I'm curious for people to tell me their thoughts on something
Ok say you are a provider who's supposed to have a doubles session with another provider,
Many would advise meeting face to face first to make sure there's good chemistry right?
Now here's the question, say all providers have interactions out side of the men, maybe between cross referencing or even their own gatherings or other social scenarios. Would it really be so shameful for a provider to speak now & then about certain activities of other providers under an alias?
I mean does it really matter to the guy if one provider doesn't particularly like another, and if it does, why? If she doesn't try to bring others into and simply states her opinion now and then, why is that so frowned upon? Can a provider create an alias for sheer venting on topics that may at times be controversial? Could that be possible?
This way there's no need for her admires to feel like they have to take a side, I mean not saying she should always be an alias but I do think her personal opinions that would normally not be vent-able to any civvies friends or family should be allowable & dare I say forgivable (especially if early on in her postings) to be allowed sometimes as an alias. I mean most of the men decide what other TER members they like or dislike and many times those feelings are varied or can grow and change upon gaining further knowledge of that handle. For instance I know of a couple guys that met in person and realized they had a lot in common and now they often support each other's comments on this forum. All I'm saying is, yeah this is supposed to be a fun, happy place and a place to keep each other safe, but sometimes people vent and maybe sometimes a provider may want to vent or speak her peace too, without gossiping to her admirers in person because really that's not what guys want to hear about. Basically I'm saying I have no issue with anyone who uses an occasional alias and I would really love to gear others POV
Even if we end up having to agree to disagree.
I agree with most of what you say.
If I see 2 providers I want them to truly get along and not fake it. And the only way for that to happen is if they meet ahead of time and get to know each other.
I don't know if I want to know what other providers do or hear from providers talking about what they might do or not do. But that could just be me. But on the flipside too I might want to know it as part of my "do I want to meet her or not" criteria . but by no means do I want to see or hear of providers bashing one another on here either. Doing that is really grade school logic.
Use of an occasional alias by all is ok. There are some topics that for what ever reason you want to keep you name out of but want to comment. You should be able to do that. And if people on here know someone's alias don't out them in the tread. STFU and move on.
Troll number 1 on this post.
So what?
If you dont agree use your big brain and have a debate about it. That what I did. If you like it and have nothing to say then "like" the post it's that simple.
-- Modified on 8/13/2015 6:47:43 PM
What's your point guys I know what kind of fire your trying to light, box and it's clear to me who you are too,
but I'm baffled to think one would bother to make the captain obvious statements you two are making, kind of proving my whole point. I think everyone is entitled to their own personal opinions and alias's if they want to have them, you both seem to think it's not my right and you come on to insinuate or prove you know who I am.
now why would someone do that? If you have something personal to say to me please feel free to inbox me whenever you would like. If you think providers shouldn't speak thru alias's then just say so- remember the whole -agree to disagree thing.
anyway you leave me (while slightly confused) still smiling. Thank you and have a nice da
I posted a simple short agreement with BOX. I guess you have more to say. I don't as your response tells volumes if you ask me. I have no idea what the hell you are talking about...just like most of your posts under this persona and the others. Have a blessed evening.
You're really staying happy though right, that's why you call all of the usual TER people fools, you act as if most people don't want a more positive MN board and then you ask for "us" the wonderful campaign, to just leave it at that.
I read that to say 'shut up now' though I'm sure Mr. long time, long history reviewer you won't admit to what you are really saying here because doing so only makes you look like a person who is desperately trying to make things negative. You like to stay up on that high horse, right hater?
So I won't resort to the other many fun words that come to my mind while thinking of what you've said tonight I'll just end with I spoke my peace and will continue to do so in whatever manor I please. I know who I am and I'm not trying to hurt or bully anyone.
I very much appreciate your POV Wong it speaks volumes.
Wongs words:
"You and the lap dog Pug and the Mz have a wonderful PR campaign going on for the usual fools on this board. We don't all agree with your thoughts lately so why don't you and your company take your own advice and let posts be opinions and leave it at that? Wow...this coming from a handle with a long posting history and review history...shocking I didn't resort to an alias."
-- Modified on 8/13/2015 9:48:41 PM
You can post whatever you like. It's up to the admins whether it stays up or not.
I take a strong stance publicly about this because I'm making a more concentrated effort to be positive and uplifting
With any of my current and future board participation and since I don't know who sent me
"Re: Disclose yourself as mzscheivous. I thought you had learned"
The harassing stuff last time I posted under my alias I figured I would openly acknowledge to those who believe they know me, why I think it's ok that I speak under one. That's all, that's why.
I have read your post several times and it seems to me there are three key statements/questions:
"... all providers have interactions out side of the men, maybe between cross referencing or even their own gatherings or other social scenarios. "
"Would it really be so shameful for a provider to speak now & then about certain activities of other providers under an alias?"
"I mean does it really matter to the guy if one provider doesn't particularly like another, and if it does, why? If she doesn't try to bring others into and simply states her opinion now and then, why is that so frowned upon?"
Boiling it down, it seems to me you are asking if it is okay to make disparaging remarks about another provider or providers, based upon your personal dealings outside of this discussion board, while concealing your own identity behind an alias. And you are hoping for a yes.
My answer to that is: No, it's not okay. It's not okay to stab someone in the back. It's not okay to shoot from ambush. It's not okay to start a whispering campaign. And it's not okay to make disparaging remarks if you are not prepared to admit who it was who made them. Words without consequences are far too cheap. Lying without consequences is far too easy. And words spoken from behind an alias are without consequences.
