Posted By: smilin6969
...But things went soo well and I did my job like a good boy and it never got turned on.
I have never taken it personally when a lady has taken out a favorite toy.
For a lot of people, including me, the process of getting to orgasm requires the confluence of stimulation, pace, atmosphere, focus, muscle tension, hormones... There's a ton of shit that has to come together at the right time at the right place. Rather than seeing the magic wand as a symbol of my defeat as a partner, I tend to see it this way:
1. Our time together has gotten her riled up enough that she really wants to cum;
2. She really wants to share this intimate, vulnerable moment with me, rather than "slapping the clam" alone after I leave;
3. She has been so focused on pampering me that hasn't been able to make that inward focus that cumming often requires.
Posted By: smilin6969
I have tried in the past, but I feel like an oaf and apprehensive about hurting someone with the hard ones.
This could also be spun into a positive. If you are using a harder toy on her, then you have to be very attentive to her signals... Watching, listening, feeling if you are on a good spot or a bad spot... And I suspect that a gal looking down and seeing that you are totally engaged, totally tuned in, attentive to her signs, is probably going to ratchet things up a whole lot for her. I know for me, that feeling that she is mentally "locked on", when I can see and feel that she has the world tuned out and I just consume her awareness... There is nothing better, and the specific mechanics of what she is doing to me isn't really all that important. Probably would be the same for her.