: Minnesota Discussion : Mental case are high within the hoe community

Canmandoo 12 Reviews 2545 reads

posted 9 years ago

1 / 14

Travel Date Decisions and Disappointments

Recently I booked a short travel date to a seaside town a month in advance with a lady I’ve traveled with before (reputable, many reviews, not from MN or on my review list). I like treating her well: first class airfare, airport limo, fun tourist activity, dinner, and best suite at the nicest hotel in the area.

Wanted to reconfirm 12 days in advance. No answer. Tried again 6 days out stating I need to find a replacement if not confirmed. No answer. I made other arrangements. I finally get a reply that she is still expecting to go so I cancel her replacement (who is pissed but compensated).

The day of, she misses flight – too late to gate. Intentionally arrives really late so no time is wasted waiting. As an experienced traveler (many tours) she knows this happens. The 2nd time in a year! I cancel limo and activities (no refund). Feeling disrespected, bummed that we’ll miss activities planned, and with no indication of any concession (no offer to stay later, lower rate, or extra fun time) - I said cancel. She quickly cancels flight.

Good decision? Cancelling on a principle of no respect in a business with no principles and little respect. I feel awful for cancelling on 2 ladies and burning bridges I spent years building (my first cancels ever). All the expenses, 3 airfares, time planning and flying just to sleep alone in a room with a view. But, I did save thousands on forgoing a late dinner with 1 round and an early drive to airport to take her back. Maybe I should have continued to make something out of the effort put in? WWYD?

I’ve also had other travel dates cancel on me, once while I was at airport. There have been nights spent in stupid arguments or had them crying to sleep because of personal issues (instead of fooling around). I used to think travel dates were the best way to encourage a provider’s best experience (and sometimes it is), but often they can just be costly disappointments with less playtime, options, respect than they provide an hourly client. If there’s a better way, let me know.

clairecavendish See my TER Reviews 718 reads

posted 9 years ago

2 / 14

This is really sad and gives professional ladies a bad name

Sad for you that you've had these disappointments. I wouldn't have expected this kind of thing from a well reviewed lady you'd seen before. I love to get to know a gent better on a longer booking like this and have always appreciated the lovely gestures and effort some clients go to to make a trip exciting and special.
We're not all the same but alas in this industry I guess it can be difficult to separate the wheat from the chaff!!

knotsaway 38 Reviews 504 reads

posted 9 years ago

3 / 14

Is there a better way?

There's some things one can control, and some things one can't control. Some things, like a person being upset and not being in the mood to "fool around", can't be controlled. You accept those kinds of risks when you decide to see providers... and when you interact closely with others in general. The cost to you of those risks is greater on a long date than a short date.

But there are some risks you can reduce if not eliminate. For example:

* choose travel destinations with more travel options, such that if you or the provider should miss a flight (and planes break sometimes), the date can be salvaged using an alternate flight, or car or train or... .

* schedule activities such that if one or both of you are late in arriving, you can still have a good time without your incurring costs for activities that have to be cancelled or postponed.

* be extremely selective in your choice of travel dates. I'd do such a date only with someone I knew really well--someone who's not only very compatible with me but also someone who is very professional and thus would never do anything to intentionally spoil the date. Knowing that, I'd be ready to accept that "stuff happens" if there were a problem with travel (e.g. she missed her flight) or if something happened to her that made her feel down, or if something else popped up. We'd work through it together and make the best of it.

And of course, the only way to completely eliminate risk from dates like this is to not do them. But then you'd miss out on the fun of those experiences. There's a saying: "No risk, no reward."

-- Modified on 9/18/2016 7:15:51 AM

belindabell See my TER Reviews 426 reads

posted 9 years ago

4 / 14

imo you were right to cancel with the first lady

but wrong to cancel with the second one.

darmody 22 Reviews 414 reads

posted 9 years ago

5 / 14

A better way

You could try picking up a lady where you've traveled. But maybe it's not an ideal destination for the that. I, personally, don't see the attraction in travel dates. I'd rather spend all year trying to convince a "civilian" girl, or go alone.

