I would really like to hear others" experiences small or large and in particular that first experience with it. Is it something you like occasionally, everyday or not at all? If you haven't ever tried it would you be interested in a lighter version of it?

I'm not completely new to it but still consider myself a beginner or learner. I prefer submission but more recently I have tried a little role reversal. I was a bit uncomfortable at first with being the dominant but that's to be expected when switching roles. The experience in particular included a strap on and I have to say it was absolutely in empowering and a huge turn on. I definitely think that I would enjoy trying this on another lady.  

I would consider myself more into the light BDSM and in regard to pain ... I like it .............. until it hurts lol. Teasing and light spanking with some bondage is about as far as I have gone but I guess I am interested in learning a bit more

I recently had a friend introduce me to the world of BDSM. I've always been a dominant type of woman, but only got into mildly submitting my partner, which was a lot of fun!
I haven't had any girl/girl experiences with strap-ons yet, but think it would be so hot!!

If anyone approaches me with a strap-on dildo then they better bring a hammer and knock me unconscious with it.....

Humiliation, being my little pet. I absolutely adore being a domina, i love being in all control having the power and my slave doing just as i say. In real life i love being sub as well. But with that there needs to be trust, and in this industry you can't 100% put your trust into anyone. I'm very say.. extremely freaky and having a little slave do as i say brings out the total freak in me. Humiliation is clearly a bit more extreme. I love being a domina, i wish there were more clients who like BDSM.

Personally I think a prostate-massage is a "gate-way service" to getting fucked in the ass by a strap-on, which is a slippery-slop to  eventually paying a Tranny to top you...  I think I'll have"Exit Only" tattooed on my taint as a precaution...

Gonna go with a 'no' on that as well.

.... being boss all the time can be exhausting so lol. I like sharing.
I'd say i'm into light to medium BDSM.

. . . "OW!! What the fuck are you doing?" So, I'm not a good submissive.  On the other hand, as a dominant I would be apologizing all the time, so I wouldn't be very good at that, either.

This is something I have tons of experience with (mostly on the dom side), but you would not know that to meet me.  You can still be a complete gentleman, a loving, tender person who cherishes women on every level...  and still have a dominant or sadistic streak that plays out ONLY when you are with someone with whom submission, or masochism, is a heartfelt desire.

The problem, and this is a huge problem, is that people take the shortcut.  BDSM is not at all as simple as tying someone up, or surprising her with nipple clamps or a flogger.  It is a dance, a conversation, that takes a long time to develop.  No matter which person (gender) is the D (dominant) party or the S (submissive) party, there is actually some magic playing out that gets down into our most primal, base feelings about masculinity, femininity, strength, vulnerability, and for most it ties deeply into emotions that go all the way back to early childhood.  I cannot tell you how many submissive women I have talked to over the years who say something similar to "I remember watching Bullwinkle and when Snidely would tie Nell to the railroad tracks, I could actually physically feel my desire to be her down in the pit of my stomach, it was visceral...  and I was 8 at the time."

If you race into it, it will end up feeling shallow, hollow, a role play, and nothing more, so nothing really honest and revealing gets discovered.  But when you do it right...  The D starts to develop a deep trust that they can express their inner caveman/cavewoman, they can reveal "taboo" desires and fantasies, without any fear of judgment or disapproval.  Even if what they desire may be well beyond the comfort zone of the S to actually try, there is still deliciousness in being accepted, and the other person saying "I don't know if I can do that for you, but it is moving for me that you shared it with me and trusted me with it.  Likewise, a trust develops in the heart of the S as well, this deep confidence that submitting to you doesn't diminish me, doesn't make you see me as less, or weak, or lower than you.  And if there are any elements of pain play involved at all, that same things apply...  The inflictor doesn't have to fear that "why would you want to do this to me, what is wrong with you?"  And the masochist doesn't have to fear the "why would you be willing to allow this, what is wrong with you?"

Most people are actually a little more towards the judgmental end of the spectrum.  Most people tend toward "If it is not something I want to hear, I'd rather you keep it to yourself."  If you are more of a cut-and-dried kind of person, then it's probably not for you, hence the term "50 shades of grey".  The almost mind-boggling intimacy of it cannot be found on the surface, by people who take things at face value.  You have to dig and your heart has to be filled with forgiveness and acceptance of whatever it is you uncover, in the other or in yourself.

