When I got married 25+ years ago she did and enjoyed everything on your list. About 5 years ago, she became less interested in sex of any kind. She still likes to BBBJ swallow, and still enjoys orgasms, she just does not care to enjoy sex very often. I stated to hobby when she resisted relations for over 6 months. Today she is happy with once every 2 or 3 weeks, and improvement but not enough for me.
Not sure if this is the appropriate place to ask this question but Sugar4kat's post below seemed like it might be the place. I apologize if this has been covered in previous posts. I'm wondering from the married guys on this board if they could go back and do it over what sexual traits/qualities would they loof for in their wife? Providers might have a unique perspective on this also from what they hear from their clients. I'm always wondering when i'm dating a woman if there are certain traits that would be more likely to keep me interested for the long haul like: - enjoys sex often - BBBJ - BBBJ with swallow - anal - games - iniates sex - etc.
or if it doesn't matter, she just becomes the same old cracker and you want a new cracker no matter what she does? Any experiences/thoughts would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.
When I got married 25+ years ago she did and enjoyed everything on your list. About 5 years ago, she became less interested in sex of any kind. She still likes to BBBJ swallow, and still enjoys orgasms, she just does not care to enjoy sex very often. I stated to hobby when she resisted relations for over 6 months. Today she is happy with once every 2 or 3 weeks, and improvement but not enough for me.
I've been married over 30 yrs and there is very little sex at this point. Even when we were dating, there wasn't that much sex, but everything else was a great fit. She is a great "Mom" and wife. If I had a do-over, I would make sure there was a better "sexual" fit. They WILL change - it's just a matter of how much.
There are usually several changes occuring after you are married that are unpredictable. There tends to be more rules in my experience and what I have heard from others.
Like other posters mentioned, it's all a crap shoot because of the potential (maybe I should say "likelihood"?) that the woman will change her rules and interests over time. I don't know what or how you could predict that sort of thing.
In my situation, the one trait on your list that never existed was "initiates sex". Pre-marriage and for a few years into marriage, my SO was "willing" and I was happy. However, she never initiated sex, and has never been horny, so to speak. Even a romantic evening out never would bring out a sexual spark with her. In hindsight, that should have been a red flag.
Once we had our child, the "willing" part went away, and everything else has gone south. My wife would rather spend 45 minutes arguing about sex than 10 minutes of doing it. Turning sex into a bargaining chip or an arguing point about "getting your way", etc. has served to destroy it altogether between us.
My perspective is that if you're hung up on the "menu," you're missing the point. To me, a fulfilling sexual experience or relationship is more about the vibe (no, ladies, I did NOT say "vibrator"), is more about the "chemistry," about the connection.
I'd say my SO is actually hornier than I am, defined as she initiates sex more than I do (I guess I know I don't have to because I know she will!). But she does have a few hang-ups, and very much dislikes BJs because a previous boyfriend demeaned her somehow in that connection and now she's got a mental block. But, because she likes me, she sometimes tries gamefully, but usually just ends up shaking her head after a bit and says, "I just can't." Oh, well, it's just one menu item, and there's much more on the menu.
Regarding the "same ol', same ol'." Our sex (she says, "don't call it 'sex,' call it 'lovemaking'), OK, our "lovemaking," usually follows the same general pattern, but I still seem to feel the same excitement as a teenage boy (I can't believe I'm actually touching her boobies!). OK, nevermind that, that's probably just me. . . .
Where was I going with this? I don't know. Oh, yes, back to the emotional connection. I started hobbying, oh, two years ago not because my sex at home wasn't good, but because my relationship at home wasn't good (she would tell you it was the only thing keeping us together at that point). So, again, satisfying sex is much more than the menu.
By the way, now that things are good again on both fronts, why do I still hobby? It's those damn fine bitches out there sort of got me addicted to the variety! Damn, I am such a bastard. . . .
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