As a provider who has gotten to meet many of my colleagues in the area, this idea that these (hair appointments, nail appointments, etc) are things we "would be doing regardless" is a pretty major assumption. Not all providers buy into being hyper feminine all the time, even in their real life day to day. Instead, due to the fact that we are aware that hyper femininity works for branding and business that's why we engage in it.
The reason I bring this up is because there are differences in getting a trim every few months and going to the dry bar to get your hair styled for an appointment so it's more manageable. There's a major difference in wearing tinted moisturizer and lip gloss day to day versus putting on makeup in a way that has staying power, even through all the fun, for a date. Some of us have no desire to own 3 to 4 piece lingerie sets but clients request it for dates. Some of us have no desire to wear heels and instead enjoy our chucks but clients request we wear them for dates. Some of us have no desire to get our nails done; however, due to our profession being heavily dependent on aesthetic, we know it can add to our femininity, especially if the manicure is nude, light pink, or red in color. Clients want to feel like they are in a luxurious but comfortable environment, so we rent or buy static incalls where we can curate a space to make you feel welcome and relaxed (additional furniture costs). Some providers have to acquire the hotel incall for your appointment. Then there are the supplies that we need to ensure we are on top of. Don't even get me started on the turnaround on towels and sheets. Somewhere along the line for some clients, their momma, girlfriend or wife let them think it was okay to not wash themselves, including the crack of the behind, with soap and a washcloth and instead it gets on the towels or the sheets.
Although I don't agree with your logic, if I look at it from a client POV, especially a client that isn't as privy to the inner workings on our side, I can understand where you're coming from and why you're saying it with you're whole chest.