These are just some of my issues with life, there are many more but going into the New Year these are my nightmares, please feel free to add to the list: Let get a list going!!!


Ladies with two names: why I ask you do some of ladies have two names (e.g. Mary LaBelle); every time I see two names I know in my pea brain that for that additional name it is going to cost me an additional 50.00 to 100.00 dollars per session? What is up with that and why do some ladies just need one name and others must have to have a first and last name? How do these names get chosen, do you think they always “felt” in their mind and soul, I was a Melissa so that is provider’s name? Plus, there is just too many of the same name ladies, I think you need to go to the baby book names and find different names then any one else; yes I realize you always wanted to be a Jenny or Asia but if the name is taken, try again. Try to stick to one name; we are not playing 350.00 for Stella Blue when Stella would have cost us only 250.00??? Let’s try to come up with some new original names like: Helmethead; Potsticker, Wonder, Lambchopper, Kempie, Jazzie, Katcunch; that, I believe should cover the 5 food groups? If not using a baby book what about: sex goddess names, famous female killers, Colors are always a winner, Seasons of the year, Cars, Cities of the world or Countries, Drugs – I could just go on and on – so ladies let’s stretch it and come up with some cool unforgettable names, the more out there the better – it’s probably a good marketing ploy…
                                                                                                   
Handles – So once again what the heck is up with all these hobbyist handles and some alias provider handles, but let’s stick to some of the MSP board better handles and my take on this: Dannyboy (always makes me want to break out in an Irish song); Stillinhiding (this dude better be found in 2010); Thruster2 (I imagine this guy just going deep and deeper); SexAddict 316 (is there 315 other sex addicts out there or does the 316 stand for something important); BallzDeep (this is Anya’s friend because he grew a pair or has a sack); Davehardwood (this is a carpenter who lays flooring who’s name is Dave); Sinoftheflesh (this guy is into bondage, or is an atheist who worships the flesh); Woodoftiger (Tiger’s Wood wife checking on his reviews and postings); Jenny’sfriend, Jenny’sotherfriend, Jenny’sother-other-friend (Jenny has a lot of friends where is that Burzzzzz girl?); Yourfavoritestalker (this guy must be stopped, he has already made Jenny & Becky quit the business and possibly others) Buttman (the true Assman); Learning-to-fly (Northwest pilot with 20 years of experience, being a gold member I truly understand the learning part) TakingmyTime (has a hard time cuming in the sessions so he is in slowdown mode); Heater37 (smokes 37 cigarettes per day); StillRecovering (is into rough sex, takes a licking but keeps ticking); Steelhead (has a good looking helmethead on this penis per the ladies, so now he has a big little head); StillRecovering (got bitched slapped, taken to the woodshed, after 10 minutes of action requires 30 minutes to recover and that is just looking at the beautiful lady)


Grocery stores, Supermarkets, Food stores, deli’s, markets, food warehouse; depending which part of the country you are from: Ok, I have finally made the switch to Byerly’s from the free world markets as I call them; because I always got caught behind the person with 60 coupons in line; or the person in front of me who is trying to use food stamps and trying to substitute buying baby formula for a six pack of Bud light and is arguing with the cashier that this should be allowed? I have also been noticing that some of these older folks are always zipping around on those electric wheelchair type carts, you have to get out of their way or they will mow you down and I believe most of those silver hairs lost their licenses years ago and shouldn’t be allowed to drive in the store? Then you have the cart crashers, these are folks that will crash their cart into yours, then there are also the grazers who park right in the middle of the aisle to look at 15 different types of flour – excuse me, you are blocking the entire aisle, move to the right and get back into the game of life. Then, what is up with some of the things people wear to the store, half the time it looks like they just fell out of bed, put on their worst clothes with numerous holes in them and lick their hair to keep it in place? I had one guy in front of me who bend over to show me his crack in his ass along with a pink set of thongs on? So if you see someone in the store laughing for no reason – remember there are plenty of reasons! Why do they sell hotdog buns in 12 and in packages of hotdogs there are only 8?? Why do you need to be on the phone while I just trying to get in and out quickly?

Socks – is there some sort of sock God? Because every time I clean my clothes there appears to be one sock missing? There do socks go to die and why don’t they travel in pairs? Same thing for chicks they always travel in packs

TER Rating – time and time again I will see ratings of a 1 through 4 for a certain provider in the performance section, with multiple reviews but guys keep seeing them and then post another of 5/3 rating. Is this just like hot lesbians, where every guy thinks he can “turn” them (plus did you realize that every girl is two drinks away from a lesbian experience)? Do these guys who see these ladies really believe if she had 5 previous reviews and the performance ratings are between a 2 and 4 that their experience is going to be better – they have access to TER, because they then post a review? Like the gal who was called out on the board as being a racist (don’t personally know anything about this) but she had poor reviews but still gets guys to go see her and then they post another 3 rating – what gives with this. Is it the pictures, the price or the challenge of turning these ladies just too much to pass on? Or how about a lady with 7 reviews and in performance they are all between a 2 and a 4 performance rating and the next review is a 10 rating – do they really think now we are going to jump at this new and improved performance? Or even better they have 5 new names on CL in 5 months that will keep the folks a guessing!!

