.. than in the midst of a strong orgasm during sex with another, when she has completely given up control and lost herself in the moment. So the trick, for me, is to find porn in which those real orgasms occur. Lacking the ability to read minds, I'm quite sure my success is imperfect, but at least the search process is fun. The best method I have found is to focus on male performers who are more interested in getting the lady off than proving their own dominance and virility.
I have to remind myself that porn orgasms, even when they are real, are still performance. The women are paid to exagerate their response for the small screen. Hoping for the same response in person, whether in the hobby or out, is a sure road to disappointment. At least it is for me.
I don't watch porn for how-tos. When I attempted, early on, to implement some porn techniques the reaction was uniformly "Ow!" "Cut it out!" and "Be more gentle." Unless you like porn where the woman is supposed to be hurting, there's a lot of prep work that occurs off camera to get her ready. An exception is some hour long videos that have started popping up recently, Manuel Ferrara and James Deen are doing them, in which you can watch him gradually take her from zero to a hundred. But even there, what works for a young, ripped, hugely-hung fellow is not going to work for me. There are lots of sites and videos, some already mentioned, that are much more informative.
I've never watched porn with a partner. Maybe some day.