I find humor in some off the situations that I am going to talk about, but it is just gross. I ran into a friend this week and I was reminded of a situation that happened long ago.  Basically, this lucky bastard could sweet talk most girls and he was a big slob. Anyway, he took her to the bed room and the rest of the guys were playing cards.  This poor girl is screaming like hell and runs bare naked past everyone into the bathroom. The shower starts and she is still screaming. We thought he hurt her and went into the bedroom. Laughing, he says, "I was wondering were my dip went." What a pig?
On a different situation I met a provider for the first time and I said, "Sorry, I'm not better looking." She laughed and said I was perfect.  Then, she proceeded to tell me about another client who always would have toilet paper stuck in his ass. Bad timing for this story, but it was an interesting one. That ranks as ridiculous too me that a guy would be like that.
A different provider told me about a guy who had many junks of tuna in his beard. She was polite and told the person.  He said that is impossible because he hasn't had tuna a few days ago. The provider thought the man went down on his girlfriend/wife before she investigated where that stench was coming from. Sounds like a real winner!
Guys are bad, but there is nothing worse for a man expecting a good time and have a lady not being fresh.  
Anyone can reply because laughter is good. Hope I have an interesting topic for discussion

My guess is that he lost it inside her o.O

"dip" is chewing tobacco

Dip is snuff, like Skoal.

If you had ever had a client like these dirty, disgusting slobs, you would not think it funny either.  
These are mild examples

Agreed BB. Thank the lord those clients are few & far between. IDK that discussing such incidents during a session though would be my preference. Sorta kills the mood. Lol!

thank GOD I have only had few since I have been in business  

Funny story and we have the same bunch of killjoys lecturing us.  Why is it funny?  Because it's bizarre and unusual, as in most of us would never do it.  

That wasn't you with the TP stuck up your ass was it Derp? Hehe!

Right on ! Typical joyless women!

In fact, I'd love to get a few laughs today! How bout we talk about your most embarrassing moments in the hobby. I'm sure we'd all be rolling! Haha......

Pearls before swine.

Thanks for the memories!  

epends on the mood of the company coming to the party.  I do wish we had a master comedian at board here locally.  Maybe we can recruit to the hobby one of the regulars who do really well at ACME Sticks downtown.  

So what.  I don't think it's funny.  Doesn't mean I am  a killjoy and certainly am not lecturing you.  Lecturing you would be telling you HOW to wash your ass.   And that is one lecture I do not want to put you or any of the other grown men and women of TER through.

just that I did not see the humor.   You may very find it lol funny.  ok. that's fine.  I simply stated my opinion.  We can't have differing opinions??

I just didn't see it when I first read it.  It reminded me of a very unpleasant humungous brown lump with chunks of peanuts  nasty nasty nasty nasty shit stain, okay

You saw him too?! Lord help us all!

tucked in your cheek, kind of gross but kind of not too.

as in Brach's chocolate peanut cluster.  OYE!!

Just remember toilet paper  and the Starship Enterprise serve the same purpose:
wandering around Uranus trying to wipe out cling-ons!

Never had an icky experience except one in the hobby , which I care not to repeat, but when I was a kid, I took a bus trip to St. Louis- the driver was a really nice black man who during stop overs played jazz saxophone for us, at a crowded stop-over in Joplin, he used the restroom, the place was packed and as a juvenile sitting on the bench waiting for the next leg of the trip , he came out of the restroom with a super long piece of toilet tissue stuck to his shoe, being young with friends, this was hard, I prayed for him and after a super long while it became detached- whooo!  Tip, regular Scotts toilet tissue is pretty much trustworthy for not leaving cling ons and it doesen't hurt to use a wipe afterwards either LOL. Hope this lightened this thread up haha.  It just made me remember it is all....