Does it do any good here to out a provider for NCNS? Looking back at history on this local board, it seems like guys are sometimes afraid to name names. Are they afraid of being blacklisted? Or harassed by white knights? Do any of you lose interest in a provider after reading that she has NCNS'd somebody? Would it be better if TER allowed NCNS reviews the same way that they allow ripoff reviews?

I figure they'll do it to too many guys, and their client base will dry up.

she doesn't respond to you in a reasonable time with a reasonable excuse for NCNS.  Why not?  I disagree with Van's reply.  If you don't out her, many other guys could suffer your NCNS fate before she dries up.  Why not spare them the grief.  The WKs might complain.  Too bad.  But in a recent and ongoing post, on of the WKs wrote that he was hesitant to write a negative review fearing reprisal from the women.  He needs to grow a pair.  And if I were a well-reviewed  provider, I would appreciate someone writing an honest, objective, negative review about another provider.  Why would I want a client or potential client going to a sub-par provider when I am here ready to have a good time?  I fail to see his logic....  but, hey......  we're all different.  That's what collectively makes us great.

It could be a long time before her business dries up. Most of her recent reviews mention her being late or even really late, but nearly every single review is very positive otherwise. I always enjoyed spending time with her, but the wait time kept getting worse and worse.

If you were considering seeing someone, wouldn't you like to know if she NCNS's hobbyists?

I'd give her some time to see if she is willing to make it up to you but if not then why cover for her?

Also, this post and your original post are a little confusing.  Did she actually not show up and not contact you or was she very late?

I can see it if a deposit is required, but aside from that, how much does a ncns really hurt anyone? It's a minor disappointment, and you can always book with someone else.

Anybody reading her reviews from recent months should expect her to be at least a half hour late. I showed up at her incall a few minutes early and texted her. She texted back to acknowledge me. A half hour later, she said that she was heading downstairs to let me in. She never came down. I called and texted a couple of times, then one more time to let her know that I was leaving because I had been waiting for an hour. Nearly a half hour after I left, she texted a couple of times, claiming that she had been trying to reach me.  

She never gave an excuse, just acted like there was a phone problem. But that doesn't explain why she texted me that she was heading right down and then never did. And if there had been an emergency, she didn't mention it when she sent those final texts nearly 90 minutes after we were supposed to start. If she didn't want to see me, she could have called to cancel, but she didn't do that either. And now a few days have gone by without any further communication from her. She isn't going to make this up to me. She just lost a regular, but she doesn't care.

-- Modified on 7/13/2017 9:35:32 AM

In that case I think it is appropriate that you name her.

It lets other people know that she does this sort of thing.  You may regard it as a minor disappointment but a hobbyist spends a certain amount of time getting ready and looking forward to the session plus the time spend driving there and back, which can easily add up to an hour or more depending on how much of a drive it is.  Some guys live outside the Twin Cities area and drive into it from rural parts of the state.  Depending on how busy someone's schedule is, booking with someone else isn't that easy either.

Posting it here is the way to let people know about this because TER only allows reviews if the hobbyist and the provider actually met.

then post the provider's name.  Otherwise it's useless, in my opinion.

And I agree with Vorlon, it is helpful.

We hear alot of discussion of wanting to make the "community" /hobby better. Well  making this known when it does occur and legitimate , can do just that.   Especially  if there is history of provider doing it.
  My question is  this , in principle  is time wasting acceptable  . If not ,it must be applied equally to both sides in reporting .

I know for a fact , providers hate their time wasted.  So how do they feel about it happening to clients.  

Heres their opportunity to be part of the board again ducussions again .  .  Consider this an invitation .

Vorlon mentioned the important points. If you name her, you contribute something useful here for others to learn from. You'll put others on notice for how she conducts herself, and how she disrespects hobbyists. We're talking about rating her dependability. If she's sketchy about showing up, tell us.

I feel outing the provider is appropriate,I don't think providers have a problem naming you if you come up in discussion on ter or in their reference check.Basically ter is part of our reference check. Unfortunately ncns happens on both sides but I feel it's maybe small proportion of players that play that way and a very small percentage of ncns excuses are legitimate, with some caused by that chumbalone hobbyist that just don't have there shot together, like being chronically late for everything from work or any other appointments we all know people like that, you know everyday a problem now there problem becomes your problem. I remember one provider texting me while I'm waiting that one guy couldn't take the hint to leave finally she told him you have leave then he said not before I take a shower so she told me to just come on up when he got out of the shower I was there and he was pissed I told him to fuckoff that he'd wasted 40 Mn of my time. On the providers side well who really knows what it is but I'd bet it all boils down to money and yes you are being thrown under the escort bus and if your a hobbyist like me I'm always on time showered and ready to roll.Ways to avoid ncns first avoid providers that are known Ncns, second avoid high volume escorts ,  third if your like me do out call when possible . In my world I'm single and have my own place, don't worry about LE so much and if they Ncns I'm not out the drive and I can find another provider if I desire therefore I'm not out so much.

Isn't that a big reason people use this site?  To provide others with that info?  I think so.  

Good points regarding NCNS and bad behavior by clients.

I finally heard back from the provider. No apology, no explanation, just a complaint about this thread.

Her philosophy about NCNS is interesting. She thinks it is no big deal because clients do it to her. But the possibility of her being named for NCNS here is a really big deal to her, because she sort of understands the value of a good reputation. But she isn't going to make it up to me because I complained to her about it, which is exactly what she said the first time it happened. She doesn't think it matters that she has NCNS'd a regular twice.

She also made threats, mentioning both blacklists and angry regulars who want to meet me. Then she suggested that I should apologize and request a new appointment from her.

