My Fellow Americans

The President has asked that all Americans and Canadians unite together in a common cause to root out  terrorists hiding in our community. Since the Taliban cannot stand nudity  and consider it a sin to see a naked woman that is not one's wife, on Saturday afternoon at 2:00 p.m. EDT, all North American women are asked to walk out of their house completely naked to help weed out any neighborhood  terrorists. Circling your block for one hour is recommended for this anti-terrorist effort.

All men should position themselves in lawn chairs in front of their houses to prove that you think it's OK to see other women nude. Since they do not approve of alcohol, a cold six-pack at your side is further proof of your anti-Taliban sentiment.

Names and addresses of non-participants should be  sent to CIA
Headquarters, Langley, Virginia.

The United States of America appreciates your efforts to root out
terrorists and applauds your efforts.  Please, by all means, send this to your fellow Patriots to ensure 100% participation.