i have ....... is that weird??

but I caught myself.. although the "L" sound was already out before I caught myself, I'm sure she caught it..    Ive come close a few other times as well... which from my perspective is they did a hell of a acting job for me to even consider saying it.       Then after the appointment is over and ya never hear from them brings me back to reality that it was really just a appoint after all.   Not that is a bad thing... Its prolly best to leave it business.  Although I have fantasized what it would be like if I had met them in real life, and to be casual dating!!  That is where I let my mind wonder, when in actuality I would have no shot dating them!

I'm guessing the L word means many different things to many to different people..  

To mean I love a lot of things.. Beverages, my job, etc.. also many ladies I have met here in hobby world..      However I do not Love them to marry etc...   well maybe.. except.... HA!

Real question is did she say it back??  I'm guessing no

END OF MESSAGE

Yes that is the million dollar question and if so did she mean in the same way your feeling.I think it's common for people to say things like love ya or for gals to call you love etc. Anyway I hope you got response back. I guess I would feel good and maybe think she care and values your company if she called and said she wanted to hangout with you without $ involved a sign of some real affection so far I've had no luck with that.Anyway great topic hope some providers chime in I'm sure they run into this and see how they handle it.

I think saying that is letting the provider know that you've dropped the context of your relationship with her. I can see how a provider might think it was weird, seeing as how you're disregarding an important boundary. You might be telling her it's time to start being concerned about you.

Still, I think there is a difference between the word "love" and the word "affection." There have been three or four providers I've seen during my time in the hobby that I've felt affectionate toward. I saw/have seen them many times and really like them, or at least the persona I'm meeting during an appointment.

But love is too far to go. The intimacy makes it tempting to forget that you're engaging in a business relationship, and I feel that keeping that in mind is what makes everything work.

Like others have said, there would have to be a very specific set of circumstances existent before I personally could even think about saying that, and I kind of hope those circumstances never exist for me. I'm happy with the hobby the way it is.

Though we also saw each other outside of "work" so I feel like I wasn't being a total fool with my money.

Why is that?  I love lots of people. I love my kids. I love other family members. I love my friends.  I love my co-workers... ok, I love many of my co-workers.

Why can't I love a provider, and tell her I love her?

We can love someone without being IN love with them.  We can love others without it being romantic, you-have-my-heart love.  We shouldn't be afraid to love others, and let others know we love them.

But it's important that when we express love for a person, such as a provider, with whom we've been intimate, we make sure they understand what we mean when we say "I love you."  I would never say those words to a provider unless I was first sure she knew what I meant.

Your last two paragraphs kind of prove my point. If you have to fall back on the "there's loving and then there's being IN love" line, well, I already said there was a difference between "love" and "affection."

And in your last paragraph you echo my last paragraph, that says both people have to know the context and know each other well enough to understand what is being said.

But, you know, if you want to believe you love a provider, no one can stop you from believing that. And you can feel absolutely free to tell a provider that, with or without the context we both mentioned. I think it's risky, even if both people recognize the context.

This absolutely doesn't mean I don't value the providers I've gotten close to. Quite the opposite. I'm very happy to know them and I'm glad they seem to be comfortable with me. But I don't think "love" has to or should be involved.

Under the circumstances, odds are it would alarm her.  Sure, there are providers I care a great deal about and could say I love them in a non-romantic/sexual way but that's not a conversation I've ever had.

However, we both knew it didn't involve marriage, the white picket fence, monogamy, or any of that crap.  It simply meant that we grew to care enough about each other to push the boundaries without breaking them.

but often actions speak louder, I became to close with my A.T.F. & now she won't see me. Iv'e never experienced feelings that strong for a provider before & her decision is certainly the wisest for both of us, but this a good lesson for me & other hobbyists to be aware of our feelings toward providers no matter how attracted we are.

It made me uncomfortable to say the least and stopped seeing both of them.  I am not in this business  
for a love connection.  They say I took it out of context but I just felt boundaries were blurred and felt
it best to stop seeing them both.

I always found something to like and appreciate about every hobbyist I saw and was very fond of  several  
of them but you have to draw the line in the sand and insist that line not be crossed.

Just my opinion and I am sure some will disagree but that's ok.
Belinda

+1    about 8 years ago with SG. gone, but never forgotten

If you think it, let alone say it, get the hell out.   Otherwise tears are in your future.

Same with me and my atf who is no longer in the business.

Hey thanks for all the good feedback on this.  Everybody looks at this pastime of ours a bit differently i guess. Personally im kind of a hopeless romantic - and as a disclaimer, Im in no way delusional - im 100% clear that this is a business for the ladies, and money talks, bullshit walks.  