So, in answer to my original questions, reporting NCNS here isn't worth it. You guys say that you want that information, but then you attack anybody who badmouths your favorites or even gives them low reviews. That undermines the purpose of TER and leaves us with a site that is only partially useful.

But it is worth it you found out a lot about her the person plus you have the opinions of others who have dealt with the same problem. Being this happened to you twice she feels it's ok in her world to continue this behavior so therefore the behavior will continue. Being you never outed her by name you leave the rest of us hobbyist open to running into the same problem,cause no doubt if she's doing this to a regular she would have no qualms about doing it to us. Maybe she thinks your a regular therefore you'll be back no matter what you'll be back, you make an appointment she treats you extra special and life goes on. It does until next time then your a little more hurt and passed off again.Black listing you isn't going to  work you've done nothing wrong, and the black list only works to her small circle of people she knows or reads ter.Are you gonna still get laid the answer is yes. These gals are about the money not morality if posted problems on the board and had providers pm me about it and offered there services also the majority of gals don't know anything about it.Trust me on this too if you are a gentleman a good guy a solid regular her girlfriends would gladly love to have you as there New regular.So do yourself and the hobbyist on this board name her you have more to gain then to loose.

Ok  I know there's always 2 sides to every story, but I just couldn't read this entire thread & NOT comment ...
What in the world is this provider thinking,  
oh it's been done to her so no big deal....ahh NO that's not good business & for sure not a decent person.....if this stuff is true you're dealing with somebody that has zero ability for empathy!

Of course it can cost a guy: a no call no show costs gas money for only drive time, taking time off of your life,  work, figuring an excuse for friends family or S.O
Not to mention.....some guys have help now & then (blue pill) & that costs money too!!  

How dare anyone not take into consideration that we all have our bills to pay, ends to meet & this life offers nobody a free ride...
It's sad & shameful for her to ever threaten you w/a blacklist & like somebody else said, what the hell would she say you did wrong, usually the non-empathetic types are also not very creative!  
                                                                            (prob Y she doesn't bother w/excuses)  

I think this entire 'debate' would've been left better unsaid if this gal that you frequented truly treat you like this I've got to say it's not typical, I know enough MN providers to say this is just not the norm!  
                   It seems like  you're still believing the crap she's telling you......
What other guy in their right mind would be telling her "he wants to meet you"... for what?!?....to shake your hand for not making a scene as he's in there taking up your appoitment time?!? I'm sorry I know that's probably not  how it went but come on .......
you've GOT to get straight in your head about this gal, if she honestly said these specific things & treated you like this & it's not even the 1st time.......then it's PAST time to move on!

Whoever said there's other quality providers that would've been happy to see you was right,  
In the few yrs I've done this, any mistakes I've had I do my very best to remedy....
once when I had to cancel last minute on a very nice TER member  I gave the entire next session to him for free, he knows who he is & even tho the previous appoitment was one hour the free one lasted quit a bit longer.....still I had no problem 'cause I was happy to try & make things right!  
I've discounted & actaully handed cash back when I've felt that something was off or if I knew I was rushing....  
(thankfully each time was rare & unforeseen)  I can easily count the times I treated a client subpar on one hand &  
Trust when I say I do not feel good about it .....anyway it's not just me IMO you'd be surprised of how many MN providers there are  w/a big heart & that know how to treat a man.  
                               Anyway I'm sorry this happened to you, plz don't worry about her, just be careful........
If this is truly what went down & how stuff happened, she's only kidding herself...... a provider like this not only burns bridges, often times she goes down in a blaze of drama, sometimes taking other's with her

-- Modified on 7/18/2017 12:23:25 AM

My take:  I think you should try to reach the provider after they don't make it--try after the missed appointment the same day and then for a day or so after--to give them time to reply back.  

Life happens to us, it happens to them, it's important to remember that IMO.  If they completely stop contact with you despite your attempts to reach them for a few days then ya, it's helpful to hear that here. By then any excuse not to touch base with you gets harder to justify.  

I think the vast majority appreciate it--the few that don't are likely to be more vocal.  Since TER allows anonymous posts through use of an alias, those who disagree might even be coming from the provider or others close to them!  

As far as what to expect, best case is they come on TER here and apologize.  That helps them out IMO.  Worst case is the follow up contact like you had...might be all bluster but hopefully she encouraged you to not think about seeing her again, ever.  I love the part where she says some guys will rough you up then asks you to make a follow up appointment with her!  

I think it is possible to post a drama-free NCNS warning here.    Time, place, provider name.  Skip the part about why.   Invite the provider to explain.

Obviously we are pissed when we've wasted a couple hours -- and also likely missed a slot in our lives to step out.

But if the notice is posted here without bitterness, it does give the provider a chance to explain to the community on the off chance it really was something unavoidable.

And if she doesn't explain -- the warning is there for the rest of us.

Hey Mindy nice post on this subject and nice to hear a woman's perspective.What bothers me about this post is that in today's world with cell phones and we are so connected it happens so often.Business must be good if you treat clients that and have no remorse. Anyway it's nice to hear we have some solid ladies out there.

How dare you post a rational, reasoned suggestion on this board!!!  Just kidding.  The only thing I would add to your great advice is to not post anything publically until you have given the provider an opportunity to explain things privately.  I am not a fan of yelping all of my experiences, so to speak, on TER or otherwise.  I rarely post bad reviews for anything online, and choose to react to a bad experience the old fashioned way--going elsewhere with my business.  But we are all adults, and as adults we should give each other the benefit of the doubt and actually talk through our issues.  Talk privately with the provider first.  If a provider NCNS and does not care to at least explain what happened privately, then a very matter of fact NCNS post with no drama would be helpful.