Do you realize the top person in reviews has 822 in an eight year period, which is a consistent performer over 105 reviewed/ladies per year; not counting those he has seen on more then one occasion. WTF this dude is F’ing his brains out, my hero, a real case of the sex addiction gone bad, Jerry Springer material, probably averages one lady every other day if he does some repeat visits. It is like traveling in a new job sounds glorious at first, until you really have to do for years – although there really is no comparison between the two? The lady in Minnesota with the most reviews looks to be around 28 pages of reviews not counting on repeat business. The top person who saw the most porn stars is 57 done by Fasteddie (the dude is fast,  one of those guys that makes it under the covers before the lights go off in the bedroom, he moves quick, he cums quick and gets in & out thus the Fast handle) These are just interesting facts in Sex World!

Why on average as we get older do we get shorter in height and wider in the waist, and what is up with all these kind on gadgets for “older’ people = the grasper, clapper, the wonder ear, medical alert, the stepper, pill boxes, and why does the older people get, the bigger the car they drive – does size matter?

Why do men get to take their shirts off at the beach and women can’t – who invented that rule? Really, if both where able to do this in the past hundred years - no one would care, it wouldn’t matter to anyone – would it? It is funny how our value system developed over the years.

Why is there so many different ladies in the Twin Cities, so many ads, so many fine ladies does anyone have a guess on the number of ladies on all these sites, just not enough time, not enough money, not enough days in the year, not enough stamina, too much variety?

I figured this out from this passage why men have better friends then women: Friendship between Women: A woman didn't come home one night..... The next morning she told her husband that she had slept over at a friend's house. The man called his wife's 10 best friends. None of them knew anything about it. Friendship between Men: A man didn't come home one night..... The next morning he told his wife that he had slept over at a friend's house. The woman called her husband's 10 best friends, eight of which confirmed that he had slept over, and two said that he was still there. This is so true!!
Why do my dog’s think that the stairways in my house were designed by NASCAR and why do they always have to smell their butt and then always want to kiss me?

Who is this Mr. or Mrs. TER, where is it at, where are their offices and are they housed in Langley, VA with all the other US secrets?

What is up with the three call system – if you have been approved what is up with all the secret stuff, I always feel like James Bond.

Why does it cost 20.00 for men to get a haircut and women 75.00? Same thing for blue jeans, men 30.00, women 130.00?

Why do women asks men to buy tampons – we don’t like going there? If you see this, there is a beaten down-whip man!!

What ever happen to the "Man Bro" (Bra) I can see how that unit may help some guys?

How do yo drive you car from the back seat as I see from time to time?

If it says some assembly required I know I'm in trouble, who puts these instructions together and why do they need to be in 10 different languages? I always get stuck on #1...

2010 is the year of the Turtle - the doctor will be in all year

"is into rough sex, takes a licking but keeps ticking"

Close, not rough, marathon with multiple, 2 or 3, providers for long, 4 to 12 hours, appointments.

"got bitched slapped, taken to the woodshed, after 10 minutes of action requires 30 minutes to recover and that is just looking at the beautiful lady"

Damn, have you have been watching form the closet?  It is really 20 minutes of action and 40 minutes to recover, but time really flies when you are peaking out of a dark closet door.  She is beautiful isn't she?

processing fee added to the vehicle license tab fee.  Fees upon fees %$^%#*()@!

Glad you had fun with it...thanks for taking it as attended just humor!!

So I don't have to check the closet on my next visit to my ATF?  Hell I was going to offer a tag team match, she is more than I can handle sometimes.

Happy New Year, keep up the posting.

-- Modified on 12/31/2009 2:31:14 PM

TakingmyTime (has a hard time cuming in the sessions so he is in slowdown mode)

I actually have to "take my time" because I am a typical man - 2 seconds and roll over for a nap!

Great Humor!

THATS SOME GOOD WRITING

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Might be a bit unrelated but what's always bugged me is why do black athletes, and in particularly the real dark skinned ones get tattoo's done in dark ink? You can't see them, and what you can see just look like veins.

it's called a blow job.

When given correctly you suck, not blow......

Just my addition to the mysteries list. It's not just for 2009 though, sorry.

Hugs,
D.

It's called blow job because we are "supposed to" Blow it in your mouth!

I remember when I was in middle school, I totally thought a "blow job" was a special kind of french kiss.... imagine my surprise the first time I offered to "blow" someone. lol!

I watch a lot of NFL football.

My issue is the inconsistency in which the league's rules handle the out of bounds plays and touchback plays versus the "breaking the plane" of the goal line on a touchdown.

It is considered a touchdown when the runner breaks the plane of the goal line with the football by holding it out in front of him.  This is inconsistent with every other "boundary" play in the game, including stepping out of bounds on the sideline on a pass play, and the act of jumping into the end zone by a punt defender who is flailing at a punted ball trying to swap it back into the field of play to be downed.  

I know this is just the rules of the NFL game, but it has always sort of annoyed me.