My dear TER friends and females...

After lots of thought and deliberation, I have decided to post this thread, to obliterate some of the methods of "kissing" (its not really kissing) that gentlemen use when visiting me, and probably with other ladies as well. Men are like fish when they have bad kissing skills, and I have broken it into three different species so you can identify if you might be part of the family!

The sucker fish

This kisser is very excited to be with you. He gets his mouth very wet and his only move involves keeping your lips inside of his mouth. "sucking face" would be an example of what this feels like. To turn up the heat, he will slightly stick his tongue into your mouth, a very wet surprise indeed, and breathe heavily on your face through his nose.

The parrot fish

The parrot fish is rather reserved in personality, but his kiss really opens him up. His lips are very rigid and dry, and he sort of "pecks" at your lips. The pecking will continue for what seems like a while, and you may feel a sense of happiness that he is at least not a sucker fish. The introduction of the tongue is rough, and if you have ever seen a parrot's tongue, this is what I would urge you to compare it to. The parrot has a dry tongue, compared to the sucker fish, and it usually only works in an in and out motion, unlike our next species that is rather feisty.

The barracuda

The barracuda has a rather aggressive manner, and is quick to take charge of the kiss. He may bite the lips and peck, a combination of mating tactics that are usually seen in mammals. He is grabby, and will want to hold you close, perhaps by your head, to get the best leverage of the cavern we call the mouth. His next move is to insert his tongue, sticking it out like a stick, and making circles in your mouth because he thinks you'll enjoy them. This stick-in-the-mouth barracuda is sloppy and very wet. Sometimes I wonder about the safety of saliva transfer with barracudas, but it is hard to address this....



If you find yourself with fish-like-symptoms please refer to the list below to cure your kiss, tongue tricks will be addressed at the bottom.

For sucker fishes
  Slow down, let the lady compliment your lips (not literally, I mean with her lips PHYSICALLY on yours)
  Do not suck face. Suck a little, but let the lady breathe. Don't get too much saliva involved, if she wipes her face after you kiss that is a sign you are TOO WET. Try trading lips instead of going for the whole set - ie - suck on the bottom lip, then insert a little tongue and then suck on top lip.

For the parrot fish
   Lick your lips sweetie, maybe ask for some water. Loosen up your lips and smile slightly while you kiss! Let her lead if you want her to show you... it should feel natural and smooth. Try trading lips instead of going for the whole set - ie - suck on the bottom lip, then insert a little tongue and then suck on top lip.

For the barracuda
    Oh boy Retreat the tongue! The tongue is the worst part of your whole kiss. Otherwise, you are decent. The aggression can be sexy and the holding can be sweet.. but the tongue kills it. Think of a pancake tongue instead of a stick out into your mouth tongue. Pancake tongue is sweet for us to encounter, and we will roll it softly in our mouths as you wonder 'what have i been missing?!' Try trading lips instead of going for the whole set - ie - suck on the bottom lip, then insert a little tongue and then suck on top lip.


TONGUE TRICKS: Think of a pancake tongue instead of a stick out into your mouth tongue. Pancake tongue is sweet for us to encounter, and we will roll it softly in our mouths as you wonder 'what have i been missing?!' Insert it slowly, letting us know its coming, and allowing us to adjust and be ready to give you what you want. Kiss outer lips for a bit, then insert half your pancake tongue, then suck hers into your mouth, then insert yours more, and continue to trade back and forth until satisfied with kissing.





If you have any questions ask your local provider to show you the techniques in person, or post questions below.

Without further ado
Xo

Great post, Ms Undertaker! Good for us aborigines to know! Thanks! And, this is not....

sarcasm.  Seriously, great posting!



-- Modified on 8/13/2012 12:26:11 PM

If I do not like something my lover is doing like the way he kisses, I find it is helpful to guide him to a place that works best for the both of us. And I enjoy a man who is open to communicating with me as well if needed. xoxo

Cute photo.

And I mean that!! I love kissing .... especially DFK, but I want the gal to enjoy it as well otherwise whats the point? I'm always willing to take instruction believe that practice makes perfect!

For the perfect kisser, but I do enjoy what ever my friend or significant other may be offering for the day. I once had a provider pull my hair far to hard and sideways while sucking face with me. I was not turned on but damn was it fun.  I enjoy the experience, I am not to worried about perfection.

let the provider take the lead. After a few seconds, I kind of know where she is as a kisser and just match up with that, also doing the things I like to do.

Communication works wonders, like the OP said. You mostly just have to ask for what you want and a good provider will adjust.

I've heard many times that I'm a very good kisser. I would be interested to hear from any ladies that might have pointers though. (Other than do not smoke just before meeting. I don't know what I was thinking of, but that will never happen again... LOL) Not sure what Pancake is, but willing to let someone help show me

I am glad everyone has taken this posting in a positive light. I am not trying to demand everyone be perfect kissers, simply offering some tips that I would want my gentlefriends to take, and thought some other ladies may appreciate (and gents do too apparently!).

Pancake tongue.

A) stick your tongue out like you're sticking it out at your sister. This is the stick-in-the-mouth tongue that I refer to in the fish kisser characteristics.

B) stick out your tongue like you're saying "ahhh" at the drs office. This (should be) is pancake tongue. See photo for demonstration. What I enjoy about this tongue is that it is gentle and not forcing itself in my mouth. It is a soft muscle, and can be used in a very sensual way instead of a rough and "i think i know what i'm doing" way.... I am very hesitant to point out these tips to friends in my presence because I have either seen them too long with the way they kiss to tell them I don't like it - they'd ask why I didn't say something sooner! How would you like a lady to tell you these tips?

Below is a pic of pancake tongue, but don't put all that tongue in at once! Don't have to put all that tongue in at all, honestly lol.

That's just wrong on sooooooo many levels :P

... if he was touching the TIP of his nose with his tongue, the ladies would be flocking to him. A half inch off in his aim makes all the difference.

-- Modified on 8/14/2012 9:58:10 PM