Lets first start with one Merriam-Webster dictionary definition of paranoia:  
para•noia  noun \ˌper-ə-ˈnȯi-ə, ˌpa-rə-: a tendency on the part of an individual or group toward excessive or irrational suspiciousness and distrustfulness of others

It IS the intent of this thread to discuss what those “paranoid” behaviors are and why they are.  It is NOT the intention of this thread to spark debate over any specific individual’s perceived paranoia (provider or hobbyist).  The purpose for attempting this thread is because I’ve found that when opinions and views are shared with a wider audience, then oft time common sense reveals itself.  Imagine that?  Other times not much will change through discussion, but seeds are planted for re-evaluation of heretofore entrenched stances, and alternatives may be discovered.  I will concede from the beginning that with most of us, no amount of discussion will, nor should, dislodge us from what we need to do to safeguard safety, security, family, and peace of mind.  Having a discussion in a forum like this further serves the purpose of venting (a good thing sometimes).  I know that it sometimes helps when thoughts are viewed in written form versus just private thought.  In any case, we have the opportunity for some enlightening and even funny shyt.  So lets read what you have to express.  Please refrain from individual attacks and character assassinations even though they may be so richly deserved.  LOL.  It should be understood that erring on the side of caution because something isn’t quite right, is an individual decision and should not be publicly criticized.  People have a tendency to take such criticism personally.  (Imagine that?)  Listening to the ole gut may cause one to miss out on something good, but it also affords the opportunity of another day without incident and ease of mind.

Some fodders for the subject include:

Requiring references and dismissal of the necessity for; 2-call systems; unsubstantiated rumors and/or comments here on TER; work reference checks; incall versus outcall locations; etiquette and terms used when making arrangements via any recoverable media; discretion and judgment (both ways);  and more that you can fill in from your own personal experiences and thoughts.  One other often forgotten reality that is thought to be very important.  When shopping outside of TER, P411, etc., it is easy to forget that those outside of the aforementioned forums may not know all of the etiquette procedures discussed here.  Accordingly, should they be held to the same standard?  Nurtured along?  

My views/examples:

Not paranoia:  one arrives for an appointment and there are marked and unmarked police cars in the near vicinity of the joint with no good or obvious reason for being there.

Paranoia?:  Since the demise of prominent local organizations, the nation-wide organization based out of Philadelphia, and the infiltration of hobby sites by those “doing their jobs”…….Perhaps they don’t have enough tangible material to make a successful prosecution case right now, but they are keeping track, and a file of anything associated with an individual from the public domain for future use.

It would be interesting to quantify how many websites, memberships, email addresses, actual emails, and handles vanished after the brouhahas.  It reminds me of when the IRS started requiring SSNs for dependent children claimed on tax returns.  Geez…..the result was so many missing children, but a grossly disparate increase of missing children reports.  Now that’s a classic!  Maybe they were safe and well; hiding out in Terps’ tent until they became of the majority.

Another reasonable and prudent thought to consider is that there are several other valid reasons for changing screen names, and practices that are not related to paranoid behavior, but rather safety, harassment, stalking, threats, exposure etc., etc..

So lets read some input and thoughts thereupon.  This is also an opportunity to break up what may be an otherwise boring weekend with some intelligent banter.  Aliases accepted.


-- Modified on 1/8/2011 9:09:49 AM

Just Because your Paranoid, Doesn't Mean there not after you!

Cates, you have provided TER with an excellent post.

My first issue is the following:

Why is it that whenever someone posts something on the Minnesota board that they obviously took time and mental creativity to create, the sophmoronic members of TER crawl out of the woodwork and go on the attack.

Here's an idea that some here could ponder.  If you see a post that is too lengthy for your tastes, or a post that is beyond your ability to comprehend, or even a post that doesn't interest you in the slightest, ignore the post and move on.
Is that too much to ask?  Let other TER members, that may be interested in the subject, speak their minds and not be intimidated by snide remarks.

So flame away, or heed my advice and ignore this thread and move on to another and allow interested members to respond to the orignal post.
Have a great day!

Intelligent banter?  That would be great, but I'm very skeptical.