But if you go into it with an open mind, longing for understanding, acceptance, wonder, curiosity...  A yearning to give acceptance to another...  It can be unbelievably intimate, and thus, for some people, almost gut-wrenchingly erotic, a different kind of eros than you can experience any other way.

But, what do I know, I may very well be all wrong.  :p

I have to say though, I don't really look for this in the hobby, as those here that I have met can attest.  It takes a level of communication and sharing that takes a long time to develop over many conversations, and that's hard to sustain in the confines of the hobby.

on this forum in awhile. I know there are different levels and different ways people experience BDSM .... some consider fetishes to be included. Like I said before in regard to BDSM "I like pain ............until it hurts".

But, the paradox, the dichotomy of it all is right there in your post...

"But with that there needs to be trust, and in this industry you can't 100% put your trust into anyone."
"I wish there were more clients who like BDSM."

I think what you are saying is, that "I can't trust anyone in the hobby enough to submit to them, but I wish there were more people in the hobby that would trust me enough to submit to me."

I see your point, but i  don't think you get what i was saying. Lets be honest, most men can over power a woman. Now sense i have taken up boxing most of my life and have 4 brothers id say i can definitely handle my own. But that doesn't ensure anything.

 I have had five clients sub to me, I'm not begging for more clients to want this, just simply stating it turns me the fuck on . Many things do so I'm not "hungry" to have this fantasy. I don't see anything wrong with what i said, hell you can't trust many in your civi life, trust is earned over many many years. If my pet wants to trust me, that's on him. His choice. Of course i love being spanked and a few other things, ask the few whom reviewed me, I'm not trying to say anyone has to trust me. I know I'm very trust worthy. My pets let me know rather or not they enjoy being tied up. Not once have i had a complaint.

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As I stated in my OP ... I am still learning. It does intrigue me and I do believe that there are different levels or at least stepping stones to getting to the point that you're talking of. I am very interested in that and as with anything it will take me time and you're right I don't expect to find that level here in this hobby. One thing you said that really stuck out to me and I like is this:

"But if you go into it with an open mind, longing for understanding, acceptance, wonder, curiosity...  A yearning to give acceptance to another...  It can be unbelievably intimate, and thus, for some people, almost gut-wrenchingly erotic, a different kind of eros than you can experience any other way."

I I really do appreciate you sharing.

I'm your huckeberry.

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-- Modified on 1/31/2014 12:07:35 PM

As far as BDSM is concerned, no two people are alike.

The power is in the hands of the submissive who turns themselves over to be cared for
by the Dominant.  What that "care" means is negotiated between the participants!

The time to find out your expectations are different from your partner is before you are tied up tight.  Or being hurt in a way you don't want to be hurt.  Or with someone who has no idea what they are doing!

I consider it a gift when someone, whether man or woman, gives themselves over to me.
Power exchange.  But the power is always with the sub. No play unless the sub shows up to play and you have their permission to do negotiated, naughty nasty things to them.  

Spanks,
Red (the Sassy one

Remember too, that we're talking about a huge spectrum here...  Don't think of BDSM as being synonymous with pain play because often the "SM" is only a small part, or no part at all.

Dominance and submission, control and vulnerability, take many forms and can play out in many ways...  

For instance, think of bondage.  Sometimes bondage is about controlling someone, objectifying them, and exploiting them...  And for some, being the bound person in that situation can be wickedly erotic.  But sometimes it is just about freeing them from reciprocation, you tie them up and stimulate them...  Freed of any expectation of reciprocating, they are free to make that inward turn where both of you are focusing all your attention on the sensations of the bound partner.  Same ropes, but two different meaning.  Everything about D/s, M/s, S&M, etc., is like that, they have a lot of combinations and permutations.

I only mention all this because the word "pain" has come up so many times in this thread.

What people are often looking for is very intense sensation play, they just want to experience new sensations, and experiment with some that are too intense to call "pleasure", as opposed to wanting out-right pain.

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