Canmandoo 12 Reviews 267 reads

posted 9 years ago

6 / 14

Thank for the feedback!

Thanks for all the feedback which I agree with and makes me feel a little better.

Note: I would never fault anyone for unforeseen delays and very understanding when stuff happens. This one just seemed avoidable when I schedule a flight intentionally not too early or in rush hour but she still rolls into the major metro parking ramp less than 30 minutes to take off thinking she's on time...and I'm at fault for cancelling because the airline didn't wait?

For what it's worth, I try to limit risk by:
- I book flights. Real name/age basis and I have confirmation #. Once notified the flight was changed to another location the next morning as she cancelled on me late due to sickness.Ugh.
- Asking ladies closer to destination...but even later flights are overbooked or hours after.
- I always confirm/touch base during the week before. Politely offer to postpone if life got busy or they are not physically or emotionally not up for it. It's better than spending time with someone who is tired, sad, or out to drink the bar dry.
Even so, disappointment happens. It just doesn't seem it's worth the risk anymore.

My biggest mistake here is not realizing others change. I should have seen it coming when communications went south and kept alternative plans. Duh. Learned the hard way

tonightoutcall 405 reads

posted 9 years ago

7 / 14

very true!

After 20 years one and only constant I can promise is if and when communication seems delayed or forced moving on is the best option. I personally have never had it go from being poor to precise and had the appointments go off perfectly. I understand life gets busy but if you don't get a reply in 48hrs there are probably issues for what ever reason.
I work independently and even on weekends and vacations I wouldn't let a customer or client wait more than 48 hrs and if I did and they moved on it would be completely understandable.
That said multiple long term trips or appointments with providers can become tough. Even if there is a great connection and sometimes if that's the case it's even more difficult because one or the other might be developing feelings and it blurs lines. I have been told that before by a provider who was as close to a best friend in this hobby as possible. We stayed friends but don't see each other as client provider anymore. If both of us were ever single at the same time we might try dating but otherwise it's just going to be platonic.

Posted By: Canmandoo

Thanks for all the feedback which I agree with and makes me feel a little better.

Note: I would never fault anyone for unforeseen delays and very understanding when stuff happens. This one just seemed avoidable when I schedule a flight intentionally not too early or in rush hour but she still rolls into the major metro parking ramp less than 30 minutes to take off thinking she's on time...and I'm at fault for cancelling because the airline didn't wait?

For what it's worth, I try to limit risk by:
- I book flights. Real name/age basis and I have confirmation #. Once notified the flight was changed to another location the next morning as she cancelled on me late due to sickness.Ugh.
- Asking ladies closer to destination...but even later flights are overbooked or hours after.
- I always confirm/touch base during the week before. Politely offer to postpone if life got busy or they are not physically or emotionally not up for it. It's better than spending time with someone who is tired, sad, or out to drink the bar dry.
Even so, disappointment happens. It just doesn't seem it's worth the risk anymore.

My biggest mistake here is not realizing others change. I should have seen it coming when communications went south and kept alternative plans. Duh. Learned the hard way.

-- Modified on 9/18/2016 3:31:49 PM

OldTimerB 45 Reviews 412 reads

posted 9 years ago

8 / 14

The "entitled" provider who doesn't

Want to wait, cut her loose forever.

I would personally never stand for her attitude.

You should have cancelled it with her if she didn't get back to you at least a week in advance.

Re the 2nd lady, I think you should have kept her on the agenda so to speak. A bird in the hand..

jchan113 4 Reviews 306 reads

posted 9 years ago

9 / 14

Please explain

Do you fly in and entertain these providers in vacation spots to get laid? Are they on the clock or on the job the whole time? From what you have written it seems like you go through all this prep work to get laid once, then the date is over and she is on her way back.

What are some of the rules for these getaways? Why not take local on a getaway?

