To all who worship erotic love (and for my money, erotic love is the only love worth worshipping), it seemed like a good day to ask/hear about whether, or how often, Cupid/Eros is found to accompany one’s pay to play get-togethers.

I have been blessed, or so I would say, to have Cupid/Eros strike me quite a few times, and sometimes rather severely, in my hobby activities.  For those who love numbers, I would say that Cupid/Eros has struck me no less than 4 times in my hobby life, so far.    

Not sure how typical I am in this regard but some reflection on my experiences has led me to find it unsurprising (but no less wonderful for being so.)

It is axiomatic that the best ladies in this profession have to have been blessed with more than their fair share of the qualities that attract humans one to another.  When in the presence of one so blessed – call her a Super Attractor if you like -- it would be more surprising if Cupid/Eros didn’t show up than that He did.

Happy Erotic Love Day to all the Super Attractors and those who love them.

And a very special Happy Erotic Love Day to the Super Attractors that have caused Cupid/Eros to strike me in His blessed way.

I've been blessed, also, to have met in the past few months several wonderful women who are not only skilled in their craft and beautiful physically, but who are beautiful people.  I've enjoyed many wonderful hours with these ladies, and hopefully they have enjoyed my company also.

They are the kind of women to whom I could easily be attracted, i.e. smitten by Cupid's Arrow... in another dimension or in a parallel universe.  One in which I am not married.

I entered the hobby precisely because I needed intimacy with a woman that I cannot get at home.  There are other ways to get that kind of intimacy... a mistress for example (yes, I know, an old fashioned word for it).  That is not an option for me, for personal reasons that I will not share here.  And succumbing to Cupid's Arrow with a provider is not an option for me also... no matter how wonderful they are.  My relationships with providers must remain and will remain professional.  That's just the way it has to be, for me.

I think some of this ties into the comments a few threads down about what kind of guy is in the hobby...

If you are here for some variety or something a little more "porny" than the wife, you may be a little less immune to cupid's ministrations.

On the other hand, if you come to the hobby for much-needed affection, skin contact, and intimacy because it's not available for you other ways (and there can be lots of reasons for that), then I think one might be more prone to this.

Something more "porny" than the wife?  Really??  You have no clue.  No clue at all.  But I'll give you a hint: it has to do with love... maybe not the Erotic Love kind; there are others.  And commitment.  And coping with a difficult situation as best as one can.

It's much more complicated than the binary scenario you described.

Oh, I have PLENTY of clue, brother...  Do not  assume that I am not a guy coping with a difficult situation as best as one can.  I am EXACTLY that guy.

That is what I mean... for some of us, the "hobby" fulfills a legitimate "maslovian" need for sexual affection that for any of many, many reasons can't be met at home...  INCLUDING coping with a difficult situation as best as one can.  It fills a role in our life that we can't get any other way.  What I was saying is that the previous thread brought to light that there are married guys who actually have a pretty good thing going at home, but want more variety/more "naughtiness" than they can get at home.  I intend NO judgment about their motives, or anyone else's--I am not saying there are good or bad reasons for hobbying...   I am just saying that I suspect that the more important the role that the "hobby" plays in your life, the more vulnerable you are to cupid's ways.  I am definitely in that camp, and don't even like the word hobby--for me, this is so much more than that word implies.

-- Modified on 2/14/2013 6:26:22 PM

In a marriage/love relationship, there is not only physical intimacy but also emotional intimacy.  While I, as a provider,  enjoy touching, caressing, hugging and holding my gentleman friends, it is important to me that the hobbyist understands that there has to be boundaries in place.   I am not in the hobby to find a love relationship.    Friendships, if I am lucky, are developed.    But, even then, there has to be emotional boundaries and limits.

Actually, I kind of expounded on my observations and didn't answer the question directly...

When I was active before, there were three different times when I saw ATFs on a regular basis...  I liked how genuine friendships developed over time, but I can't say I ever really felt what you were describing.  In one of those cases we stayed in casual contact for about a year after I drifted away from the hobby, but it was never anything more than friendship.  That isn't to say I haven't been profoundly attracted to some of them, rather, I never quite felt what I think you are describing.

That makes me curious...  How often do providers have to deal with hobbyists getting too attached?

I've personally liked many of the ladies I've met, within the limits of how well we actually have gotten to know one another, but love?  As Johnny Rotten of the Sex Pistols said, "Love is two minutes eighteen seconds of squishing sounds.  It shows your mind isn't clicking right."

No, I am making no assumptions at all about what you think.  All I can see is what you post here.  Your initial post raised doubt in my mind that you don't understand why a lot of guys choose not to be overcome by Cupid's Arrow with a provider.  Maybe for some, it's because there interested mostly in a quick "poke", as Woodrow Call would say.  The "porny" aspect.  No desire for a connection (e.g. where the smile/hug/kisses of greeting are valued more than the sex), maybe even a friendship should that be possible and develop over time.  But for others, not getting struck by Cupid's Arrow is simply not an option--even if the "hobby" (I don't like that word much either, but it's the generally accepted/understood term) plays an important role in one's life.  Cupid can take his shots, but they'll miss or deflect off because there's already been a decision made to not go down that path, no matter what.

As for the Don Drapers of the world, who have that great thing at home but can't resist going after more variety/naughtiness... yeah, they're out there too.  They get to be the subject of TV shows and movies... the other side of it isn't nearly as exciting to the viewing public.

to OZ's question about hobbyists getting too attached is "all the time."  I used to follow the Erotic HIghway board when the Love Goddess managed it, and damn if there wasn't a post there every week from some guy wanting to know what to do about falling in love with a provider...and you see it here, on the General Board, and everywhere.  

It's just human nature:  we're built to release hormones that attach us to someone we have physical intimacy with.  That intense hormonal connection, which is part of "falling in love," is designed to last about two years -- enough to ensure procreation -- and then another set of hormones kicks in to encourage a stable relationship in order to provide for the offspring.  

You have repeated physical intimacy with a provider, add a spoonful of genuine compatibility, and poof!  the hormones are going to go off ....

Actually researchers have identified a specific food that women eat that hormonally alters their sex drive downward.

It is called "Wedding Cake"

This is a great answer. I'm to the point now where I only see the half a dozen girls I trust and like. These are the ones I actually start to miss as time goes by. It's safer and the relationships grow with each visit.

I admit, in the heat of passion, it's possible, awash in sweat and pheromones and endorphins, to have the undisciplined thought, "I love this girl!" But I always manage to hold on to the context of our meeting. It's business. It's a great business, and I no longer think I'm doing anything wrong, but the context is always strictly business.

That doesn't mean I don't like or respect the women I see. I totally do. But the feeling I try to give them, the one I know they really want and respect, is understanding of the context, and like Belinda said, of knowing the boundaries and the limits. They have enough problems with heartsick men who forget the context. I choose not to be one of them.

So long as you can respect the boundaries of that go along with it, enjoy the experience for all that it can be.  You can look at the experience you have with these superior escorts as a type of love affair but you must always remember that it is one that going in you know how long it will last, at least until the next "date."