Last summer I had a client that wanted to experience doing it outdoors.. so here I am new and just trying to fulfull fantasy and I say "Oh yes I can do that!" Now I am thinking where in the city can you go to DO IT outdoors? And he tells me "Oh I know exactly where to go.. very private and no one is ever around.." I am thinking okay he is a business man, I have seen him twice, seems normal, not a freak. I am in no danger of being bludgend to death in  the woods and left for dead. So just let him lead and he gives me directions to some park, and I am not familiar with the area but it leads down to the banks of the Mississippi and it is fairly wooded.. I bring the necessary blankets and make it look like we are going on a picnic.

So we meet up at the wayside and start out.. "oh and just a side note.. he tells me that he didn't have time to stop at the bank but he would after we were done"  So we start down the trails now even though it is wooded there are trails and fallen tree's over the pathes kind of muddy in places it seems okay so we keep going and low and behold.. "HIKERS" and since we are by the Mississippi... "BOATERS" .. now matter what amount of leaves and brush is around, when you are at your most vulnerable... and really don't want to be seen are you actually invisable.. but hey... "I AM STILL GAME"... so we swat the bugs.. god bugs are everywhere.. lay the blanket down and hope for the cover of the brush to shield us since we walked off the beaten path..

So we start going at it when the coast seems clear.. kind of hard to get in the mood since we are swatting bugs.. looking over our shoulder's and feeling the cold wind up our ass.. every crack of brush makes us stop... but we get comfortable.  Soon we are right at the brink of ectasy and he looks up.. and tells me "Someones here!!!!!" more like yells it at me... grabs his shorts.. and starts hopping around getting dressed... now I roll with the blanket because I can't find my clothes fast enough as this man starts approaching... "OH GOD.. he is walking towards us and I am still not even close to getting my clothes on so I just keep the blanket wrapped.. and OMG he is actually going to TALK to us.. what a pervert.. not only was he watching in the woods but GOD now he wants to SHARE his own experences.. . he starts talking and laughing about "I see (with a *wink*) that you are enjoying the NATURE"  and then says "Yeah every so often we get couples out here".. Now I really want to kill my client.. and as this yokel jerk is talking and learing at me ... here comes a park ranger leading a bunch of kids, I think oh god can it get any worse...  Okay so finally everyone leaves the scene and I can get dressed.. not talking.. steaming... oh I did forget the ducking as the boats went by.. but that was incidental...

So we hike back to the car ... and of course he is still hot and not getting what he was after and he say's okay lets head back to your place and we can finish... so I say "yeah.. okay.. look at my watch.. this was suppose to be a one hour deal.. it is now going past two hours and he still wants to go to my place.. sheesh... so in the mean time he is suppose to swing by the bank.. so I am at my place waiting.. he gets there ... we finish finally... and then he said.. oh the bank wouldn't cash my business check ... can I just write it to you... I say "oh okay.. and then he calls me in another hour and say's Oh I need that check back. my bookkeeper will ask me WHO that is .. I told him... sorry already gone. DISCLAIMER... since I am a professional girlfriend.. he paid for time and companionship.. also for travel.. ha ha... the bug swatting was never compensated.. just a reminder girls.. always get bug spray.. and check how much it cost's to launder those blankets.. .