So here's an odd situation. Back in December, I booked an appointment with a massage provider (non-FS) via an online booking service which asks for your cell number. No big deal, hobby phone and the website only mentions massage, nothing to incriminate anyone, although reviews do say she provides everything but FS.  

A day or two before the appointment in January, she cancels, mentioning that her 'bodyguard' will not be available for her 'security' so she needs to reschedule. My thought here was, OK, I would assume that you would have some kind of an arrangement for personal safety considering we had never met - but is there any reason to be quite so blatant? I found it to be pretty intimidating language, and perhaps that was the intention.  

My reaction was, and always is, to put myself in the lady's shoes (not that I wear lady's shoes) and I gave the benefit of the doubt and said sure, let's reschedule. At the back of my mind however, was the feeling that the session would not be so enjoyable knowing that there's some hired muscle listening out for anything untoward. Off-putting. But I felt that of course there's nothing to fear from me (given that I'm white-listed in particular) so tried to let it slide.  

I'm guessing many of you would have run for the hills, or am I wrong?

Anyway, yesterday it got stranger. I had an email asking to confirm if I was keeping the appointment (today) accompanied with a request for a photo of myself. For reasons I can't quite fathom, it unsettled me and really took away any idea that I would have fun - because fun is what it's all about, I think. No fun, no point.

I felt slightly bad canceling but... something was telling me that all was not as it seems. She's reviewed, so seems legit, so possibly a case of inexperience, unprofessionalism or possibly naivety?

Was I wrong to cancel? I do understand that time is precious and I don't like canceling. Maybe I'm just too easily spooked?

(Please understand that I'm not going to disclose the name of the provider in question. She didn't do anything wrong as such, and she may be awesome but has some business practices that don't sit well with me.)

If you feel uncomfortable, I'm all for canceling. It would have saved me some pain.
However,this goes both ways. I don't like no shows but canceling with a bit of notice is acceptable with me. I have had a couple of providers bail last minute.

Listen to the big head, not the little one.

Thinking there is someone waiting to pounce when you are most vulnerable is reason enough to cancel. Don't go into situations that don't feel right and you'll be around to enjoy another day.

It's comforting to know that you guys feel the same way too.

Thanks for all the input everyone I just don't want to be breaking any kind of etiquette or be an ass unnecessarily. Don't get me wrong, I don't think anyone would have actually harmed me, I think she's legit, but it seems odd to announce up front that there is security in the next room (or wherever - maybe a hidden camera? Eek!).  

I'd be interested to hear what the ladies on this board think. I do understand that security precautions can be an acceptable part of the business, but announcing them in an intimidating way and then asking for a photo just made me feel like I was being prejudged.

I recall there was a local provider who stationed her husband in the next room. From the reviews I read, the provider would introduce the client to hubby at the start of the session, then hubby would go into the next room. The reviewers didn't seem to mind, but it would register pretty high on the Weird-o-Meter to me.  

As for photo requests, I was asked for a photo, a non-nude body shot, only once, by a provider who was picky about the physiques of the guys she massaged. I thought, what the heck, and sent her a body shot. I didn't make the cut. But we had a friendly email exchange about it. I wished her good luck in her search for Mr. Rightbody.

Rather, her demand for a photograph was an attempt to impose a new, and unusual, condition at the last minute. No different than if she decided to mention the day before your appointment that her donation would be an extra $. It was entirely reasonable for you to decline. If she did not want to hear your answer at the last minute, she should have told you about the requirement earlier.  

Congratulations on arm wrestling the little head into submission.

If what you describe is true it would definitely be a cancel in my book too.  I wouldn't have bothered rescheduling in the first place.  Her email exchange with you is completely out of the norm and cause for red flags to go off left and right.  If a lady has any sort of "personal security" in place it would normally be behind the scenes and executed completely without a client noticing unless of course said client caused a problem.  Regarding the pic request, I still can't fathom what value that provides for either legit provider or legit client.  There's simply no good that will come from sending one.  Every provider runs her business uniquely according to what she's comfortable with but this mystery massage lady seems to go out of her way to discourage business.

I think part of the reasoning behind the cancellation is that I sensed a touch of reluctance (obviously not personal, how could it be) and a great deal of nervousness. My ethic in this business is a strict one of, it must be on some level enjoyable for both parties, and no reluctance or resistance. I sensed a little of that, I guess.

The situation changed significantly  - what you were going into was not what was described or expected.    Cancellation was the absolute right thing to do.  It's an odd community... from a provider perspective she needs to feel safe BUT from a client perspective we also need to feel safe.  We have the ability to look at reviews and ads to find out if it's someone we want to get to know or not.  While it may be difficult from a provider perspective to "know" who we are, the "rules" shouldn't change after scheduling.    If it is known that a photo is required up front then we can make an informed decision as to schedule an appointment or not.

Overall Good Call - surprised it wasn't called out in a review previously.

That is good advice for everyone. If you trust your intuition, you may miss the occasional gem but most of the time you just eliminate the duds.

I'm glad you asked this question too! I'm returning back to the hobby after a number of years away. All my prior providers have retired. In the past the providers I had contact with didn't ask for references nor were there screening services just id when meeting at the outcall and e-mails to set things up. Well now they want 2 references and business information, etc. This makes it difficult to reenter the hobby. I've been trying to book with a highly reviewed CMT. I'm self employed contractor so I have no need for work id cards etc. The scheduler of the CMT requested a photo id to be sent to her for screening. The reviews on this CMT never stated photos required to setup an appointment. Again being away from the hobby I thought this was the new norm but it appears to so.

+1
 

if you go far enough in her reviews and way old discussion boards supposedly the husband was not her husband after all and she started dating one of her clients and once that started she has been out of the scene (for about a year).