.............. You can't expect a stalker to listen to reason because if they used reason in their thinking, they would not be a stalker in the first place. Stalking behavior is by its very nature unreasonable, hence Rule 2. Reason does not work to deter most stalkers, only firm bounderies and consequences for the behavior, imho.
Providers what do you do? What are some no no's you recommend Hobbyist not to do?
Hobbyist What do you do? Can a provider be too personal?
I was asked If I would see a client of mine personally and it made my situation awkward. Since I refused to see them again it has made a big mess.
that you have a policy and you don't see anyone outside of your business? Or that you have a SO or are married?
A lot will obviously depend on what this guy has between his ears. Tough call for sure and I wish you luck.
Agree with Gopher, say you don't see any clients outside. Guess I would not ever think of putting a girl in that position. Hope it works out OK.
I'm sure that can and does happen. Hasn't happened to me yet, but I haven't been in the hobby that long. There's some questions/topics I am not comfortable discussing with a provider until I know her well. And there's some questions/topics I'd rather not get into. Should a provider ever want to go to that undiscovered country, I'd deflect the question politely and change the subject.
And if a provider would want to get really personal, i.e. a personal relationship, I'd handle that as I have for many years of married life: express how flattered I am that she would want such a relationship with me, but that it's just not somewhere I can go. If it's possible after that to maintain our professional relationship, great, otherwise I'd have to bid au revoir and move on.
who have had clients turn into stalkers when the lady did not want to have a personal relationship outside of the hobby. It can get very scary because you just never know what some people are capable of. When they start declaring their love for you and do not accept the fact that you are not interested in a personal love relationship with them, it's time to say bye bye for good. Unfortunately, you have to cut off all communication with him before it gets worse.
Good luck, Belinda
...I think that providers need to set firm boundaries. It is hard in this business, because women are creating and fulfilling fantasies for men. It is up close and personal and sometimes emotions get in the way. That is very powerful. It is like a drug, very intoxicating. Some men will believe the fantasy has come true and that is when providers need to firmly set boundaries. Now, ladies please give me us your opinions, but I happen to believe that a man’s tendency to become a stalker will show itself in subtle ways, an interest in your personal life, wanting to know about the men you are seeing, pillow talk abut the sex you are having with an SO. You ladies know this routine far better that I do, but it is difficult when the stalker develops in anybody, hobbyist or provider, Yes, it happens both ways. You need to have strong support in your life to deal with a P4P that turns into stalking.
Whats your preception of being personal?
You think your too good for the guys! BS!
That is crap. Just because you're not interested in a guy means you are too good for them? 100% BS.
I agree with the idea that you should cut off communication with this person. Hopefully that will get through to him at some point and he will leave you alone. If not, then depending on what exactly he does, you might need to take stronger action and speak to a lawyer about how best to deal with this. Hopefully, it won't come to that but in the meantime I would suggest keeping a record of his attempts to contact you just in case.
You can't reason someone out of what he didn't reason into.
You can't reason someone out of what he didn't reason into.
So what is that supposed to mean please!!
.............. You can't expect a stalker to listen to reason because if they used reason in their thinking, they would not be a stalker in the first place. Stalking behavior is by its very nature unreasonable, hence Rule 2. Reason does not work to deter most stalkers, only firm bounderies and consequences for the behavior, imho.
It's not impossible to reason with such people but obsessive behavior is usually something the offender has to figure out to stop on their own because the consequences to the offender are severe enough.
Unfortunately it looks like your attempt to purchase VIP membership has failed due to your card being declined. Good news is that we have several other payment options that you could try.
We thank you for your purchase!
Membership should be activated shortly. You'll receive notification!
