That misses the ladies activitely participating on the board ... All the sexy posts, intriguing comments and witty replies. I'm not talking about drama but the teasing back and forth. I looked forward to the photo themed days as well. Do you think that's the reason or at least one of the reasons? Has twitter and other social media started taking over and replaced the chatting I came to love about TER? Maybe it's just summer and all the lovelies are basking in the sun.

-- Modified on 8/7/2014 6:30:29 PM

How about a funny meme?

A lot of the fun has been sucked out of the board along with the sexy banter. Sadly attacks and negativity have reduced the local board to little more than a place to ask if anyone has seen the BP provider.

Oopsie

Years ago, I loved participating in this forum. Witty banter went both ways. There was a level of mutual respect between provider and client. It felt like a safe and welcoming place. Especially after the demise of MFP, it (to me) seemed like a great resource for meeting people and staying safe. I met some very dear friends and regulars here, for whom I am insanely grateful.

Seriously... looked forward to it. Now I have less room to be creative... besides on my own site! Anyone interested in a cam chat room again soon? Ladies & gents both welcome to participate! I read the boards often but don't comment much... but when I have something to say I do. I love the interaction too, but you're right Bri, there isn't much of it.

Like this?

I agree with some of what Remy said Also
The photo themed days were great!!

I agree.... I don't care at all for the new format. When it was local, it was fun, and everybody involved had a great time. I think keeping it local meant a lot more to all involved....it had a personal touch that is now missing.

I haven't noticed pics on here for almost a year and now everyone is just posting them on the ad board. (miss you Bridget, we kind of lost touch there)

TER's decision to restrict discussions has had a negative effect on the boards.  

I agree with ladies complaints because I'm fairly new to the hobby but I think I came here right before the board really went to hell (in fact I think I witnessed the destruction LOL (being someone who is respectful and grateful for the ladies that I have met so far in the hobby I guess my respect comes through in my post. When I would complement a lady or ask a sincere question I got called me (white knight and a suck up or whatever the heck they call it) it got really old and I just didn't want to waste my energy anymore. However I do miss the ability to talk to the providers in an open forum

After I posted I thought to myself, "oh shit what did I just start", worried that this might bring a bunch of negative replies ... Not at all what happened ... We are civil and some really amazing people still read and post here ... Thanks for keeping this more positive and thought provoking. There is hope!!

the demise of civility has been the loss of the local moderator.  The local mod had a voice, and sanctions, and the arguments would rage and get very funny, and then somebody would be sent into time out.  It was fun at the beginning of a day wondering who would get (temporarily) banned or moderated next.  It was like kindergarten with swear words.  And we didn't have to wait half a century for something possibly controversial to post, so conversations could get close to real time. And we didn't have to wonder why a thread was taken down because we were told... etc. etc.  

Change is not always for the better, hopefully TER will see this and go back to what worked and people liked. Speaking of what people liked... I thoroughly enjoyed your Nat-a-chats and miss them alot. They gave everyone a chance to meet and get to know others, it put a "real person" behind the posts on here instead of just a name and picture. So many posts start out so innocent and by the end of the thread it has totally changed to two idiots calling each other names over a totally different topic. And yes Bri you are not alone, the decent people have just wandered away do to intimidation by a few. I don't know what the answer is.

There seems to be a general feeling, which I agree with, that this discussion no longer has the two-way witty banter, and the mutual respect between provider and client.  That it isn't as safe and welcoming a place as it used to be.

There is a natural ebb and flow to things, maybe you can be the one to usher civility back to the board.  
I have always enjoyed your positive and cheerful influence here Bridget. Keep the faith, things can be still fun.

+1. Go Bridget!!

Yeah, just when I got up the courage to join in the fun of our themed photo days they were taken away .

I have a bird feeder in my backyard!
I miss the old boards too. I joined in 04 and it was a safe haven for P4P peeps.

+1 !
Also,
On being surly; I'm not for certain if that's true because I somehow stay quite busy with members here that don't participate in threads let alone write reviews here anymore for obvious reasons

But I've learned to love it ... Using Twitter has helped me get to know others and their personalities quite a bit more ... Plus I get to see tons of sexy pics

I agree that the negativity of the board is on us.  

