I have watched for several days now as post after post discussed the NCNS and business habits of a certain provider.  This is not about her, hence a new thread.  This reason for this thread is  because I see the whole NCNS argument, double booking, last minute cancellations and other issues as a matter of business integrity.  I have watched (in disappointment I might add) as some here have white knighted for known offenders and ask myself, why?  It it because we are thinking with our small heads?  Emotional empathy?  Whatever it is, I know that this type of behavior devalues the hobby.  Why do I say this?  First of all, I showed up on TER early this year, but have been very active in the hobby for 35 years.  I have seen hundreds of ladies, married a provider, and helped several through difficult times, so I am no newb.  What tickes me off about NCNS and simliar behavior and the defense of it is that it devalues the time of the hobbyist.  For years I ran successful enterprises and when I made an appointment to drive across town or worse a 90 minute (1 way)  drive to the cities, for a scheduled appointment, it actually cost me my valuable time which equals money.  I do not think one can ever say "oh, just wait till you see this provider or that one, she will make up for it".  Yes, and those who say that will do what?  Offer to pay me for lost time and effort?  Of course they won't and most would say that is being ridiculous to even mention it.  I have NEVER seen a provider again once she pulled an NCNS unless there was a reasonable explaination and an effort to make it up in some way.   Conversely, I always treat a lady's time as valuable.  Let me ask this to you hobbiests who make exuses for bad behavior, are you going to white knight a hobbiest who pulls a NCNS on a provider because he is overwhelmed in his life and is a bad time manager?  Yeah, I already know THAT answer, that guy may end up blacklisted and he will get no sympathy on the board and the hit to his rep is deserved.   That brings me to what really bothers me here...what the fuck is going on in this hobby when respectable hobbiests are willing to to engage in promotion of this double standard and lack of poor business integrity by what they do and say.   I have employed lots of people over the years and I can tell you that no one in any of my companies was given a pass on not showing up for work without a damn good reason that was communicated at the time of the no show...not an exuse days later.  To the men, don't you realize that we are hiring the services of a provider for a set time, why should NCNS or short notice cancellations be any more acceptable in the business relationship here in the hobby?  And what about the scores of ladies who work diligently to honor a hobbiest's time?  Don't they deserve prirority over ladies who have low business integrity?  Can a provider rehab her reputation?  Of course, but it takes diligence over time, not exuses.  In my opinion this deavluation of the individual hobbyist's time devalues the entire hobby, in other words, all of us.  This is not just my 2 cents, but my strongly held belief


-- Modified on 8/3/2012 7:41:34 PM

This is the reason I see women I like both as providers and as persons and stick with them -- quality vs. quantity. As a successful businessman, you know that not everyone is reliable. Anyone who wants to see hundreds of girls is going to have NCNSs. No sense criticizing other hobbyists. It seems to me that most of them are very good about reporting NCNSs. Was thinking about voting for you as the Mayor of TER ville but, after that missive, I'm sticking with the old guy -- he posts at 3 a.m. right after completing his night shift. Very conscientious and dedicated guy!

I am being critical of exuse making and didn't refer to any individual, but I think it is a problem.  And yes, I have had my share of NCNS, but I have always crossed that name off the list as low quality.   I do link business integrity to quality and I do agree with you about quality over quantity.  In fact, that is why I 'm a very low "volume" man that sees high quality ladies, but I see them frequently and like them as persons too.  As far as the mayor thing, well, it's cute, but not really interested in that kind of stuff, in fact I find it a bit strange here on a fuck board.   BTW, like you, I have the done SD thing, that's how I ended up marrying a provider years ago (oh boy, now there is loooong story).



-- Modified on 8/3/2012 6:40:54 PM

While I like Sugar Babies, I am not looking for a wife or GF. And I understand you wanting to experiment a bit. Sometimes, a SB will connect you with her UTR friends. That's a good way to keep things fresh.

...let the NCNS offenders take their licks here on the board. Then they can work on redeeming themselves by proving they can provide quality service to all.

