I think like any compulsive behavior, there is a line where it starts to negatively affect your life. I don't think it is an inherently bad thing to have an ultra high sex drive. Lots of people have addictions and vices but are able to live very high functioning lives.
(As far as that description of "symptoms" goes, I am a firm believer that sexual addiction is rarely the issue in cases of rape and sexual abuse... that is about power and manipulation, NOT libido)
I think it's really your call to make. If you feel that sex dominates your life in an unhealthy way and/or is harming your relationships with others, you may want to seek some kind of help, because (like with any addiction) there are probably underlying emotional issues at the root of it.
But honestly, the way you described yourself, it sounds like you are dealing with it in a constructive way. If you're happy with the way things are and your life isn't falling apart because of it, don't let some website convince you that you have a "problem" when you don't.
According to Medicinenet, sex addiction symptoms include, "Compulsive masturbation, multiple affairs, multiple sexual partners, consistent use of pornography, phone sex (cyber), unsafe sex, prostitution or use of prostitutes, exhibitionism, voyeurism, obsessive dating,sexul harrasment and molestation/rape." I masturbate once to three times a day. I have a steady boyfriend. I love porn. I've cybered in webcam chats. I love voyeurism/exhibition. OH, and I'm an escort. Sometimes I'll masturbate before and after I see a client.
Does anyone else feel attached to sex in an unhealthy way? Is sexual rehab a complete joke or legit? Am I taking this too seriously?
Thanks,
CM
I think like any compulsive behavior, there is a line where it starts to negatively affect your life. I don't think it is an inherently bad thing to have an ultra high sex drive. Lots of people have addictions and vices but are able to live very high functioning lives.
(As far as that description of "symptoms" goes, I am a firm believer that sexual addiction is rarely the issue in cases of rape and sexual abuse... that is about power and manipulation, NOT libido)
I think it's really your call to make. If you feel that sex dominates your life in an unhealthy way and/or is harming your relationships with others, you may want to seek some kind of help, because (like with any addiction) there are probably underlying emotional issues at the root of it.
But honestly, the way you described yourself, it sounds like you are dealing with it in a constructive way. If you're happy with the way things are and your life isn't falling apart because of it, don't let some website convince you that you have a "problem" when you don't.
As common as alcohol and substance addiction
ME. A sex addict in the clinical sense. Pretty much fucked up most of my early relationships.
Rehab? Well my experience is only based on one session of the so-called "rehab", but I took it as a joke.
Some tree hugging hippie bitch comes in and basically starts scolding us for compartmentalizing sex and love. Then we are told we're wrong for impersonal sex acts such as masturbation, pornography and "harboring fantasies". Hippie bitch insisted that our sexual addiction was really a "desperate need for love" that began with "Puritan repression during childhood."
That's when I called bullshit. I won't bore ya with the details of my childhood, but it was nothing even close to "Puritan repression". More like "hey kid, check out the tits on that one." - So yeah, using guilt as a weapon to cure addiction I would say is a joke.
My solution was to find someone who was equally if not more addicted to sex. It's worked pretty well so far, going on a decade now of unadulterated perversion and love.
You don't need any rehabilitation unless it's having a negative impact on your life.
Is there something in particular that you are doing that is making you concerned or did you just get concerned because you read this? I think for it to be an addiction, it would have to be something that is causing real problems for you with other parts of your life.
I want to meet this CM. Nice resume. Seriously.
Remy sounds like a very thoughtful intelligent person and I agree with what she said. I want to meet her too.
Can I update my "To See List"?
As far is the attachment to sex - I only think it is unhealthy when it negatively influences ones ability to function in relationships and work "significantly". Up to you to define significant.
I don't think it is possible to make a blanket statement about rehab. I'm thinking there is a full spectrum from bogus to legit.
okay so am here reading your post and am thinking OMG! i fit half the discriptions. does this mean I am a addict to fucking?
either ways this is why i do this because when I was involved with my SO he used to be like -enough chill out seek help- thats when i said sreaw you and started fucking crazy well i started this. i get what I want all I have to say is do this and do that and the only problem is when you leave I want more and more and more etc.
i do believe the whole rehad is silly because why does it need to be where something must of happened when younger. why cant it just be that as human we have different levels of sexuality.
i strongly believe we will meet individauls that we click with and find ourself tipping into areas that are gray but as long as both parties are cool then forget about it and go for it.
i must admit that been 23 yrs old i find myself hungry for different acts that sometimes i question but i also take to account that at times i will just have to act on them and get them over with. i only have one life to live and am going to enjoy it while i can. with this been said yes it has cause two of my past relationship to fail but then again am young and am sure ill find what am looking for one day until then am going to fuck and you better believe am going to enjoy every second of it.
i would say as long as your safe and you feel good at the end of the day then you have no problem. but if its otherwise were your sad or feeling depressed over it then you should deal with it and find yourself the help you need.
kisses, LC
You're wise beyond your years LC. Btw, what's wrong with fellas who have wives/girlfriends who want "too" much?!?! Usually it's the other way around!
As long as it isn't controlling your life, you are fine and you should enjoy! Nothing unatural about it.....despite American/Midwestern uptightness about it.
The scary thing LC is that your "drive" is going to get stronger as you age!!!!