Canmandoo 12 Reviews 403 reads

posted 9 years ago

10 / 14

Re: Please explain

No explicit rules. Just like any other date except it's somewhere else and there's more on the agenda then the bedroom (which can be taken advantage of). A short planned power trip to a fun place with a lady you trust, get along with, and enjoy in private (with no strings attached) can be a great experience when it works out. it's fun planning to make the most of time spent - especially when it's appreciated. Just airfare in addition to extended rates. Usually they are flexible with time or rates (but not always). I doubt I'm the only one here.

I used to think it's less risky than testing the local (destination) waters, but now I'm not sure so your point is well taken. If you mean MN by local, then I've tried this with one great lady...but it can be awkward/risky being on the same flight with other MN flyers.

Ideally, it's many rounds in addition to exploring. But in this case, a late date would likely equal 1 round then she'll rollover for 6-8 hours of sleep until an early flight she needed. So my favorite morning activity was doubtful at best (frustrating when she is known for multiples and a fuller menu for other clients booking an hour)...just showing how much of a sucker I am and how it was best I cancelled. Sometimes the more effort you put in, the less effort you get back and more shit you have to deal with.

P.S. - this is not a solicitation. Obviously I'm less likely to want to travel as much as I did before

TalonTed 91 Reviews 511 reads

posted 9 years ago

11 / 14

Mental case are high within the hoe community

You expecting someone normal?? Jokes on you!!

Posted By: Canmandoo

Recently I booked a short travel date to a seaside town a month in advance with a lady I’ve traveled with before (reputable, many reviews, not from MN or on my review list). I like treating her well: first class airfare, airport limo, fun tourist activity, dinner, and best suite at the nicest hotel in the area.

Wanted to reconfirm 12 days in advance. No answer. Tried again 6 days out stating I need to find a replacement if not confirmed. No answer. I made other arrangements. I finally get a reply that she is still expecting to go so I cancel her replacement (who is pissed but compensated).

The day of, she misses flight – too late to gate. Intentionally arrives really late so no time is wasted waiting. As an experienced traveler (many tours) she knows this happens. The 2nd time in a year! I cancel limo and activities (no refund). Feeling disrespected, bummed that we’ll miss activities planned, and with no indication of any concession (no offer to stay later, lower rate, or extra fun time) - I said cancel. She quickly cancels flight.

Good decision? Cancelling on a principle of no respect in a business with no principles and little respect. I feel awful for cancelling on 2 ladies and burning bridges I spent years building (my first cancels ever). All the expenses, 3 airfares, time planning and flying just to sleep alone in a room with a view. But, I did save thousands on forgoing a late dinner with 1 round and an early drive to airport to take her back. Maybe I should have continued to make something out of the effort put in? WWYD?

I’ve also had other travel dates cancel on me, once while I was at airport. There have been nights spent in stupid arguments or had them crying to sleep because of personal issues (instead of fooling around). I used to think travel dates were the best way to encourage a provider’s best experience (and sometimes it is), but often they can just be costly disappointments with less playtime, options, respect than they provide an hourly client. If there’s a better way, let me know.

funman1969 9 Reviews 394 reads

posted 9 years ago

12 / 14

You got it wrong

They cancelled on you. You upheld your end they didnt. Your not the first and wont be the last they have done this to .

vorlon 119 Reviews 292 reads

posted 9 years ago

13 / 14

Re: Please explain

Some providers advertise such rates on their websites. Others you would have to ask and see if they travel with a client and what they would want for that. My experience has been that you can have pretty much as many rounds as you can manage but don't expect that you will spend the entire time in bed. It's much more like going on a trip with an SO; you'll spend time doing other things as well.

vorlon 119 Reviews 462 reads

posted 9 years ago

14 / 14

I would have gone with the replacement provider

Your first choice didn't confirm soon enough, even when you communicated to her that if she didn't get in touch, you'd make other arrangements. That was enough of a warning sign that I would have just told her when she did contact you that it was too late; you'd made the other arrangements you said you were going to make.