This is ALL fantasy for me. Part of the fantasy is that the provider that im attracted to, is attracted to me too! I see mostly massage girls because i don't find bluntly paying to get laid nearly as rewarding as i do when its a climax to a personal experience that leads up to it.  Call me crazy but i like to establish a "relationship" with a provider before i attempt to take it to the next level.  Truly knowing a person (or the person the provider is letting you see) makes the act so much more rewarding for me.  Dont get me wrong, nothing wrong with a good romp with an attractive provider that just flat out loves to schtoop! But it loses something for me when that act is bought and payed for...... I guess i like the mystery, the wonder, the challenge, the courtship of the whole thing as much or more than the final act.  

And yes i know im still paying for it! So im not really rico-suave - but damnit its MY fantasy!  

Ok i admit to getting a little carried away with the fantasy - to the point of being scolded about it by my ATF.  I mean i could get away with just about anything with that girl - accidently puttin my thing in her who-ha.... pretty much whatever, just "don't tell me you love me!!" professional that she is - she felt compelled to stop mid thrust and say "well i don't feel that way about you!" -then i got the lecture about this being a business bla bla bla.  When she finally stopped i said "ARE YOU DONE?...... what i meant to say was, i LOVE YOU when you keep your mouth shut and just fuck!"  We both laughed and once we were done i told her she can't take anything i tell her literally when im up to my nuts in poon.  I think she gets it, i mean i havent seen her since but ......... :-0

Ok, i lied - i do love that girl but know its never going anywhere.  Shit, shes 1/2 my age and twice as smart.  But damn, in my mind, for an hour or two a week, that girl is my Lady - and im her fkn man!  Can that be so bad??

I have seen two older women at least twice a month for last six years. That is a lot of sessions.  Both were once well known and are now UTR and living on their old regulars.  (I also see other providers but the two are my favs and know it.  They obviously see other clients and I am relaxed about that too).  
One is married and one has a steady date.  Both are close friends at this point.  One has been two way "I love you" partner for three year.  None of our lives or marriages has crumbled.  
Sure there is money but money does not simply buy intimacy; it also reminds us of the distance called "being friends" as well.  Both are special friends.  Long may it continue.  
Remind me why there is one pattern to normal.
Polyamorous hobbyist.

I've been falling for my atf for months now, but I didn't say anything to her because I didn't want to make things awkward or get banned. And I already have a live-in girlfriend who I care about as well. I just saw my atf the other day, and it was our best session so far, but somehow my emotions shifted away from love and now it feels more like we are just close friends. It feels great, and I look forward to seeing her again.

Big difference.

Maybe so but that doesn't mean it will be taken that way by the recipient without careful phrasing.

This month is five years for me in the biz! Can you believe it?  Can you believe that I have a couple handfuls of clients that still see me and are very good friends of mine.  I have always been very good with my boundaries, and I have had MANY completely appropriate "I love you's" with many.  

Yeah, I know that is weird, but I am not so normal.  I have had some really incredible experiences with people and I have developed really great friendships over the years.  I love so many of my clients... not even as clients, though, just people that I have enjoyed coming in and out of my life... many stay in for a while, while others kinda ebb and flow with the many amazing women around this town, but there are some really incredible men out there, and I have met hundreds of them now.

😘
Trinity

That's still love.  It is just something you have to read in another.  But then, is it really necessary to ever say?  Sometimes people just need to talk THROUGH this emotion that seems like love but then there's this whole taboo.  There are some people (yours truly) that have helped many men who have shared certain sentiments of over-attachment.  It's not necessary to shame or anything by wanting to say it either.  

There are probably several who could chime in on this in agreement... and I love every one of you!

It's HOW you make people FEEL, not what you do or say.  Consider how it would make the other person feel.  

...Thanks for being you Trin if you get tired of this this message thing you would make a pretty good therapist.      & congrats on 5 years in the biz you have left lots of guys very happy.

-- Modified on 3/22/2017 8:52:57 PM

I'm just a very all-encompassing one

Wondering why bother with the GF who lives with you, if you only "care" about her. Paying other women for affection? Yeah, you really care about her, don't you?! Is it because deep down you know the "love" you claim to feel for the woman you pay to touch you, isn't reciprocated? Because, as others have stated...they say it to a lot of people? Bottom line, it's business. If you're a great actress, you're business will blossom. (Just ask the old retired SG, she told EVERYONE she loved them, and other crazy things to get her high ratings. She was the ultimate shady lady. Good riddance.) It's what guys want. The fantasy of a sex goddess loving him. Meanwhile, the one who actually loves you, is getting the shaft....or should I say, isn't getting your shaft! Be nice and give your GF a real chance of finding a man who actually gives a shit about her and treats her with loyalty and respect. Love from a hooker. Haha. Laughable.

END OF MESSAGE