Yes, BBBJ is offered by many providers, some of whom advertise "GFE".  But many others offer CBJs with their GFE. It's possible to search on BJ type in profiles if you have full VIP, and that would give you some idea of how many do each, and who does what.

As you said, each provider must set her personal boundaries. If you're not comfortable with BBBJs, don't do 'em, plain and simple. You won't get clients who just gotta have a BBBJ, but there's lots of guys (me included) who are just fine with CBJs. But keep in mind everyone's definition of "GFE" is different. For me, for example, DFK is really important for GFE.... even moreso than the BJ. Although I won't turn that down!  

-- Modified on 1/18/2014 8:34:25 PM

with doing. If you start offering a service you are not comfortable with, it will be noticeable during a date and both you and the client will be unhappy.

My personal definition of GFE is DFK, BBBJ and FS at a minimum and that is what the top shelf providers offer. Of course other attributes such as looks, personality, chemistry are factors as well.

I very rarely see providers that do not offer a complete GFE experience. If I do, DFK and FS are deal breakers

For me the acronym GFE implies a certain level of experience that includes: cuddling, kissing, conversation, and passion, although as for specific activities I've always defered to the P411 definition that sets the baseline for GFE at BBBJ, DFK, DATY, and MSOG.  
To answer your questions,  
A. Most providers I've seen who advertise GFE include BBBJ as part of their menu.
B. There's a line?

Having seen you Kim, I have no problem with CBJ's or any of your skills. Go with what you are comfortable with. If you are not comfortable with BBBJ it will show in your performance, and that to me is far more important than if there is a sheath on or off.

When I started in MN in October, another provider suggested some of the "norms" that she follows. I guess I accepted her opinion as sacrosanct(a rare occasion for me!).

Here were 2 things she said:
A. Always do CBJ, never BBBJ.
B. She doesn't do DFK and suggested that I don't either.

Those two things stuck with me, in addition to her safety tips.

Either I have been foxed, or she really thinks this is a norm. Unfortunately, I think the former option is most likely the case because she has been around for a good amount of time.  

So.... I will review all the feedback and go from there! Thanks, everyone, for taking the time to give me some hobby insight!!

My 2 cents is this. A GFE is a Girl Friend Experience, this means an experience like a girl friend. I have with girl friends only had dfk and bbbj. One night stands are different than girlfriends and may have more restrictions but GFE is a Girlfriend like experience.

In my short time in the hobby, I have had only one GFE, in actual feeling, but I have been fucked by a lot by skilled women. The sole GFE did not include a BJ or FS. It was, and continues to be, an intimate experience with kissing, LFK, body exploration and being together. An off the clock invitation to make out really adds to the GFE.  

I agree that I have never had a GF put a cover on me for a BJ. It just isn't done. With that said, I would not go to the islands with a GF, but I will with a provider.

pretty much nailed it about what he (and a high percentage of hobbyists) EXPECTS for a $$$ hour escort who is advertising GFE. Unless you are uncomfortable with dfk and bbbj, think seriously about upgrading your menu.  Sensual DFK is even more important than bbbj.  Kissing is an erotic art that builds the intimacy that many seek.  At $300 there is an expectation of more intimate experience- hence the term GFE-

Listen to him- he is very experienced, and on this issue, speaks for many of us.

As you are only 20, it appears you are doing many things quite well especially for your tender years. The board can be your friend if approached like you did on this post.  You show a maturity beyond your years.

And, I do believe you need a new rabbi, mentor or guide to maximize your time invested.  I do believe you have a gut feeling of which way to go.

I highly suggest whatever you do, do it well. And from your reviews it shows you do. I like the fact that every provider out there has unique talent.  

To answer your questions:
I rarely get offered BBBJs. Some providers have the ability to get me close to popping without oral or sex. They just plain....know what they are doing with cuddling and touching.

I like it when I know the rules or the provider gently pulls my hand away etc. But I draw the line at safe covered sex... period.

I see lots of answers to your first question, Kim, but I'm not sure I understand the second one fully, so I don't know if anyone has answered that for you.  If you're referring to BBBJ only, you may be asking whether it's to completion or not.  Speaking solely for myself, an incomplete BBBJ is fun, but I also find CIM to be the very best finish I can have.  To be honest, it's freakin' glorious.   So, Im normally screening for providers who offer that when I do a search.

