And since YOU know me, you know I want you (in particular) to: Spank me. Tease me. Lick me. Please me. Feel me. Mmmmm...do whatever YOU want to me...as long as I can do it to you. Mmmmm...
YUM!
(Naughty girl out and over...on a discussion post...roger that!!!)
As Krackt has mentioned in a thread below, he has wanted to see more discussion and less of the advertising type posts that the board has become. We all like to see pics of barely clad women (myself included) but sometimes I do wish to see some discussion of important or fun topics that pertain to the hobby.
In an effort to accomplish this, yet still keep it fun, I will post a question here. Please join in with your answers. This will only be successful with participation on the part of board members. Perhaps others could post a question, be it silly or serious, from time to time to keep the board moving.
Here's my question and then my answer:
Q: What is the funniest sex you have ever had whether it be in the hobby or outside the hobby?
A: When I was 30 years old, I had a 21 year old lover. Previous to me, he had been seeing a woman his own age who was inexperienced and rather naive in the art of lovemaking. He wanted to try Russian. I was, of course, willing and able to show him the ropes! Just a few strokes in my cleavage and wham...he blew, like a gusher! Right up my nose! I laughed and laughed. I thought he was cute as he turned a hundred shades of red and tried very hard to wipe his goo out of his nose when he just ended up smearing it all over my face and ears and hair. What a mess! But so funny at the time as he kept saying " I am so sorry. I am so sorry." LOL.
Now, guys and gals...what is the funniest sex YOU have ever had?
About 10 years ago I had been a gal for a few months and we had started experimenting with greek which was new to both of us. After "getting it down" we were involved in a pretty vigorous round of me pounding her from behind when all the sudden a loud CRACK was heard and a corner of the bed broke throwing us both onto the floor! We laughed about that for the next year until we broke up.
My first attempt at a 69 was pretty funny. I was dating a very demure girl, I was wildly attracted to. I had been asking to try this for a long time, finally after enough beer was had she agreed. About 10 minutes into it, she farted, and not a cute little demure girl fart either. Needless to say she was mortified, despite my reassurances that I was in know way traumatized by the event. We never talked about it, and never did it again.
and they ain't a whole lot of fun. I was with a provider, and she let loose with a butt quake that had to measure about a 6.5 on the rectum scale. And if that wasn't enough, she follwed it up with a couple of 3.5 aftershocks.
but it was certainly potetially embarrassing. A couple of years ago, I decided to try one of the herbal male enhancers just to see if it did anything. The one I chose came with a "free gift". The gift was a package of penis wipes, for that quick, "right now" erection. About a half hour before a lady was to arrive for our date, I took out the package, and followed the instructions to the letter. What I had failed to do was to read the ingredients. One of them was black pepper. I'm here to tell you that if you want to "spice up' your sex life, pepper is not the spice to use. Within a few minutes, my dick burst into flames, and I had visions of answering the door with the poor little guy soaking in a bucket of ice cubes. Fortunately, a mad dash into the shower helped to make the flames subside.
I couldn't go the whole evening without telling the lady about it. As stupid as it was, I had to share it with her, and she did get a prety good laugh at my dick's expense. The rest of the evening was terrific as well.
Back in my young civie days, I often played with a girlfriend and her boyfriend. We would do fun things like stay in the fanta-suites, a pimped out suite in down town, or public play. A well planned out party night was in store for us. I knew we would be up late so I took 2 hours of flex time for the morning after. Well, as things went WE WERE up late. The next morning we took a jacuzzi bath together. The cock was on one side of the tub and our eager mouths were in bird watching form. When he blew his load, a big glob of it went into my eye. Boy, that stuff can taste decent, but it burns the eye like a mutha' F'er.
Well, about 950am I roll into my office with shocked looks from my coworkers. I was told I needed to go talk to the manager right away and to stay back! Soon as I entered my bosses office, I was told to go home. Everyone was convinced (just by the looks of things), I had pink eye!!!
LOL....so, if you need an excuse to get out of work, pink eye for a day is just one jack off away!
XOXO, Your favorite pin-up playmate!! ~I've got the curves to prove it.~
Now this is not the most outrageous place I had sex, yet it was funny.
A long-term boyfriend and I decided to get it on in the backyard...on a lawn chair...not a good idea. The lawnchair folded in half, he fell to the ground on top of me after hitting his head on some of the landscape ... leaving a scar on his forehead. After embracing the pain, we had a great laugh (while still lying on the ground)!
Lesson learned: I will never have sex in a lawnchair again!
Xoxo, Giamarie (the official Giamarie)
*Again, this is NOT an advertisement; rather this is a lady having a good time sharing some of her naughty secrets! Life is too short. Live it up!!!