I need to see you!
You and I should meet because I am addicted and I love it
If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck…
And the hard part about controlling the addiction is that at some point you have to fuck again. It is not like alcohol or tobacco that you can drop forever and not drink it or smoke it ever again. People sometimes do this to set up a safe heaven (as a child)to keep themselves safe and separate from a world perceived as dangerous and the most common cause is sexual abuse.
CM,
Besides what others are saying, the question also comes down to whether you can stop if you want to. Unlike food, which you need every day, sex is something that one "should" be able to refrain from if one wishes.
If you feel you cannot abstain from sex for a reasonable period of time, then the answer is probably 'yes'. That would be the compulsive component which is the key to addiction.
I agree,
in earlier years was addicted to internet porn, but have successfully moved on from that and had good relationships since then. I'm also not of the, (i believe) Freudian mindset that say basically everything is a product of childhood. and with regards to sex, it's become such a touchy thing with people that i say if you find someone to sexually unload with in a safe manner for both people.. let er rip. there's nothing worse than boring, repressed, and uninspired sex with someone..
my 2 cents
*note to self: add silverbreeze to your list!
Ditto, I hear ya, and right on!
Hugs,
D.
"there's nothing worse than boring, repressed, and uninspired sex with someone."
That describes most of the married people I know.
I guess the first determining factor is how you answer this honestly:
Are you powerless over your sexual behavior and has your life become unmanageable as a result of it?
Sexual addiction is not a complete joke. There are thousands of people who attend SAA (Sex Addicts Anonymous) meetings every day. It is an addiction like any other addiction - be it alcohol, gambling, drugs, food, etc. Typically more than other addictions, sexual addiction carries an enormous amount of shame - mostly due to the stigma that sex carries in our society.
Here is the self-assessment that is contained within the SAA site:
Do you keep secrets about your sexual behavior or romantic fantasies from those important to you? Do you lead a double life?
Yes_____ No_____
Have your desires driven you to have sex in places or with people you would not normally choose?
Yes_____ No_____
Do you need greater variety, increased frequency, or more extreme sexual activities to achieve the same level of excitement or relief?
Yes_____ No_____
Does your use of pornography occupy large amounts of time and/or jeopardize your significant relationships or employment?
Yes_____ No_____
Do your relationships become distorted with sexual preoccupation? Does each new relationship have the same destructive pattern which prompted you to leave the last one?
Yes_____ No_____
Do you frequently want to get away from a partner after having sex? Do you feel remorse, shame, or guilt after a sexual encounter?
Yes_____ No_____
Have your sexual practices caused you legal problems? Could your sexual practices cause you legal problems?
Yes_____ No_____
Does your pursuit of sex or sexual fantasy conflict with your moral standards or interfere with your personal spiritual journey?
Yes_____ No_____
Do your sexual activities involve coercion, violence, or the threat of disease?
Yes_____ No_____
Has your sexual behavior or pursuit of sexual relationships ever left you feeling hopeless, alienated from others, or suicidal?
Yes_____ No_____
Does your preoccupation with sexual fantasies cause problems in any area of your life - even when you do not act out your fantasies?
Yes_____ No_____
Do you compulsively avoid sexual activity due to fear of sex or intimacy? Does your sexual avoidance consume you mentally?
Yes_____ No_____
If you answered “Yes” to more than one of these questions, you may wish to look into this further.
This information is not to judge or moralize. I'm merely providing it as a resource. Feel free to PM me with any questions.
I wonder how many great lays you could find at a SAA meeting? Damn it, I'm talking about the nympho gals, not other dudes.........
Wow. This is an interesting topic for me and something I've been dealing with for a long time. I still to this day wonder if it's just a more intense sex drive or an addiction. Usually when I want sex it's the drive and after I get it, it's an addiction. LOL.
Don't know if anyone's gonna read this but might share my story and see what insight i get.
At 4 years old, a teenage uncle taught me how to masturbate. From the point I can remember doing the act. It felt good, but I had no idea what I was doing. When I became a teen, I can remember doing it 5-6 times a day. Using the visions of girls I went to school with or a good looking teacher.
In college I started calling phone sex lines. The attention from a woman was nice and it made the rush of getting off better. Unfortunately the dollars per min add up fast.
At 21 I walked in my first strip club and was hooked. Wow, good music, beautiful women who paid attention to you. This is the life. I frequented these places often and still do today. I kept searching for the perfect woman or a place that I could get off at.
Got married at 25. Same year I entered into the hobby. This was far better then the clubs. Spend same or less. Pick who you want before. Unfortunatly sometimes the pictures don't match, but the excitement was and still is awesome today. The part of this that makes me believe I'm an addict is that when I'm done I feel terrible. Feel bad for what I did. Does anyone else feel this way? Unfortunately the drive to do it again suppresses this feeling.
Well all this lead to my wife finding out and me being asked to go to a 3 day workshop in Eden Prairie. I went, it made be believe I am an addict. However I don't know if I'm ready to give it up. I've tried to break the cycle of doing it, attend SAA meetings regularly, but I can not find something to replace the rush of the hobby. I just love women too much, there beautiful and exciting.
I posting the link to the place in Eden Prairie I went to if anyone's interested.
