I am curious....how long have you guys been, I guess you would say , utilizing the service of women.  Personally I'm going on 25 years.  It's been over a year since I've seen anyone.  First started on the old craiglist site along with the paper version of back page.  Anyone else frequent choice massage back in the day?  Seeing as it's been over a year I'm ready to see another provider, one who actually enjoys the massage part but also knows how to relieve the tension.  But it's hard because I haven't seen anyone recently for using as a reference and not willing to give out any personal info about myself in order to gain an appointment.  And what's with the site that starts with a T.  So many fake/online only add popping up

Been around 10 years. I remember the back page days. No verifications, reference checks. You could just call and book an appointment over the phone. No drama. In and out.  Obviously there were some fake ads but overall majority was a good experience if you knew what you were doing. Providers had reasonable pricing. Nowadays, new providers expect you to provide all your personal info and expect 400 an hour for just a quickie and no connection. Best to stick with your regulars. Email them. Some stay UTR even though they don’t post anymore. New providers expect too much with no experience.

END OF MESSAGE

I've been seeing providers since 2013. Was more affordable and accessible back then.  
Things sorta went downhill once backpages went down. Even TER was unreachable for a brief time period if I recall correctly.  
Being active and since 2013, I know to avoid Asian agencies in Minnesota. Too risky.  
That said, I've met some wonderful  providers and don't regret most of my experiences.

I hear you. Coming back after a year can feel like a different world. Although much has stayed the same, screening feels heavier, rates feel higher, and there does appear to be more “online only” ads. You are not the only one feeling that friction. It's felt on both sides of the fence.  

 
Many of the gents here that have been around 10 to 20 years, I know some of the women you used to see. One or two of them mentored me in this work over the last year or two. Whenever we chat to catch up, whether over dinner or on the phone, work always comes up. And they'll ask if the men are still reminiscing about 2003-2006  “back then” rates vs now, and even they wince that some clients still expect that pricing. Safety needs shifted. Stings went up. References got less reliable, so more providers only accept vouches from women they know personally and/or are HIGHLY reputable or some real-world info. TER being down around 2017 to 2020 after SESTA/FOSTA made screening harder for us too.

 
What works now is choosing one good gate, then walking through it with calm and care.
• Screen with someone whose discretion you trust. She becomes your access point. Ask about an in-person screening that still uses real-world info. If a gentleman asks politely, respectfully, and offers a small consideration for the extra time, some may create a tailored option for you. If someone is rude about screening, the conversation ends.
• Do real due diligence. Tryst and Eros both have some “online only” posters. Make a short list of two to four providers. Look for a true website, consistent socials, matching photos, reviews (if they don't have reviews, is there anything that shows a consistent history), a clear screening policy. If you are unsure, ask. Curiosity with respect will always get you further than pushback.
• Update expectations. If you want more than a quick rub, invest in a woman who loves giving real massage and real connection. Those women exist here. They just expect grown-men to act like grown men... not entitled boys.

 
TLDR: Choose well. Screen once well. Let that open the right doors. When you meet the right woman with the right frame, the tension leaves your body and the room gets very warm, very quickly.

I agree and very well said.

...real, accurate, helpful post.
(I could just have hit "like" but that doesn't mean much here.)

Thanks for providing a long and tedious reply to a question that wasnt asked.  

I’ve been a TER member since 2001. Probably have many of your same memories. I remain somewhat active in the hobby. Feel free to PM me.

I read the entire prompt. One line with a question mark does not limit the inquiry. The OP referenced rates, references, a year away which impacts screening for him, and “online only” ads. Those are linked safety and process questions, and they require a complete answer. I connected the dots so the OP could move safely.  

 
I focus on ideas, not people. If you disagree on substance, make your case with facts. If you have stronger information, present it. If not, keep scrolling and let the adults continue the conversation.

-- Modified on 11/21/2025 12:04:01 PM