http://www.theeroticreview.com/discussion_boards/viewmsg.asp?MessageID=534006&boardID=12&page=1#534006
It reminded me of an earlier thread of mine that addressed that very thing. I learned from that that it is not a good idea to give up personal info in screening or thereafter, and the one on the GD from today underscores the same.
I’d like to take it a step further and ask board readers about the EXCHANGE of personal info between provider and hobbyist. In becoming more familiar with a provider…..becoming a regular…… there is a greater likelihood of more than the basic exchange intended in the hobby. As an example, a provider who may have fallen on hard times who ask for a larger upfront donation in exchange for……say a month’s worth of sessions that equate to a substantial reduced rate of a month’s worth of sessions at the going rate. That doesn’t seem so bad.
What does seem like potential for a train wreck is that say you’re a tax accountant (or in some other service-oriented business). The provider wants to use your service in exchange for her service. A scenario would be she would have to give you her personal information, and would therefore know YOUR personal information or at least your "tax business" info. I believe that such arrangements already go on without issues or incidents. What worries me more is if/when the relationship goes south for either, or worse, the provider or YOU get flipped. I don’t think for one moment that either party will STFU if confronted and offered a deal. I believe that very few people are THAT loyal to who still amounts to a stranger. Especially if a livelihood, family, or reputation is at stake.
What do you guys think?
Instinct tells me that unless you're very, very comfortable with the provider, that the up-front payment for services is a dicey proposition. Many providers, IMHO, find themselves on "hard times" because they cannot manage money. You may give her a substantial upfront payment for the month, and find she's depleted it a week later and seeking another "advance."
On the other hand, I've had numerous relationships with providers where complete personal information was exchanged because the relationship simply developed in that direction and we trusted each other. I've met husbands and children of providers, and they've met members of my family. I don't recommend professional involvement, as you've posited, but if you can establish a base of trust and respect, then getting to know someone on a personal level is natural
Forgive me for wondering why are posting about this topic again. The link here is to your previous post on this topic and several others weighed in as well...nothing new here. For the record, I agree with Pollenbroker as my previous post says. I saw this post on the GD board today and I think we can all say as several posters did, that though the OP is facing an extreme reaction from a "pyscho bitch", he had chance to avoid the carnage and in fact put himeself back on the train tracks when he could have been clear. Maybe this is the lesson here, don"t be a "do gooder" and a fixer unless your life can take a hit. I am curious as to why you are so fascinated with this topic. My advice is to go out and have fun, keep your personal info secure since it is obviously important to you, but lets not revisit this issue every few days. Experienced hobbyists already know the dangers and we protect ourselves accordingly.
I'm very sad to say it, but I will not see any provider that insists on knowing my personal info in advance.
Here's a crazy thought that all GUYS need to learn. When a provider gets attacked via email, phone calls, letters, etc 99% of the time it's another woman. Yep, her envious competition wants to make her life unbearable. And you know what? That psycho provider got all that personal information from her clients! That's right boys, you lay there and answer those seemingly innocent questions so she can rip your ATF to bits. When you combine a little info with google, you can find a TON of info that you didn't know existed. It happened to me, but fortunately the data they gathered was so old and poorly cross referenced that they ended up sending some nonsense to a distant 2nd cousin.
1) Never give your personal info
2) Remember that anyone can subscribe to a license plate look up service. See #1
3) Do not share any personal info you have about any one else, ever! LIE!!
4) Stop seeing any provider that invokes any level of drama into your life
If you get to a personal level with a provider and get to know them personally, note that YOU just opened that door. Don't blame them... for all you know they were certifiable 5 years ago. There are thousands of functional psychopaths in the world.
There are hobbyists who can be equally guilty of awful behavior towards an escort. Clearly you are correct that the more personal information one party knows about the other, the greater the risk if the "relationship" goes south. These are things everyone should know but it still comes down to each person having to make a decision about what information they are willing to disclose or request, while at the same time understanding that the other person may have a different view on what's acceptable or necessary for them. Many guys don't want to give up much of anything and that's a perfectly valid choice.
As far as LE goes what you say is true but the best way to deal with LE if you have to is invoke your right to silence and have a lawyer. Once you agree to a deal, you have admitted to doing something illegal.
In talking with one provider, I was told that there is somewhat of a war/competition between providers. Told that for no particular reason that she could think of, she was attacked by another provider who she thought was a friend. She said that in the "girls club" she had revealed lots of personal info including her real first and last name, and then got slammed personally in her private life and back-channeled in provider circles. She also told me that she hears all kinds of gossip in "pillow talk" with clients that slam other providers.
For me, one of the reasons I enjoy the Hobby is there is normally less drama than with a civvie GF (ok, here on the board may be the exception...lol) I don't ever talk about other providers when with a lady and I discourage gossip and drama (you can do that ya know) and I focus on the fun at hand. Even with ladies I know well, we always try and keep it positive. If you have a provider who is constantly negative, see someone else.
You are quite right though that there is quite a bit of provider on provider harassment as well.
I have heard first hand of instances where guy went into stalker mode on certain providers. In fact while his name escapes me now there was one guy around for some time who was a serial stalker, moving from one provider to another.
You are quite right though that there is quite a bit of provider on provider harassment as well.
The provider on provider harassment is sometimes masked as a guy being a nut job, but they usually reveal themselves at some point. I just can't imagine a guy harassing a provider's kids or sending hate mail home in hopes that the SO gets it. I suppose it happens...
I too, refuse to divulge personal data. I mean really...If I'm LE than any 'personal' data I'm providing isn't going to safeguard anyone! Give me a break.
What I find interesting is that most providers asking for personal info would NEVER reciprocate with their own(I've asked). Essentailly tells me their quite cognizant of the risk their putting the client under and really don't give a dam.
The best thing to do when confronted with that scenario is to walk away and find a more reasonable provider.
ever give a lick of personal information. Period. End of story. That's my stance. Whatever happens, happens, and when it's done, there will be no reason to look back nor wonder or worry a week, month, or year down the road when someone else fucks up and shit hits the fan.
BARTER is also a terrible fucking idea. We have currency, so why anyone feels the need to trade goats and chickens is beyond me. There is no reason to complicate the arrangement like that. Leave the money on the table, enjoy your time, and walk away not having to think anything more of it.
Why is simplicity so underrated in this business?