+1  big time.  Well said.

As others have said the fun is gone.  Occasionally I've posted what I thought would be a fun little topic that would encourage some light hearted banter.  The number of reads is down and often there are little or no comments added on.  I took the hint. As others have said, removing the local photo day also diminished the reasons to visit here.  We have many, many wonderful ladies in our area who used to post photos.  Now there is very little consistent participation on the national board.  Twitter.  I follow it.  And while there are lots of fun comments there is also quite a bit of anger.  In my opinion, nothing really different from here in that regard.

Quite frankly, I miss a little controversy.  There's nothing like a spirited debate to get the blood flowing (besides you know what).
   
Women and men alike have been treated badly here.  There is an overreaction to the mostly imagined lack of respect and misogyny.  In the link below, I challenged the White Knights (no offense) to give examples of where the ladies had been treated like "pieces of meat" and got no responses.

You now have the board you desire, you can piss and moan and talk to the swinging dicks about whores, hookers and cheap pieces of ass till your hearts content.

If that's what you take from my post, so be it.

I agree with many of lockstock's thoughts on local mods and this board.  Also, we keep seeing posts about how hostile this board is..... really?  I don't post much these days but I do look in on our little board frequently and I don't see  all the negativity that is being talked about.  In fact this board has become bland.  Many of you will remember  that early in 2013 there was a big effort by some on this board to chastise those of us who were a bit spicy in our repartee (yes, I was), we were told “tone it down, be positive”.  Many of us just quit posting regularly at that point.  For the record I was never mean, but was pointed at times and so were many others, men and women who don't post here any more (anybody who has been around here a while will remember that we had a lot more active posters with strong opinions).  In my opinion we don't need more nice, we are “nicing” this board to death imho.  Again lockstock pinpoints the issue which was good local moderation, but don't forget that several ladies hated the local moderators back “in the day” (I was here under the old regime under a different handle as many of you know).  I think that this board functions best when it is a bit spicy and you need your big boy pants and big girl shoes to post.  Nice will never cut it, nice is boring.  

I log on to here almost every day to see what's going on.   I like when I see posts I can comment on.   Like this one.    

It seems "Mindy" generates too much negativity ~ yet under my alias I'm able to comment on & even start topics without that kind of response.So I will continue to read more than post......
 Haters never did bother me much.  
     

Hmmm... and the speculation begins...

In one paragraph you demand examples of women being disrespected. In the next paragraph, before anyone can respond, you announce that calling them whores and hookers is not disrespectful. Yeah ... it is! If they are strung out junkies being pimped by a predator, then maybe W&H is just telling it like it is. But if they are strong women who have found a way to support themselves and their dependants doing something they (usually) enjoy, then calling them W&H is entirely disrespectful.

participating on the board has fallen about 60% in the last year. I won't name them but all of you know who is rarely heard here any more.

what a great thread -- impressively real and funny in places, old names turning up,  
but most of all I still want to see Madison's meme.

A number of different insights so far... I would like to hope the weather is at least somewhat responsible for the recent blandness.  Why spend your time on a board other than to take a quick peek when it is 80 and sunny out?

See the difference in the responses between the two threads ... I appreciate the way we have been able to discuss it this time and how many different perspectives there are ... Plus look at all the great ladies who have chimed in love it!

You can be the new Queen of TER and take over for Leanne!!

For me it's probably good that the board has changed. Granted I'm a lurker more than a poster but given the number of stunning providers in our state, I could see myself in bankruptcy! So many worth the time and money, so little time and money to give. Such is the life of a graduate student. So to sum up, ladies, be not discouraged at the uncouth masses and concentrate on those of us who value a lady's wit, brains, AND beauty.

I especially like the last paragraph.   "Safe"  Forums like this is what makes this hobby/business continue to move forward.  It is up to each of us to utilize it in the way that benefits us.    

Without ter and reviews I never would have started seeing ladies. I am not super active but thankful for the ladies I have been lucky enough to see.  