If you're asking where I draw the line with other activities, I would never do FS without a cover, and I'd never advise anyone to do that.  In fact, I'd never want to see a provider who does - it's just way too risky.

As others have said, I hope you do keep your boundaries set where you remain comfortable.  If you're like me, that sometimes means my original boundaries remain in place, at other times it means that as I learn and experience more I learn I can expand them.  

Finally, I'm not clear about how the conversations started when you were told that other providers offered BBBJ.  If they were surprised to learn you didn't, then that's on them.  It's normally  not too hard to figure out what's offered if you do a little research before asking for a date.  If it was just in conversation or something you brought up, then it makes more sense to me.

I had asked the same question not so long ago, and for me it got a little messy, here's why you should follow YOUR gut.

I have always wanted to offer BBBJ but didn't for one reason or another, i then said hell, this is what i want so i posted in my ad that my menu had changed and Twitter. Big mistake clearly on my part, but ehh people mess up we're all human..Moving on

So my menus changed and no business at all, I'm thinking hmm.... so i give it a little more and, silence. I thought hmm maybe i get more business CBJ so i changed it. Little did i know it was slow for a ton of girls at that time. I didn't give it time.

 A lot more went on  rude emails etc, but I'm moving on from that.. Kinda starting myself over per se last week. I'm now offering what makes me happy and haven't said a word about any changes..  

 
My point, do what YOU are comfortable with, there are provider's out there that do very well and are comfortable with what they offer and their reviews show that.

We get it, its about being comfortable. If my gf wanted to put a condom on my dick before giving me a bj, I'd question why. I think we all know what gfe is in the real sense. If provider isn't comfortable doing some of those things, then they shouldn't promote themselves as gfe.

Easy answer and no grey area.

The REAL definition of GFE

"GFE = Girl Friend Experience:
This means she will behave like a girlfriend.  Generally, this starts with her demanding that you take out the trash, then she will demand to know where you have been all day long, then she will find something else completely random to complain about, and like how her younger sister is pregnant, and you haven't popped the big question, and her biological clock is ticking.   You know... typical girlfriend stuff."  

 
I will only take half credit for the humor as I saw this elsewhere

that no "one" thing can make or break a mind blowing GF Experience. For me, it's not that "special thing" that she does, or that "one thing" that I do, but ... EVERYTHING that we do "together" ... that makes me seek out my ATF every other day.    I think this type of boyfriend / girlfriend relationship takes time ... usually many visits to blossom.

Maybe there should be a new category such as : GFE - Potential or GFE - Friendly, because certainly you can't expect anything substantially real to develop in a visit or two.  

Hold on ... to be clear ... I do think a more superficial "realistic" GF Experience is very possible in a single visit. However, I can tell the difference and would rather partake in a longer, deeper ... growth pattern, if you will. Everyone has different criteria and expectations. I certainly don't pretend to speak for anyone but myself.

With all that being said ... I do worship the BBBJ. Fucking hypocrite ... I know.

Nutzo

-- Modified on 1/19/2014 12:36:14 PM

At your price point, almost all the providers are offering DFK and BBBJ. You can scan the reviews to verify. I always took it as a sign of your talents that you were so popular despite your more-limited menu. Offer what you like, but yes, adding those two things to your menu would very likely increase your client base.  

Posted By: kimcorruttela

Guys,  
 I am a new provider and am still feeling out the ropes. I've been hearing varying definitions of GFE. I don't like to disappoint, but also know that each girl must set personal boundaries. I've heard from a few guys BBBJ is offered from certain providers.  
 So...  
 A. Is BBBJ common?  
 B. Where do you guys feel comfortable drawing the line(if at all)?  
   
 I'm sure I'll think of more things as time goes on.

We can all agree that Kimberly should only offer those services that she feels comfortable in providing, and I am pleased with the time we shared together and look forward to seeing her again. But let’s take Kimberly out of the equation and consider “Reasonable Expectations”.  

With most services in this hobby (or business in general) there is a reasonable expectation for what we are purchasing. When a provider offers FS, DIY, HJ, etc. we have a reasonable expectation on what we have agreed to pay for. Likewise when a client pays for an hour he expects to be closing the door behind him in 60-minutes and not 35-minutes.  

