Some of you gentlemen complain that providers don't return phone calls.

Granted, there are some that hardly ever do...

BUT, there are some of us that don't because we don't know if we should.

I had a vm that said: "Hi, I saw your ad.  This is Joe Blow at xxxxxx wondering if you're available."

How long is too long after a call, to return your call?

My website says "I will not return your call unless instructed to."  I was chewed out royally once for doing so, and that was 30 minutes after a vm message. It really sucked!

Sometimes it is a lot longer than that, yes.  We have a life outside providing too.

Some of us really want to please you, and try to play by your rules, but please help us out!

Yeah, I'm frustrated right now.  I'm sick of reading that providers never return calls, then get some with no instructions, wondering if I return it, will I get him in trouble?

I think this has been discussed before, but it's probably time to do it again.

Thanks for letting me vent.  GGrrrrr!

Maybe you ladies should jump in here too?

Thoughts please.

Hugs,
D.

I try to return phone calls only when I know a gentleman expects me to (if he gives me a timeline to return his call or if he has given me the okay to call anytime as a few have) OR in some rare instances if I can return the call within a few minutes.   This is one reason why it is important to have a hobby phone.

I always return messages same day unless instructed not to.  If I get VM I leave a non-descript message that could be dismissed as a wrong number easily.  Like "This is Yasodhara.  My number is xxxxx."  There's only been a couple of times that the person I was calling was annoyed because it was a bad time. But how hard is it to say "Wrong number" and hang up?  I wouldn't be offended.

I would prefer that you never call me back unless I leave instructions to the contrary. If, however, you did I could always say sorry wrong number.

-- Modified on 9/18/2009 11:27:04 AM

for initial contact. I always plan ahead. I know that's not an option for some guys, but that's just the way it is in my little fantasy world. After the initial contact is made, and we've decided on a day and time, then we can determine when would be a good time to make a phone call. It usually works out pretty well.

When a lady answers the phone it would be nice to hear "This is Joe Blow, I found your info on ???, and I would like to set up a time to meet you".  Rather than an abrupt "Are you available tonite?".  For safety reasons I need to know who I'm speaking with before I answer any questions.  I do prefer contact by email first, but I understand that sometimes that's not possible.  I will not return a phone call unless the message tells me specifically to do so and what time is okay.  Put a little thought into it guys, and we'll all have more fun!

-- Modified on 9/18/2009 11:39:52 AM

If you have time to look at TER, you can set up a hobby email address.  I can control when I look at that email.  I have missed out on some great women because they only accept appointments by phone.

After everything is set, you can text prior to an appointment if things change that day. Texts are more private and you can look at one in front of anyone and blame someone else for the text before you delete it. It is best to send a test text to see if texts are OK.

I only use the phone when I am in route to an appointment. I never want calls from providers as I don't know who I will be with when I get them.

The wrong number thing may not work if this is how the call goes down:

Riley: Hello, this is "My real name"

Deep Throat Dolly: Hey is this Riley? What's up baby I have a smoking hot special today.

Riley (puzzled look comes across face, then a look of surprise and then annoyance. All the while Riley's SO is watching and wondering what is up): Uh, no this isn't Ril... I mean you have the wrong number, sorry, good bye.

Riley's SO: What was that and who is Rile? You sure hung up fast, that was pretty rude for a wrong number. You sure have been acting strange lately and I think you're spending too much money.

Riley: Let's go to the Mega Mall and I'll buy you some new shoes, a winter coat and dinner. Didn't you say that your mother wanted to come visit this winter for a month?

I will say this I will leave my phone number and also if I can be called back and until what time.  

My question is if you don't hear back, how soon is too soon to call back and how often without seeming like a stalker?

It would have been nice if you had returned my last e-mail. Because you did not, I assumed that you didn't want to see me and went elsewhere.

I like to think that I'm clued in and when I leave a VM for a provider I always say, "This is my private cell phone and you are welcome to call me back at any time." Those who know me, know my story and understand that there would be no problem calling me back hours later or even the next day.

Wow.  I would never say something like that.  It's funny though.  However the communication comes in I usually get a vibe about what to do in response.  And yes, if I get a VM from someone I know and it's been a few hours I'd probably send an email back.

Personally, I feel that if a hobbiest leaves requests a call back and doesn't  give specific call back instructions then anytime is fine.

However, if they leave a message without explicitly asking for a call back then you should not return the call.

What is even worse are providers who call back simply by seeing they had a missed call on their phone and don't even bother to see if they were left a message requesting a call back.

If I didn't leave a message there was a reason for it.

You know, in reading all of this I have to say I don't have hard and fast rules about every communication that comes my way.  It depends on what is said literally, what I gather to be happening, whether the client is new or someone I know.  I prefer to do my scheduling over the phone because it's faster and easier that way.  

And don't forget, Mercury is in retrograde right now.

I have a hobby only disposable and a hobby only email address.  I state this in any first contact and say a response any time is ok.  I will usually leave a time that I would be available by phone unless they dont mind leaving a voicemail since I do not always carry and have my hobby phone turned on.

That said I prefer email for first contact and if I dont get a response back, I generally never make a second attempt as I find it completely rude to not respond, even if to say busy, no thanks or something.  If I leave my email that says it is safe any time, I figure if I dont get a response back they dont want to see me and I move on....the pond is huge and the women with class and manners a plenty!

