Ladies, I'm sure I don't speak for everyone, but there is a class of clientèle out here who are no longer in the first blush of youth; who have therefore lost some of their vigor and ability to attain immediate, repeated and sustained erections as in days of yore. It's probably a very small class. Maybe just me. But anyway.  

After abstaining for several days beforehand, and carefully timing my consumption of expensive medication in preparation, when I visit you and find myself with a nice hard-on it is something I wish to cherish and nurture. It distresses me if it appears my achievement is not properly appreciated.  

I sometimes get the impression ladies think it is a friendly tease, when I suggest it is time for the cover, to leave me hanging for a bit. Not malicious, just increasing the anticipation. Sometimes the delay is due to lack of preparation, or incompetence. The simple fact is, if I got a hard on I can lose it. And if I do, it may be much harder or sometimes even impossible to reacquire.  

With that background, I offer a variety of ways that a lady can address the subject of condoms once she has the guy hard, and the score I would give to each of them. (TER uses a 10 point scale. I'm up to 13. I'm even better than the guitarist for Spinal Tap.)

-1 Suggests you leave the donation while you go to the store to buy some condoms

0 Asks how you feel about a hand job, grudgingly gives brief BBBJ

1 After 3+ minutes of searching finds one in a cover that appears to have been trod upon

2 After 2 minutes  etc.

3 After 1 minute  etc.

4 Finds the coin purse the condoms are in, hidden in her luggage in the back of the closet,  but the zipper is stuck

5 Wanders around, has a sip of wine, dims the lights, repositions the candles, makes conversation, pulls back the bed covers, before bringing out the condom

6 Produces a condom but can't get the packaging open and asks which way it is supposed to go on, and could you do it? (Some guys may prefer to put it on themselves. Personally, I want your hands on me as much as possible. Also, I like the idea you are interested in knowing it is installed correctly. It's for your protection as much as mine.)

7 Walks to the condom where it is located in the next room, brings it back and gets to work

8 Reaches into the drawer of the bedside table and takes out the condom she put there in preparation

9 Reaches into the drawer of the bedside table and pulls out condom and lube and uses both, correctly and efficiently

10 Places the lube and palms a condom before she starts BBBJ so that when I am ready she can install the condom and get on with business with a minimum of disruption

11 Pushed me onto my back and palmed the condom while she slung a leg over and commenced 69, in the course of which she used DT to generate saliva that is thicker and slipperier than mere spit, then installed the condom with her mouth so I wasn't aware it was happening, and dragged her mound along my chest and abdomen as she crawled down for RCG, blocking my view so I couldn't even be certain there was a cover when she impaled herself on me, until she lifted up so I could see it was there as she started to move. Oh yeah!!!

Don't laugh too hard. The only one of these I have never encountered is the first. Everything else comes from first hand experience, so believe me when I tell you it makes a huge difference in my overall enjoyment of the session. Anyone else think this would be a useful addition to the Services Provided list for TER reviews?

A final note. Lube is mentioned very late on the list, not because it is unimportant, but only because it is produced so rarely. Every condom manufacturer suggests you put lube on the dick, then install the condom, then lube the condom. It makes things more comfortable for you, feels better for me, reduces the chance of breakage, and even, counter-intuitively, reduces the risk of the condom coming off. I'm a happy man when a lady brings out lube.

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Amazing! I sincerely appreciate your candor .  
Super Hott! 💋

I think I've got it down around 8 but let me just say I've always wondered how guys feel about lube.
I mean for basic situations I always felt it may seem insulting -you never know how someone thinks- but I found one I absolutely love...which reminds me I better re-up. This is such a good thing to post. Thank you I hope everyone reads this.
 =)

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Especially easy if I've met you before and remember your size  

If not, I survey the landscape and dress appropriately - always in close reach. This was something a reviewer complained about early on - I was scattered and always having to get up for things. Now everything is usually within an arms reach or a step from the bed... Practice makes perfect. These suggestions are interesting lol. I do think that sneaking one from the bra while mounted 69 so you don't even feel or see it go on because her lips are also around your cock........ that would make it over the top, right? You'd have to grab it to make sure its there before you let her sit on it.... just to be sure The lube is also close by... but by then the spit should be sloppy enough

A couple of times the lady applied flavored lube to me and her prior to oral.  Wasn't sure I'd like it.  But, oh my, I'm sold on those moves now!!

Has one already under the pillow along with the bottle of lube?

Is lube really rare? REALLY??

That's hot. Do you do outcall? Lol

Hey sexy, whether or not it's preferred it is important for safety. Without it, the condom could be compromised. My favorite is "Sliquid" brand. Love, love, love it. As far as any flavored lube, I am just not a fan at ALL. It is beyond sticky and leaves a feeling like someone rubbed a wet jolly rancher all over me, yuck. I prefer to taste my company...men AND women alike.  

Peace,

Astrid

I would be surprised if anyone felt insulted...a good lube adds pleasure to already wonderful sensations! Add in the safety factor, and life is good

Peace,

Astri

I like the way you think, but wouldn't that mean you have to keep the bra on? Beautiful breasts are a terrible thing to not be able to see/touch/taste. Gotta keep the big picture in mind.

Although, I'm enjoying the visual of your lube bottle nestled down there between them, ready to spring into action at need. Possibly a theme for the next Photo thread?

... on whether you can remember which pillow you hid them under.

In my experience lube appears maybe one time in three.

I arrived, we started kissing, and she said she was out of condoms and asked me to go get some. At that point, what could I do?

Two things that will help:

1.)Take charge of the session. When you are the director then you can make magic happen. Only you know what your mighty member is going to do. As for your scale it is wonderful but it is very personal. So make the session more personal.  

2.) Ladies put the condoms where we can get at them too! Those hidding places are awesome but I hide my penis all day and that thing is awesome too

I'm not sure why anyone would be insulted about lube - it is a wonderful thing.

I too have encountered #1 she asked me to go to the store and when I looked at her like "you've got to be kidding" she called a girl friend to get them and drop them off.

but how about 8.5 i guess it'd be--reaches under the pillow to pull out the condom from where she has cleverly placed it prior to your occupation of the bed

I way prefer a slippery wet woman to someone not quite ready to go.  Intelligent men know that getting soaking wet naturally just isn't a realistic expectation for a lady every single time. Especially on a first date. I have started many sessions with lube and had my date get wetter as we progressed. Also, lube is often very welcome for the second round when the guy might go a bit longer.

That's when it comes in handy to have brought your own.

If her bra is still on by that time then.... well that's just plain wrong!