Subject: THE PAINT CAN



A newlywed couple wanted to join the local Baptist
Church.  The pastor told them, "We have special
requirements for new parishioners.  To prove your
sincerity, you must abstain from sex for one month."

The couple agreed and, after two-and-a-half weeks,
returned to the Church.  The Pastor entered his office
to find the wife is crying, and the husband is
obviously very depressed.

"You are back so soon...Is there a problem?" the pastor
inquired.

"We are ashamed and saddened to admit that we did not
manage to abstain from sex for the required month," the
young man replied sadly.

The pastor asked him what happened.

The young man replied, "Well, the first week was
difficult.  However, we managed to abstain through
sheer willpower.  The second week was terrible, but
with the use of prayer, we managed to abstain.  The
third week was unbearable.  We tried cold showers,
prayer, reading from the Bible...anything to keep our
minds from carnal thoughts.  Then, one afternoon, my
wife reached for a can of paint and dropped it.  When
she bent over to pick it up, I was so overcome with
lust I had my way with her right then and there,"
admitted the man, shamefacedly.

"You understand this means you will not be welcome in
our church," stated the pastor.

"We know." said the young man, hanging his head, "We're
not welcome at Home Depot, either".

LOL That is very good, I spend so much time at Home Depot they almost know me by sight.

Two old guys are pushing their carts around Home Depot when they collide.

The first old guy says to the second guy, "Sorry about that.  I'm looking for my wife, and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going."

The second old guy says, "That's OK.  It's a coincidence.  I'm looking for my wife, too.  I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate"

The first old guy says, "Well, maybe we can help each other.  What does your wife look like?

The second old guy says, "Well, she is 27 yrs old, tall, long brown hair, blue eyes, long legs, big busted, and is wearing short shorts.  What does your wife look like?"

The first old guy says, "Doesn't matter --- let's look for yours."