My apologies if I wasn't succinct or clear enough.

-- Modified on 1/8/2011 11:04:07 AM

Come on guys, lighten up!  The easiest line is that of the cynic.  If you don't want to read 2 paragraphs, move on!

Probably just a string of coincidences in the last 2 years
18 to 22 months since a local private community board owner was arrested.... Still not charged
Fire chief recently arrested and charges dropped related to associations with escorts and crime scene suspicions
Big miami/Michigan agency in court with international warrants involved
Arizona agency busted and owners convicted and many others indicted
Largest escort advertising sites raided while others threatened
Large Somali human trafficking ring busted
Former owner of this service sentenced to probation relate to arizona activity
Local partnerships and large funding between law enforcement and community group against 

Not sure if any of the folks with active imaginations and a talent for fiction and imaginary indulgence were rounded up ... Does look like a few of the pals of the wheel chair bound violent offender might be awaiting sentencing....  

Should any of this concern the average Joe?  Guess that depends on how much career publicity the over worked agencies want or need. No one wants a budget cut ( after all they might have to form w gang task force and shake down immigrants) and yet no one wants to waste court and tax payer resources.  Of course if you can add the words Human trafficking and find some money hiding some where you get bonus points for everyone the politicians, the guys in the fusion centers with their electronic toys, the IRS guys, the community agencies, news folks and so on.  If you can bag some major public figure who is already shady, the you get another kicker.  Shame and ruin the careers of some middle class surburban guys and struggling moms gets you some "I am smarter and more holy than them" moments and you might just get some attention at home and in the office.

So follow the money... if you wanted a raise this year, who would you go after and what rocks would you turn over...

Now think about the risk of one screw up where your name spits out on google there in perpetuity whether you were guilty or not. These days even the lowliest white collar Joe or soccer mom can get a wall of shame on the net for the rest of their lives even though they could walk away uncharged. Arrest might as well be conviction.

And remember they like to come on thursday mornings when your hair is unwashed and they keep you over the weekend.... Or show up at your place of work just or nab you on your birthday.  Remember they are just doing their job...  It isn't that they want you to look like crap in those photos or give reporters the scoop....  They are just trying to get the bad guys off the streets.... Guys in wheel chairs, soccer moms and school teachers looking for so extra cash and ticket out of a dead end career, divorced dads, and scout leaders.... Folks just like themselves but unclean folks....  
 
At the end of the day we all got a job to do. It is nothing personal, it is just the way the game is played.  

Should you be paranoid?  That depends on if you see a pattern forming that is different than in the past...

Where's that hand-clapping emoticon???????

Gracias Snitch.

And thanks to the men who supported the intent of the thread.....well you know...... I will send my appreciation thoughts via PM as you did me.

I don't think we can.  There are too many variables and we don't really have a way to assess how useful things are.  And sometimes behavior that one party sees as helping to increase their security the other side sees as reducing theirs, such as the endless debate over how much information is appropriate for screening.  Some girls want a fair amount of information and some guys won't give it.  So, who is being too paranoid?  Each side can point to situations where something bad has happened to a girl who didn't screen enough or a guy who gave out too much information.  So, we each do what we think or feel works best for us, learn from our experiences (hopefully not too painful), and hope for the best.  There's no getting away from risk in doing this.

Now I am a little worried that maybe I am paranoid.  I guess I must be.

I think a lot of paranoia has to do with "filling in the blanks" in situations so we can make rational decisions that affect our survival (or at least our best interests).  There are a lot of things "left blank" for hobbyists and providers--locations, real names, real lives, details of activities, etc.  So we have to make assumptions.  And it's in a person's best interest to assume worst case scenarios.  It's not until after a situation passes that that we know whether our assumptions were correct and rational or totally wrong and irrational.

So, maybe paranoia is juts a useful survival instinct bred into our DNA.  Kinda like the theory that the common dream theme of falling is actually a vestigial defense mechanism from days when our evolutionary ancestors slept in trees.  It's irrational to think that humans (most of use) are in danger of falling out  trees as we sleep but the defense is programmed into us and we can't do anything about it.