

The Peen is my 1st 😘

Lastely, Being used as a referral for years on end with out any returns from the same John is quite annoying. So an occasional visit would be respectful. And just simply ask nicely  before hand.  👌

For free! Because I feel like us providers are like sisters in arms and we need to watch out for each other.  

A few times last year I came across 1 or 2 providers that were clearly annoyed with me asking them for a reference. Which always blows my mind. But I guess that's just me. 🤯

References keep providers safe - putting them behind a paywall is a terrible practice. I say both as a male sex worker that serves gay clients, and as regular client of sex workers.
Who's to say a dangerous client couldn't just pay a provider for references without even seeing them?

Any provider that offers references for a fee should be blacklisted by other providers, they should refuse to give references to the offenders.

...providers are ethical people?  We have been lectured by many that providers do NOT retain PII after verification.  How then could there be providers out there that would charge a fee without even seeing a client?

The fact that a provider is selling references is disturbing. This provider needs to stop or they need to be stopped. I don't want to get an ok from a gal thinking this fella is great all the while she's never met him while he's at home planning to rob or rape me. No thank you. Knowing this, I'm hesitant to accept any references from providers I don't personally know.  
I don't screen to be annoying I screen for my safety. A payment does nothing to provide a safe session. And if the fella wants to put a price that I'm comfortable with risking that my safety and freedom it's gonna be a lot higher than $200!!!