I have never NCNS'ed a provider and I have been NCNS'ed by only once. I do a lot of research into seeing a new lady and I tend to see the same gals over and over.  This probably limits my exposure to the practice.

My view of NCNS is that it is not a defensible business practice, but I am probably willing to cut the lady in question some slack if she offers a pausible explanation.  There can be reasons as to why a NCNS happened, but it gets problematic if it becomes a habit.   My grandmother died loses its credibility by the 3rd or 4th grandmother.

We need to remember that while this is a business, it is a very personal business and providers do not generally get to the point of their profession because it was their life long dream.   I'm am frankly surprised that there is not more flakey behavior.

I once had a provider refuse to see me again because I only gave her a 24 hour notice of cancelation.  I had to cancel because I was in the hospital, not easy to get to my hobby phone to make that call.  Ya know, my life is complete without her.

And should be pinned to the top of the board.

cool post, but you're right, there will always be at least one white knight d-bag for an NCNS'er.

I don't disagree with anything you say.  However, I think that within the broad range of people that we know as "providers," it is not realistic to demand, or expect, business ethics that are compatible to your own. Many providers are people whose lives are, for some reason, out of control. Why else would a person risk her ability to make more money in a day than she could normally make in a week, or two, by missing an appointment and not calling to cancel?.

It's a puzzle without a solution.  As a caddy once told me, when I was deciding between trying a very difficult golf shot from a bad lie, or taking a penalty, "you can try it if you want, but you are just going to frustrate yourself, sir."

I personally am willing to make some allowances given the illegal nature of what we do, the fact that many providers really don't know anything about running a business when they get into this, andthe fact that everybody screws up at times.  But that doesn't mean making excuses for them and it doesn't mean that I keep giving them chances.

1 chance, sure........2, maybe........3 or more, adios, amiga!

that most ladies do not have any "business knowledge", hence no business ethics.  You cant expect new providers to know the ins & outs of being a provider from one day to the next. New providers have to find out what works for them & that could take a couple of weeks or longer. If the provider has been around for a year(s) then maybe she feels she is running her "business" accordingly & that includes a few NCNSs.  It is a shame that you cant hold a provider to the same standards as most business professionals, but you can tell her that she will be losing you as a regular client. If shes smart enough to understand the impact of what that means, she might get it together & hopefully see you again.  
It took me a couple of weeks to get the hang of things & a few months to figure out TER.  I did NCNS 1 person this year (only because he showed up an hour early) and I have had 4 NCNS me, which in my book is pretty good, zero would be better but hey this isnt a perfect world.

vorlon seems to distill what's in my head and express it more clearly than I could have. Still...

Like most of us, I agree with the OP. The thing to remember, though, is when the date is made, the girl does not become an employee, or independent contractor or anything other than a woman who's agreed to engage in intimacies for money. Plus, this is illegal, what we do, so having hard and fast (no pun intended) expectations is fooling yourself. You can really only be sure you're going to see a provider when the door opens.

You can't take the risks out of the hobby. You might waste your time, you might waste your money. You might spend an hour having the best sex of your life. You might get arrested. You might have pretty good but not great sex. You never know.

But it's okay not to see a girl who's NCNS'd you. I do that. And it's totally okay to rant about it on the board and enlist other hobbyists to agree with you.

My only experience with NCNS left me knowing that she did that. She blatantly decided to write me off without any effort... as if to say she wanted me to stop seeing her and NCNS was her method of communication. Another chance? Oh come on.

Under softer circumstances I would agree with your assessment. If she was really awesome, I'd be up for another try.

...to get a handle on things if you are new.  But consider this, I got PMs from many providers who said they had never NCNS'd a client in their entire career in the hobby and their reviews tend to validate this.  Bottom line, an appointment is a promise of sorts, you either keep it or not.  Some providers and hobbyists don't have a habit of keeping promses, some do.  I call it being characterized by promise keeping or not, simple, but real.  And yes, "shit happens" but we live in an age of instant communication, no one should ever be left wondering what happened, imho.

It blows me away.  Aren't we trying to say that we should treat others the way we want to be treated... and vice-versa!

Exactly...very well put!!!!