The term GFE on the other hand gets abused, twisted and altered, most often by providers to reflect the services they offer. Phrases like “GFE light”, “GFE safe” and “Full GFE” only serve to further muddy the waters.  

Is there a safety concern when a client pays for what he believes GFE is, and the provider delivers something other than that expectation?  

Not all clients will have VIP access to discern the details of a providers past reviews, and unless they are listed elsewhere (i.e. web site, P411 listing, etc.), it leaves a grey area of individual interpretation, and could easily escalate into hard feelings between the client and the provider during the session.  

Does price point play a role in what “Reasonable Expectations” are? If a provider offers GFE at $ an hour, is the expectation less than those who offer GFE at $$$ an hour?  

Personally, I hate the term GFE as it tends to be abused so readily, and often does little to fully disclose what services are offered. BBBJ is not a deal breaker for me, but I have never had a girlfriend that refused to kiss, LFK, and to some degree DFK, as it seems a somewhat necessary part of the “Girl Friend Experience"

First and foremost like everyone said only do what you are comfortable with and what you want to do.  This is your business.

That said ...  

If you are asking because you want your services to reflex your advertising and you don't plan on changing anything, then take out GFE from your profiles and ads.  In reading these responses and many other threads about this subject, two services are generally expected dfk and bbbj ... but at minimum one should be offered. IMO dfk is probably expected more.  

If you are asking because you are considering changing some services and you mostly based your services on what one provider told you, then kudos to you for asking and as one person said you showed quite a bit of maturity in asking in this post. Your friend was giving you advice based on her experience and was trying to help you which is commenable. However, there are other perspectives and Imo or in my experience ... There are basely 2 types of providers. Read below if you care to know my thoughts on that.

Lastly, this a question to you AND others ... Why would someone offer (allow) daty without protection yet don't offer (refuse) a bbbj? Both have very similar risks and some would even argue that daty is more risky.

IME (in my experience) I have noticed two basic types of web based providers ... I will call them, for lack of better terms, backpagers (group 1) and eroticreviewers (group 2). Your friend may have learned some techniques from backpagers.  They tend to offer less and expect more, they can be known for deception and ripping off, screening is virtually non existent, they are basically not looked upon positively and have bad practices. Eroticreviewers on the other hand tend to be respected more, hobbyist walk in with a good idea about what to expect, screening is accepted and expected, and hopefully do have better practices. I say this because I started out as a backpager and was taught the "wrong" ways to provide. I didn't like that way and changed how I handled things. I became a eroticreviewer before I even found TER.  Many of us on ter still use backpage and there are tons of greatgreat providers on there as well ... Not attacking them just notice a difference in how we all approach providing and business habits. I truly apologize if I have offended anyone. That was not my intent. Just stating why there may be a difference in what your friend told you about the hobby and what I've learned here on TER. In lookinh at your great reviews I consider you an eroticreviewer who is trying to do the right thing for yourself, your business, and others. Whatever you take from this is sure to reflect positively in your business.  

-- Modified on 1/19/2014 2:06:07 PM

-- Modified on 1/19/2014 2:08:14 PM

My thoughts

When I am looking at your question and other responses, it seems to me the question that needs to be answered is what is GFE? In my 3 years in this hobby, I have learned that no 2 people have the same definition. For me, GFE is NOT someone telling me to take the trash out (LOL) but someone that is taking the time to get to know me and doing it passionately. Nothing worse than a lady that just lays there or just goes through the motions. As a client, I know the passion is fake but makes the session much more memorable. I only want what the provider is comfortable with; however, what the provider does needs to be done with passion. Hope this makes sense.

1)  If you don't have this already, get the full VIP membership.  This allows you to see all the reviews and gives a lot of information about what different escorts offer and what their rates are.  Being able to make comparisons between what others do and what you do can help you decide what, if any, changes you want to make to your own practices.

2)  As others have noted, most escorts, but not all, at the $300 rate do offer BBBJ.  And many guys expect when they see a provider describing themselves as GFE, that BBBJ is included.  Whether or not you do anything about that is your call but it is something of which you should be aware.  Unfortunately, GFE has become a very abused term and not a few providers definition of it seems to be that whatever they offer is what GFE is even if they specialize in short quickies with the objective of getting their clients off with the minimum amount of effort as quickly as possible.