And since YOU know me, you know I want you (in particular) to: Spank me. Tease me. Lick me. Please me. Feel me. Mmmmm...do whatever YOU want to me...as long as I can do it to you. Mmmmm...
YUM!
(Naughty girl out and over...on a discussion post...roger that!!!)
I dated a man in college for quite some time before he broached the subject of sex. We finally decided that we would take that plunge after a nice dinner one night. Through out the dinner date he kept asking me if I liked oral, if I enjoyed it when a man went down on me, if I could get off that way. I was very inexperienced and I had to tell him honestly that I didn't know but I did enjoy the more traditional way that men and women have sex. We get to his place and he keeps pouring more and more wine. I tell him that he doesn't have to get me drunk, I've already agreed to go all the way with him. Finally we're making out, hot and heavy. He gets me undressed and I'm doing the same for him. I work off his pants, kissing up his leg, work off his boxers... and then I see it.. Like... a thumb.. or maybe half a thumb bobbing up and down on top of his balls. It was the smallest dick I had then or have even now up to this point ever seen. And honestly, I was twenty-one years old. I was quite drunk and completely uninhibited. I was totally inexperienced and had no idea how to have pleasure with a man who wasn't well endowed. So please forgive me. But I blurted out, "That is the smallest dick I've ever seen!!!" I grabbed it and measured it against my thumb. "I've never ever seen one that small before!!" Poor guy. He tried to joke about it, tried to laugh it off, and wanted to eat me out. But I was so shocked. I got dressed and told him I would just walk back to my dorm room from his house. Now this is years later and I'm only just understanding how mortifying that must have been for him. I guess I know now why he never called me again after that.
Wow... I like this... I recently went out on a date with a client... We went to a restaurant. Of course, we had dinner, drank, and drank, and drank... And I just happen to say, Im feeling horny. His eyes opened and he asked if I want to go back to the hotel... I said, Hell NO... Meet me in the restroom in 2 minutes. I went, and he followed 2 minutes later. Well, while Im getting banged, what a damn coincidence, the restroom is about to get cleaned. We got caught by the maintenance guy... He just walked right back out. I slid my panties to the side and he out his pants back up and I walked out first. My friend walked out after me handing him (maintenance guy)a tip.. That was some funny S**t..... "Sorry, I was JUST HORNY"....
A few years ago I was fortunate enough to have a girlfriend willing to give me oral while driving late at night when the roads were empty, which seemed like a good idea at the time...
However your (or at least my) leg muscles do not necessarily have the same level of subtle control to do things like work a gas pedal while being pleasured.
So I drove down the highway for about 15-20 miles with my speed varying between 15 and 90 MPH as my leg muscles tensed up uncontrollably more and more the closer I got to completion. When I finally let go I slammed the pedal to the floor and was doing over 100 by the time I was able to remove my foot from the gas pedal... she was uhhh... focused on other things and had no idea what was going on until she leaned up and said "holy s*#t slow down"
A total rush but way too dangerous to try again...
Well, once while out and about with a lover of mine, satin sheets and his essential hairless preference led to us both sliding off the bed as I was riding him cowgirl style. Got slippy slide much?
I think there were a couple of bondage oriented ones, but it's late at night as I write this
My boyfriend at the time is going down on me. I'm sitting on the edge of the bed, he's kneeling on the floor. I'm really into it and squirming around all over the place. Behind him stands an enormous full-length mirror, not bolted to the wall of course, which offers a great view for me! Well, as I'm squirming around, I accidentally kick the side of the mirror, and before I can do or say anything, it comes CRASHING down on his back, shattering into a billion little shards.
He isn't hurt, save for a few tiny splinters of glass in his skin (but he's a tough guy!) - anyway, what do we do? We leave the mess there, move to another room, and keep going, of course.
I think mine had to be when a GF was on top CG and was riding me wildly. I felt a sharp pain in my nose and reached up and found that I was bleeding like a stuck pig.
Turned out she had on a necklace with a pendant that was kinda hook shaped and she hooked it into my nose when she was leaning over and when she went upright it literally ripped a large tear in my nostril.
I still have a scar to this day to prove it!
In another situation...... I am pretty, um, well-endowed and it sometimes has posed a problem with someone who is smaller/tight. I was in such a situation and we were both horny as hell but it was so tight it would not go in. In the frenzy that I was in I ran down to the kitchen, grabbed a can of PAM and sprayed us both. Did the trick!
Pics days drdimsum...? I'd like to get in on some of the action. Im very board friendly, and love to get in on any action going on... Just me. Guess I'll have to be checking on what Minnesota's offering in the future...
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