every one I've reached out to sent back the exact same (gmail) request for reference and held firm on the required 2. not sure what I'm supposed to do.
I'm just getting back into the hobby after taking time away because of COVID. I've seen a couple of other post about the struggles some hobbyist are having getting back into the "SWING" of things because of their time away. I'm looking for a little guidance form both providers and hobbyist here..... I've reached out to a couple of providers letting them know I would like to connect and that I've been away for some time. I do let them know that I'm Whitelisted here in TER. I've received feedback that since my Whitelist is a few years old they seem to want some personal info (i.e. real name, place of employment and even a photo of my drivers license.)
Now I totally get screening, and the desire for safety, but sorry I'm not going to give out my personal info. Just ain't happening. I also realize that a provider is entitled to their SOP when it comes to dealing with clients. Again, the major attraction for me for participating in the hobby is anonymity.
So, any suggestions how I can get back into the hobby full time? I will be asking providers that I have connected with you vouch for me, but what more can/should I do?
Thanks in advance & Be Safe!
Buck
Contact some you have seen before especially those that whitelisted you
May flex their rules on time and see you if they remember you.
Would think a review from even one of some of those would break a lot of barriers to reentry
Good luck and only give up what you are comfortable with as providers will be doing the same.
Someone is selling and someone is buying.
I'm in the same boat. Just getting back in... Haven't seen but a few providers in years and those aren't providing references. seems every review is for someone on ME and there's apparently no getting around the 2 reference rule
Does ME require Two references? If I'm lucky enough to ever hear back from them I've given them my one and only reference then never get another response from them.
every one I've reached out to sent back the exact same (gmail) request for reference and held firm on the required 2. not sure what I'm supposed to do.
Agree with Ranger. Contact a couple of your recent white listers and see if interested in appointment or being a reference. And check PM's.
If you are on P411, you may find it a little easier going there, particularly if there are one or more ladies you have seen that are on it.
There's no sugar-coating it... you really are stuck between a rock and a hard place. While I empathize with your position, you really only have five options:
1. Reach out to providers you have seen and see if they'd be willing to see you again IF they remember you
2. Keep it moving' - if you're not willing to give up some information then keep looking until you find someone who doesn't require it
3. Get verified on P411 by giving them your information - however please note that P411 has had it's own issues. Even though a good number of clients swear up and down it's the safest platform, P411 has a history of being infiltrated by LE AND of clients sharing accounts (i.e. a provider things Client A is showing up but it's really Client B)
OR... and I want you to brace yourself for this shred of truth...
4. We don't care how important a person is - we only care that you make us feel safe enough to spend time with you one on one where you will have private access to our person. And if it's THAT serious, that's what NDA's are for (non-disclosure agreements). That said, take the plunge and give your info to a reputable, verifiable companion and for your particular situation, preferably someone who is on TER/P411. And there are SOOOOOO many in the Twin Cities that I know would guard your information. I get that you are worried about you privacy and/or potential blackmail. I also thoroughly understand that there are some deranged people out there but most reputable providers run a legitimate business and shady business does nothing but hurt our credibility. Unfortunately, there is very little wiggle room here as no middle ground exists without compromise and so long as sex work is criminalized and stigmatized you need to be willing to meet us halfway.
If your tolerance to risk is that intolerable, you also have the 5th option... do not see escorts.
The Group on ME , There may be 2, that everyone is referring to takes only recently seen provider email reference's.
Nothing else, not even P411, at this time. This was the answer I was given a couple of weeks ago when I check on my request to see one of there providers.
The only thing you can do is set up a couple of session via email with providers that are reference friendly and that's no guarantee.
NDAs are contracts, which are not enforceable when covering illegal activity.
Correct, just like there is no guaranteed enforceable confidentiality agreements backed up by a kiss on the cheek and a pat on the ass as you exit the door, whether a John or hooker.
I've only been contracted out for my time. What are you doing?
Since a dispute would be in civil court with no criminal prosecution possible, contracts that have illegal elements would probably not be enforced, and it would be to the advantage of who ever is disputing the contract to claim an illegal component, since there would be no real fear of prosecution in the civil court.
At a certain point the legal mumbo jumbo , creative writing of , it’s time being compensated for. Just doesn’t pass the common sense factor with people.
More than on hooker or John has used that argument and came out on losing end . Even if they never got down and dirty. They all claim that , sucking and. fucking just was a coincidence .
So a client and a provider sign an NDA so the client will give his personal information (name, etc) to the provider. Later for whatever reason she outs him, revealing to his family, friends, etc that he sees providers. He takes her to court over the NDA. Having already admitted to engaging in an illegal activity, it's too late to resort to trying to resort the money was for time only and as an illegal activity has been admitted to, the NDA is not enforceable.
Furthermore, the cat is already out of the bag. Even if somehow the NDA gets enforced that does not change the fact that his life has likely been tossed into chaos.
You may not want to believe this but there are providers who will do and have done this sort of thing. Probably not all that many but it's not like they are necessarily easy to identify in advance.
It's also a two way street; a client can use her identity to cause trouble for the provider.
I agree with Paige. Pick a reputable provider and give her the information that is required. That is what I recently did .
Do the same thing you did and we all did a few years ago when we started. Pay for their time or nothing
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