It's good to see the warnings and be able to see reviews, but I think the moderators are killing the board. Anywhere you go, you will find negative people, but that's what ignore is for. I like the new photo board, but I still miss the photo theme days of our local gals. I remember when you could discuss a ladies availabilty and what others thought and they could also join the conversation. But now if you do not type your question just right, it gets denied. This has made me stay away more now and spend more time on Twitter. I love the free speech with the ladies there. Nice thread Bri.

I talk for a living.  So I love having genuine, authentic discussion/dialog with others.  When we talk face to face with others there are well established rules and expectations that most of us tend to follow, I have to admit that sometimes and in some situations my filter doesn’t always work, but there still is a level of decorum.  In the cyber world perceived anonymity is considered safe by most.  People believe that they can act like knuckleheads with what they feel are very little consequences.  In my mind, the best way to combat this it to simply ignore this unwanted and disrespectful on-line behavior.  When we ignore these individuals and their comments, which are simply meant to get a rise out of people, we give them nowhere to go with their comments.  We all know that any of us on this board can make some ignorant comments.  Does this mean the person making the comment is ignorant, I hope not, but….

Pretty well said Minn4ever.  I guess I didn't word my post as well as I would have liked, I didn't take the time.  Bottom line is that I haven't used the word whore here but I have used hooker intending no negative connotation.  

Let me piggyback on buck's comment here. As humans, verbal communication is essential in how we form connections. I don't believe that I'm out of line in suggesting that that connection is the greater goal which most of us seek. Certainly it can be found physically, but that level is neither sufficiently deep nor satisfying.

I couldn't agree more with you portia I can tell you from one ter is the only reason why I started hobbying I wanted to enter the hobby for quite some time but did not feel there was adequate resources for risk mitigation (I know there is a certain amount of risk involved no matter what) but risk mitigation is very important to me because the fact of the matter is I am a part of a more vulnerable population so there is even more risk involved for me in this endeavor than the average client. And the fact that I can only do out call appointments makes it even more important that I choose my providers wisely because even for the first visit they will be coming into my home and seeing things of a more personal nature than the average client provider relationship may encounter so I like to have as much information on them as possible so that I think sure that there the right person and I do not have a bad or even potentially dangerous experience if places like this did not exist I would probably have to quit hobby altogether. So I am grateful for forms like this and I hope to see this one continue to thrive!

I keep telling myself I'm not going to post any more here, but I have to piggy-back on this discussion.  
 
It's my third year in the hobby, and it's been a great ride.  After my first year, I posted some reflections on "A year in the hobby" (see link below...or search for June 12, 2012).  I was active on the board, holding the No. 2 slot for frequent contributor (behind vorlon) for several months.  It was a vibrant, friendly community, and it helped me get on my feet in the hobby (or, perhaps I should say, OFF my feet and into bed! ).    
 
I continued posting for a couple of months after that one-year mark, but eventually withdrew, for precisely the reasons that Bri and others raised.  Unbelievable nastiness pervaded too much of the discussion...or else simply meaningless drivel or over-the-top self-promotion.  So, for me, it was pretty much "one-and-done" in terms of participation on the board.  (I.e., One year of posting and then done.  Not in the hobby; just on the board, as some others have also noted.)  
 
Minn4evr's "Dissonance" post and Remy's "my reasons" are spot-on.  Good on you and others who posted in that same vein.  

Great post mnjohnny.  You said what I would have liked to have said, I just blew it!  
 

Outside of one brief period of time quite a few years ago when almost everyone was moderated, TER rules about what they allow to be posted have been pretty lenient in my experience.  When we had local mods, the better ones made sure things didn't get out of hand.  On the other hand, as I have stated before, I have seen it far worse, back in some of the early years.  As someone else said, there is an ebb and flow to the board.  

of drama & BS.  When that happens, they leave for friendlier pastures.  Social media sites aren't the reason why people are leaving, but they offer a wider platform & meanies can be blocked more easily than they can here.  Just my thoughts...

-- Modified on 8/12/2014 12:31:31 PM