It is very sad about what happened in Atlanta.

I'm quite sure we will all do everything possible to keep ourselves safe. We always do. We'll continue to hold the keys in between our balled up fists. Have the pepper spray or the taser at the ready; some with their conceal and carry license may be packing. We'll weigh the pros and cons of going out past 10pm. We will look like a meerkat, surveying the environment, when stopping at the highway rest-stop at midnight because we just can't hold it to the next major town. We'll check the backseat before we drive off. Lock the doors as soon as we get into the car or into our house. We won't sit on our phones in the car, we'll immediately drive off. We will do our best to gently let down men that catcall us or those we are not interested in. We will pay attention when a car makes the same three to four right turns we have or that person in the grocery store who is clearly following us. We'll screen clients to the best of our ability. We'll ask for more information if we deem it necessary. Alas the client may not be comfortable with that. We'll weigh the pros and the cons of taking that appointment if they won't provide the information we need because not all providers have the luxury of turning down an appointment. We'll politely ask if you mind if we send a quick text because we're letting our "safe call" know that everything is okay. If it's an outcall, we'll tell them what hotel or the neighborhood we're in. We'll tell them that if they don't hear from us by "x" time to call us. If we don't respond by some designated time, then get worried. Some of us will wear smart watches due to their safety features. To be honest, I didn't really think about the amount of things women do to keep ourselves safe because this is indoctrinated behavior from a young age. Now to write it all out, it's rather disheartening.  

 
Suffice to say, we will continue to do everything but let this also be a reminder that men also need to do some work, call out their boys, and hold their fellow men accountable.  

 
*This impacts all women but I would be remiss to not mention that this issue is only amplified for women of color and trans women and people who identify as both, who have to navigate the intersections of sexism, racism and homophobia. Black and Indigenous women experience the highest homicide rates among all women, and 55.3% of women who are murder victims die due to intimate partner violence. In 2020, at least 44 trans or gender non-conforming people were murder victims in the US. And sex workers are often left out of the conversation because people assume that if we are in this profession, we are inherently asking for violence to be committed against us. We need to acknowledge that violence is not experience equally to have this conversation.

-- Modified on 3/18/2021 12:12:44 PM