So I got off work and decided I needed some me time. I scheduled an appointment with myself to rub one out at 4:30.

I fell asleep and missed my appointment and now I am so pissed!  What kind of excuse is that?  I mean really!  I expect my pizza delivery guy to be on time!  The auto glass guy better be there when I arrange it!  

Don't I realize how important my time is?  Who do I think I am?  I don't care if I have a real life and things can go wrong!  THAT'S NOT MY PROBLEM!  My ego is more important than anything that complicates my life and I BETTER show up, on time, and make it an incredible time because nothing that happens to me is important!  Honestly!  Who do I think I am?!?!?!

After all,  it's all about me, and not about me.

Now you'll excuse me while I go contemplate the review I am going to write about me.  I'd better contact myself and offer me some kind of incredible discount before I post it!

and doing the deed! You made me laugh and I didn't want to.

At the very least, give yourself time to make it up to you before you trash yourself on the most  
popular review board!!

The bad news is TER doesn't allow reviews of NCNS.

The good news is you won't get a bad review, which is a really poor way to start your provider career, particularly seeing as your market is quite limited.  Let this be a lesson to you.

TER also does Not allow Self Reviews from providers, so it appears that you are in a damned if you do, and damned if you don't.
Personally, I would move past this experience, and find a more reliable provider.

So it doesn't happen to others on the board.  Was it you?  Fistine? Rosy Palm?

Better luck next time.
I hope you're ambidextrous.

Before the white knights come out of the wood works and attack you for calling out the person, I just wanted to say you did the right thing naming names.  
Now the part as to whether you get tarred and feathered or redeemed
Was the situation resolved at a later time with premium lube and multiple orgasms?

But you couldn't pull it off?