so impressed Hotchaa- there can always be a beginning no matter how much time has passed...kudo's to you! J.xxox
This is a serious question and would really like to know your reason/logic for your action
I wouldn't be able to if attached. (Unless it's an open/swinger type relationship)
Although I haven't participated in over a year, I was quite active for several months prior. I was, and still am married, and I would say happily. My wife is beautiful and sex has never been an issue. I took the plunge on a trip once, and became hooked. I think the "excitement" and clandestine nature of it was an adrenaline rush.
I'm contemplating getting back into it.
I am married. Its funny, I've never cheated on anyone in my past but I have with my wife. I'm in a very unhappy marrage... I can't remember the last time we had sex and when we do have sex she is in so much pain, for what reason we are unsure, that I don't/can't finish. She doesn't believe in using her hand or bj's so I'm always left hangin. Im not big, average at best, but I just can't force her to let me finish....I know, i k m ow theres always the butt, but I know she wouldn't and I'm not sure if I am into the butt. I really don't feel guilty about it, some times I feel I should, but I don't.
I started the hobby because I was looking to just get a message by a beautiful naked women. I was never expecting anything from her, I just wanted the attention, the touching and the affection.
I wanted to feel wanted, needed and to be loved, even if its just for an hour or two.
Hope that answers your question.
P.S. I also know I can get a divorce...we're getting closer every day.
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Except for the "butt" part.
It's difficult for me to begin to imagine attempting to make love with someone who sees it as a source of agony. In regards to anal: if vaginal intercourse is painful for her, anal may not be much different if its even an option. It doesn't sound as though it is. As much as I enjoy sex, I am not interested in anal penetration whatsoever; it has in the past been a source of pain for me so I call it a "danger zone." but you never know you can always ask her how she feels about it.
It sounds as though sex is the least of your marriage problems though, it is sad. It is easy to see why you seek companionship for intimacy needs alone.
Whether gentlemen are married or not, your post reaffirms what I say about the hobby- sex, in my experience, is really just a small piece of it. To know that I can meet both sexual and emotional needs of my friends is so satisfying to me.
Thank you for sharing. It was very personal, and I wish you the best.
Peace,
Astri
Ditto. I never knew my wife had a twin....I feel your pain and have all of that in common.
To quote her:"why can't you be happy just being a dad? Why do we have to do that anymore? Can't you just watch a movie and do it yourself?" Does not kiss me, hug me, hold me, sleep with me or even hold hands. She is hostile to me, so i at least have that.. So, yeah....I need the attention but, my attachment becomes so intense that it is almost like a bad hangover the next day. This is toughest part of the hobby for me.
My 2nd marriage and I'm not in love.... don't think I ever was. Ironically, my first wife and I still truly love one another.... ironic.
The hobby started for me fairly recently and it was for sex. Now it's more... I enjoy the companionship... and sex
I partake while traveling for work in massages that end with a handjob. The reason is that it feels good and I love beautiful women.
This question smacks ever so slightly of righteousness ... never mind.
I am married as well. My wife loves being a mom and together we enjoy parenting, but sport in the bedroom ended years ago. Sincerely, I mean years. Recently, while discussing the subject of sex, she announced that she considers herself ... retired. Well that did it for me. It took a couple months of fumbling around but finally I discovered TER. I have been Hobbying like a mad fool ever since.
There are a few providers who actually know this about me ... but I got into this hobby as a way to re-learn and practice what has long ago withered away from lack of use. After approx. 25 visits, I can honestly say, I'm not such a terrible lover anymore. There have been other benefits as well ... I've lost 22 pounds and I am much more confident then I was before. Also, I have made a couple of good friends whose companionship I treasure.
In just a few years my daughter will be off to college. My wife and I have an understanding that things will reshuffle at that point. She knows that I am "getting it" somewhere else, but never speaks of it.
So there it is. I can't believe I out-ed myself again.
