Im a DWM 54 total painslut gorilla all i seek is acute woman to literally walk/trample my cast iron tummy wearing high heels no sex no whacking off no nudity! 30min anyone know of a reliable girl that would give me a Christmas discount and come to me? okay 20min $100.00? Thankx in advance
Ugh, 4000 calories later today, couldn't help but notice the word fun. Your post brought to mind the line "It's abstruse to deduce ..." from the comedy/songwriter Tim Minchin (I'm one of his unofficial ambassadors):
"It's abstruse* to deduce I found my soul mate at the age of 17." I may have posted this song in another context before, but it's just so fun and true.
"If I Didn't Have You" (4:00 long, a little LOUD for YouTube, at about 1:35)
Yeah, yeah If I didn't have you
If I didn't have you to hold me tight (if I didn't have you) If I didn't have you to lie with at night (when I'm feelin' blue) If I didn't have you to share my sighs And to kiss me and dry my tears when I cry Well I really think that I would have somebody else
If I didn't have you, someone else would do
Our love is one in a million, you couldn't buy it at any price But of the nine point nine nine nine Hundred thousand other possible loves Statistically some of them would be equally nice Or maybe not as nice but say smarter than you Or dumber but better at sport or tracing I'm just saying I really think that I would probably have somebody else
Yeah
If I didn't have you, someone else would do
If I were a rich man, diddle diddle diddle diddle diddle diddle diddle dum I guess I could be with a surgeon or a model Or a reli of the royals or a Kennedy Or a nymphomaniacal exhibitionist heiress to a large chain of hotels If I were a rich man maybe I would fiddle Fiddle diddle diddle with them rich man girls I'm not saying that I'd not love you if I were wealthy or handsome But realistically there's lots of fish in the sea, And if I had a different rod I would conceivably land some. Even though I am fiscally consistently pitiable And considerably less Brad Pitt than Brad Pitiful Am I really so poor and ugly that you Think only you could possibly love me? And I really think that I would probably have somebody else
And look I'm not undervaluing what we've got when I say That given the role chaos inevitably plays And the inherently flawed notion of fate
**** It's abstruse to deduce **** I found my soul mate at the age of 17
It's just mathematically unlikely that at a university in Perth I happened to stumble on the one girl on earth Definitively designed for me
And if I may conjecture a further objection Love is nothing to do with destined perfection The connection is strengthened; the affection simply grows over time Like a flower or a mushroom or a guinea pig or a vine Or a sponge or bigotry or a banana And love is made more powerful by the ongoing Drama of shared experience And the synergy of a kind of symbiotic empathy or something...
So I trust it goes without saying that I would feel really very sad If tomorrow you were to fall off something high or catch something bad But I'm just saying I don't think you're special I mean I think you're special but you fall within a bell curve I mean I'm just saying I really think that I would Probably have somebody else
I think you are unique and beautiful You make me happy just by being around But objectively you would have to agree that baby when I found you Options were relatively thin on the ground You're lovely but there must be girls as lovely as you And maybe more open to spanking or table tennis I'm just saying I really think that I would probably have somebody else
I mean I reckon it's pretty likely that If for example my first girlfriend Jackie Hadn't dumped me after I kissed Winston's ex-girlfriend Nia At Steph's party back in 1993 Enough variables would probably have been altered By the absence of that event To have meant the advent of a tangential narrative in which we don't meet Which is to say that there exists a Theoretical, hypothetical, parallel life Where what is, is not as it is and I'm not your husband And you are not my wife And I am a stuntman living in LA Married to a small blonde Portuguese skier Who when she's not training does abstract paintings Practices yoga and brews her own beer And really likes making home movies and suffers neck-down alopecia
But with all my heart and all my mind I know one thing is true I have just one life and just one love and my love that love is you And if it wasn't for you, darling you I really think that I would probably have somebody else
Yeah
If I didn't have you someone else would do
*abstruse [əbˈstruːs] adj not easy to understand; recondite; esoteric
abtuse - need to get to the "Urban Dictionary" for that one and it's mostly "thumbs down": The act of being simultanously abstract and obtuse.
I think very few providers would have the necessary skill to trample you. It is not as easy as it looks, and if not done well, is not much fun, and not very safe. There are some women who post in the domination section of back page who can provide that service, but I don't know if they will come to you for $100. I guess it depends on where you are, ect.
I have some fetishes, and have always had luck with Craigslist. Lots of guys put it down, but for something like this, it is pretty easy to post on the casual encounters or misc section. Be up front, and say you are a generous man, looking for a woman to trample. I don't think CL lets you put dollar amounts in, but you can use words like "arrangement" "generous" "Professional". For some reason you cannot use the word "sugar" as in sugardaddy.
I have also had good luck at a fetish website called collarme dot com. Its supposed to be a dating site for people with lots of bdsm or Ds cravings. Its free to sign up and communicate with others, and you can be as explicit as you want. There you can be very clear that you are only interested in hiring someone, and willing to pay for the service.
I hope you have some luck, but I doubt you will find much help here.
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