3)  Whatever you choose to do is not set in stone.  You are free to change your mind based on your experiences.  You may decide to make a change and then decide later that it was a mistake.  You may decide as you get more experienced that you are comfortable doing certain things that you weren't initially comfortable with.  There is no one right answer for how you should run your business.

Lots of passionate kissing is a very big part of the GFE. You do a good job with a CBJ but there is nothing the feeling of soft lips and warm wet tongue working intently on giving pleasure. I know I would welcome both kissing and a BBBJ during time spent with you but only if you feel comfortable doing them. It would big dissapointment if you lost any of the energy and enthusiasm you bring to a session because you were doing something you wern't comfortable doing.

For me GFE means a real illusion of attraction and serious kissing.

CBJ and BBBJ are safety issues that are very personal for each person and while I would imaging a girlfriend would never use cover, this is not really a girlfriend, it is a Girlfriend Experience.

Just my thoughts.

Good responses so far. For what it's worth, I've seen some providers use GFE but explain what it means to them -- being playful, affectionate, genuine and passionate. They'll clearly state that everything is covered but that's for everyone's safety and is what allows them to really let loose.

I'd argue that is better than GFE** with footnotes:
* Everything is covered
** LFK but DFK will depend

Will it limit your market some? Probably, but that is better than getting a series of negative or mixed reviews. It sounds like you are a fantastic provider where the only negatives would come from misunderstandings or unrealistic expectations so keep a good thing going and disclose up front

Great questions!  I think that the key attribute of GFE has to do with the attitude of the provider.  If a provider advertises GFE, then I expect that they will do everything they can to make the encounter seem less like a transaction than like a fuck session with a girlfriend.  In other words, the provider should be happy to see the gentleman, should be enthusiastic about what is going to happen, should make the gentleman feel appreciated, should have the posture that she really WANTS this encounter.  

I would also say, however, that DFK is a baseline requirement of GFE, for all of the reasons others have already mentioned.

As for the bbbj, it is common for bbbj to be offered as part of GFE at your price point, with (in my estimation) a few providers not allowing CIM, most providers offering CIM but spit, and some providers offering the swallow.  In my experience, the providers that offer the swallow happen to be the top providers in the category; but that's not JUST because they offer the swallow.

If you choose to continue advertising GFE and at your current rate but not offering bbbj, just understand that there are lots of gentlemen for whom bbbj is the main requirement of their desired encounter with a provider.  That may be for a whole host of reasons -- condoms make them lose the hard on; they are older and bbbj is the only thing that gets them off; or bbbj is simply the single most pleasurable sexual experience they can have, and if they are going to take the risks involved with the hobby, they are going to ensure that they experience that particular act.  So what I'm saying is that I guarantee that your client base will represent only some percentage of hobbyists who are interested in GFE providers at your price point.  I don't know what that percentage is -- just guessing, I'd say 50% might be close.  

Totally your choice, of course, but it's definitely true that not offering the bbbj limits the gentlemen who are interested.

Good luck and stay safe!

I only see bbj ladies, no offense, just me.

To me, GFE is a kind of over-worked term.  For me it's not about specific activities, but about the atmosphere, the attitude.  I often point to Trinity as an example...  limited menu, and yet, her soul is filled with an honest need to nurture you and love on you.  Totally GFE.

I read your review where there was almost no kissing, which, you have wonderfully come here to ask about and explain.  As other have said, for me, cuddly kissing, skin contact, roaming hands...  These are the things I live for and the things I can't do without.  Even if I am seeing a pretty wild PSE type of provider, kissing is still very much at the core of it.  I can't imagine seeing someone at 300 and not having lots of affectionate kissing.  And for what it's worth, I am in that tiny, tiny minority that doesn't go crazy over DFK.  The make-out sessions that have just left me trembling and weak-kneed are usually soft breathy kisses, not tonsil assaults.

Just remember what I have said in other threads...  what you charge does a lot to set expectations, and starting out new in the biz at 300 is going to set the bar for you very high...  Higher than you may want it to be until you get more experience and more reviews.