Pointing to disagreements between the men on this board doesn't help you because we have no personal dealings. I've been around for six years and can count on one hand the guys I have spoken to for more than two minutes. When we have disagreements, they are based on the words written here. If someone disagrees with me and calls me names, then anyone who cares can look at my words and decide for him or herself if the name-calling was appropriate. So even if I think it's chickenshit for a guy to hide behind an alias while name-calling, I don't much care.
I am not bothered if strong opinions are spoken by an alias. I probably won't give them much weight since I know nothing about the speaker, but that doesn't make them wrong. But if you want to disparage someone, have the guts to use your own voice. That, at least, is my opinion.
Now, if I misunderstood and all you were asking as if providers should meet before having a doubles session, then never mind.
No, this is about a whole lot more than you know or could know this NOT about calling names or making threats, that is not and never has been my style, this is about speaking my mind even if it's not popular, if I think a gal is whining a little or making a case for advertising herself during someone else's downfall, may I not voice my opinion from an alias so that others don't feel a need to side with me or worse to stir the pot?
I am human and what I first said was "venting" that is a broad word but it's valid, one can get annoyed when they see others act mean or when they think maybe they have some threatening texts messages and emails because of gossip behind the scenes and especially if I'm told to my face about this gossip, I shouldn't be allowed to openly vent my annoyances in real time and than let it go because I feel I got it off my chest?!?
That is what I'm talking about.
I do not attack, I'm a nurturing caregiver, quick to forgive and easy to laughter and kindness and anyone who knows me would agree.
I believe it is directly related to my ability to be direct with people in my everyday real life in ways that it just can't be done on this board, other than, at times under an alias
And no I wasn't looking for permission, I was just giving some perspective and I chose to put it in question form and if you still think it's wrong than that's an opinion I respectfully disagree with.
But thank you for your input, like most posts it really made me look at all sides.
One added point, speaking from an alias IMO just allows me the same privilege of the men, I was under the idea that I could put out opinions to see who else may agree or disagree and maybe to make whoever I would talk about
(if it was about that) maybe they would think about what they were saying or doing or how they were being perceived.
I now have reconsidered ever commenting about a provider under an alias because it'll likely do no good.
Though most of them seem to talk about others BCD with their clients. That is something I will just not do and also why I felt an alias was beneficial, another point I tried to make originally is basically this isn't high school and a guy shouldn't feel he needs to take sides, and I wouldn't ever want someone to feel like that.
And my opinion is that posting history is important in deciding how credible a handle is. Little to no history could just as easily be someone with an axe to grind as someone speaking the truth. Of course, the same is true of a handle that has a substantial history but at least there is a history to help us decide whether the poster is credible or not.
Just what those are was covered on a thread here not long ago.
If a provider were to use an alias for any of those reasons (those that apply to providers, anyway), I have no problem with that. I know, for example, that some providers use an alias on the GD board, because they like to speak their minds about this "hobby" without fear their strong opinions will turn off prospective clients. But they don't use their aliases to attack people--just to give "straight talk" about topics on the board. I think these posters add a lot of color to that board.
I also know some providers who frequent this board, who to my knowledge never use an alias. Yet they aren't shy about speaking their minds about the topic at hand. Shouldn't they be worried about turning off prospective clients with their strong opinions? I don't think so... because they stick to the subject, they don't attack individuals (unless they really, REALLY deserve it for their behavior), and through their posts they demonstrate that they're confident, intelligent, savvy, considerate people. They know the difference between being assertive and being aggressive. They "vent" sometimes, but without attacking individuals and typically with a bit of humor. Although I may not always agree with their opinions, I admire them for how they conduct themselves here.
OTOH, if I see anyone--provider or hobbyist--abusing an alias, especially to use it to attack others without very good reason (e.g. self defense, or to call out despicable behavior), I have no respect for that person and his or her opinions.
So, post with an alias if that's what you think you need to do. But when you do, please keep in mind how an alias is supposed to be used on TER.
Knot I'm not really sure what your saying here except I agree with the entire first 3/4 of your post and that is where I feel I am.
But as I said this was never a real question it was a comparative analogy to open up the subject and allow others to see it from another point of view they may have not previously considered.
I had my reasons for opening the discussion, to show that I'm making a more concentrated effort to stay positive & help when I can the board stay friendlier. We should all be allowed to agree to disagree
I don't attack, I do speak directly and I've admitted directly to anyone who has ever asked me point blank who I am and what I believe. I made a snarky remark to a provider once who compared here self to Marylyn Monroe, I said "really, wow."
Only because I think to make such a comparison is very bold. But that's not for me to comment about cause it was hurtful and I like her a lot and didn't want to hurt her.
Anyway she asked if it was me & I without hesitation told her yes, after I thought about I realized it came off as mean & I felt very bad for that,I asked for her forgiveness got it and then I forgave myself,
everything else I've said under old alias was what I felt needed to be thought about and discussed because I felt some people were not considering something so obvious,
And after what I had been put thru from interactions with this topic I did create that old alias purely to vent about my opinion back then.....I did not call names, I did not attack!
as I said I didn't even open the discussion but I chimed in often and after learning a while later a lot more about this hobby and the people of TER I realized most of my comments were very unnecessary......
Anyway I guess I don't get what you concluded, do you have no respect for me (or my alias) because you see me acting rude or attacking, because if so it's ok to say so.
I do keep in mind what I say nowadays and while I don't feel I'm an aggressive person if you at this point do than I will just respectfully disagree.....and no biggie to me
I'm not mad or hurt, but I thank you too for your thought and input.
Aliases are a device, a tool, that when properly used can be helpful. They also can be misused--which I think is why many people in this community hate that they exist at all.
That's what I was trying to say in a nutshell.
int eloquently made as most often so.