Then there are those ladies like you D that demand in their actions a second and more trips back just to live out the fantasies of a lifetime!  Thanks for being you and rockin' my world more than once hun!

Great topic....never seems to be enough communication on how to act accordingly and play safe while having the time of our lives.

One down D and 15 more to go.........Vikes 40 Lions 10 on Sunday.  You just know special teams is going to give up 1 TD! Grrrrr

the very act of leaving someone a message implies that you want a response. As far as I am concerned the hobbiest should be expected to leave specific instructions such as call be if you get this before X o clock or call me whenever. Leaving a message without stating what action you want the recipient to take seems like it does not really deserve a response.

Kope,
Some gentlemen will call back several times in a row back to back!  Please do not do this!  Sometimes we are occupied doing other things.  Contrary to popular opinion, we do not sit on our phones waiting for guys to call us.  Many of us have personal lives..some have "real" jobs, some are college students, have kids, have pets, run errands, go to the gym, hang with friends, have job interviews, other appointments, etc.  Generally, if we do not answer the first time, we are not going to answer 10 seconds later and 10 seconds after that and 10 seconds after that either!!!

If you do not recieve a call back within an hour or two, I would say to try one last time.  If your call still goes to voice mail and you are looking for a same day appointment, I would suggest you try a different lady.  I would not leave a second message either.

Hope that helps!
Hugs, Belinda

I'm sure it differs with each provider, as we each check our vm and email at different intervals. (It depends on what's happening that day.)

For me, I don't mind a call back in an hour or so.

Any other thoughts?

Hugs,
D.

Um......I did honey.  I will resend and you can check the date.  You did not return mine.  Unless I missed a reply, which could have very well happened. Things DO happen.

I assumed that you did not want to see me and went elsewhere.

Thank you for doing this publicly, btw.

Hugs,
D.

If I give my number like you describe, then it is OK to call.  The only thing I ask is that if I can't answer when you call and have to leave a message, make it sound professional.  (Like it was a call about my dentist appointment or something).  Avoid terms like "date, incall, outcall, escort, etc.  As for the time frame, well that depends on how soon the customer is looking for an appointment.  1/2 hour in your example sounds more than a fair time to respond to a call.  
I generally plan a few days in advance, and would expect a call back within 24 hours.  
If I was looking for something right away, I would say that in the message.  Then I would still allow a reasonable time (couple of hours) for a reply.

Excellent topic, D! I didn't realize, from the provider's perspective, why she might not call back.
Ya learn sumthin' every day!

The very first provider I ever met with called me back on my cell phone a week later and left a message, "Hi, this is So-and-So, and we met last week, and I just wanted you to know I'll be hosting incall at a hotel this Friday and I have special for $150."

Just that week I had bequeathed that very cell phone to one of my kids because I got a new one.

Kid says, "Uh, Dad, I think you got a message. . . ."

Speak slowly on the phone  please...
understand English for me is not so simple, I speak Portuguese !
Mariana brazilian nurse

I answer my emails religiously, but I never call somebody back.  I have always thought that if someone took the time to call me because they wanted to see me, they would call me again sometime.  Also, I don't mind if someone calls me back to back, over and over again...  when I want to talk to them I'll get around to answering the phone.  If I don't want to talk to them, I turn my ringer off until they are done with their pursuit.  No big deal really for me.
I don't think that someone is considered a stalker unless they specifically have been asked not to call.  So... if you're a hobbyist...  don't hesitate to call if you want to talk to me.  If I answer the phone it means I want to talk to you too.  : )  
But, even if you leave a call back number and a time to call you back, I won't.  I don't like playing phone tag and besides... You'll call again sometime.......

You do not return the phone call unless the guy as said it is ok... or he has given you a window of time to call... plain and simple it really is that easy?

That would be wonderful!  I wish everyone would do that!

Will everyone abide by that rule though?

I don't think so.  Everyone has a different rule.  THAT is where the problem is!  We try to keep everyone happy, but, it can't be done.

If we play by that rule, you get the guys posting like the one in my OP, that providers never call back.

I wish it were that simple!

Thank you everybody for the input.  We need to keep the communication lines open.

Hugs,
D.

I definitely prefer email for the initial contact also.  It's so much easier, for me anyway.

I really love it when you guys plan ahead too.  I do realize that last minute things pop up *grin* once in a while, but for the most part planning ahead is best.

Hugs,
D.

I think everyone should know NOT to call missed calls.  That's just a no-no.

Maybe by reading this they will know it now?

Common courtesy goes a long ways--both ways.

Hugs,
D.

OMG!  I'm so sorry that happened to you!

Unsolicited calls from providers, in my opinion is another no-no.

I'm sure I'm not gonna win any popularity contests after this thread, but come on, use your heads!  Reverse the situation and see how you'd like it....

We need to use discretion.  Most ads say we practice it.  Advertise on the boards or wherever.  Don't call unless instructed to.  Read what happens!

Just my .02, for whatever it's worth these days.

Hugs,
D.

I did forget to add that if they have just said it is ok to call anytime...

But I think you are talking about the gals that just don't return calls and that is a completely different subject. I have know a lot of women that never return messages plain and simple. They will either see that a person they know as called and just return the call or they only work with txt messaging and never listen to VM...
I think that changes a bit if they are really looking for some work and then you may just get lucky.

Yep you are right it is a confusing thing