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-- Modified on 12/19/2013 3:42:53 PM
Your story is common and one that I love. I call my sessions "vitamin 'x'" whether a single dose or multiple doses to simply nourish this aspect of oneself is healthy and a way to keep both physically and emotionally healthy when friendship, connection, knowing, sharing, companionship is arrived to for me it is no longer a matter of fidelity but a way of nourishing and being nourished.
It is so wonderful when many good men become healthier and stronger and fitter, more confident as do many of the women. That is the best part of this hobby.
Thank you for outing yourself again nutzompl
So part one of this thread was: Raise your hand if you're married ... blah, blah, blah.
Part two: What's the logic behind your actions?
Simple, I want to be a better fuck, so that someday, when I'm back in the field I can keep up with my new Russian wife ! Meanwhile I'm having fun learning and making friends along the way.
Yeah, it's me ... outed myself again.
I am married and I got into this because my wife suffers from dementia and our emotional, mental, and physical relationship has slowly diminished to a non-existent state. While she and I share the same spaces she is not the woman I married.
I have had the opportunity to meet two wonderful providers.
One I definitely felt the chemistry. Sadly because of my ever changing schedule I let that provider down way too many times, and for that I have no one to blame but myself.
The second one is a great woman and is fun to be with but I don't feel the same chemistry.
What am I looking for? Sex, yes. Emotional connection, sure. Drama, no! Regularity, yes
Yes, very similar. My wife is a saint. And I do love her. After begging for it for 39 years, I just decided to be happy w/a hand job. The intrigue, excitement of partaking in something only known by me, the satisfaction, companionship and yes the sex provides a facet to life that is too short not to enjoy the variety of the experience.
A few times I have felt a connection, but I only partake 2-3 times a year so it's tough to build any kind of relationship. At my age, without chemical enhancement, I feel lucky to be able to do this. But I don't want a sympathy f _ _ _ either. Most providers have been wonderful, if you do your homework.
I think I must have written this post. The only difference is 36 years instead of 39. I finally told her I wasn't going to beg ever again and on that facet I've kept my word. I would never divorce her simply due to the sex and she's still a terrific wife and mother, but I will get my satisfaction one way or another.
My wife and I are a good team in most respects other than sex. She faked her interest in a lot of things when we were dating, but ceased the charade after we had kids. My dissatisfaction with our sex life eventually became a major source of conflict, and my wife would smile, nod, promise to think about it and nothing would change. I finally reached a decision point. Do I divorce her and mess up my kids, do nothing and grow to hate her, or seek satisfaction elsewhere and not tell her. Hobbying seemed the least bad option. Since I started, she has commented many times on how much better our marriage has gotten. The guilt doesn't twist as deep as I had expected.
Yes!! It's gotten better because YOU are a happier MAN, because whoever you are seeing is fabulous and allowing you to be your natural, sexual self.
I enjoyed your story, it tickles me to hear the positive, healing effects of this hobby.
Peace,
& sexual healing,
Astrid
Ditto, again.
And the purpose of this serious question is? You find it easier to stalk single providers
I did not realize stalkers had a preference of relationship status. How fascinating.
Thank you, I love learning new things!
I will tell you another thing. The things I have learned about massage and sensual touch I have used extensively at home to help reignite action with my wife.
Who knows, maybe I was the lazy one.
Again, I only do massage with HJ, but those sessions with a nice 15-20 build up of sensuality have taught me how to take it slower and build excitement. It has been a positive thing for me and I now have massage oils at home that I use to give my wife massage.
Thanks everyone for your honest replies.
so impressed Hotchaa- there can always be a beginning no matter how much time has passed...kudo's to you! J.xxox
My wife is attractive, smart, funny, makes a lot of money, and loves me. We do almost everything together! I love her as well but I am obsessed with fucking other women. I have no legitimate excuses for spending tons of money, time, and effort to partake in this hobby.
I think I am a lesser person because of this. I am not as interesting or involved because much of my free time is spent in the hobby and I can't talk about that at the coffee shop can I? I really need to quit.
Enough of that, I have a review to write