I am pretty happy with the my life and the things that I have.  As I am getting older I don't mind the shape of my body, wrinkles, and a few gray hairs.  Although, me not being in the dating game for years it is difficult for me to talk to other ladies and it is even worse around a beautiful woman. Never was like this in my younger years, but I think I sound like a real dip sometimes.  Does anyone else have this problem? Might be trying too hard. I am counting down the days that I get to spend with an amazing lady.  This will be my second visit with her and she did try and make me feel comfortable, but I didn't help because I have no game.  Want the second time with her to be better for her. Need some help! My goodness this lady is amazing

Everyone thinks they sound like a real "dip" sometimes... Right?  
Either way, make a couple jokes or find a way to laugh with her...I'm sure it's only you  
That notices these minor flaws that you think keeps you off your "game"
 Be easy on yourself, take pride in things like your generosity, your good nature, & your ability to laugh
And tell yourself repetativley you are comfortable in your own skin....that's a very important thing to be, you know what they say "fake it till you make it"-make it true.  Building your confidence is a very good reason to lie to yourself
 (if that's what you think you'd be doing) pretty soon you'll start projecting that confidence again!!

END OF MESSAGE

I am definite Portia isn't worried about it , moreover she has all the "game" the two of you need. This is one of the great benefits of hobbying.

I've always thought humor is the way to a ladies heart.  If that's not your strong suit keep it light and smile a lot, that shows her what she wants to see the most...that you're enjoying yourself.  They are in the ultimate customer service field and if you are happy they are happy.

Everyone has game, it just doesn't all look the same. Your life experience gives you game. Being comfortable with your body gives you a lot of game and smiling and being happy give you all you need. When you walk in don't think, oh no another beautiful woman. That beautiful woman only has eyes for you while you're there, no need to try to pick her up with some amazing game she's already your's. Relax and let yourself enjoy being with her and whatever you do together. When you walk out, tell yourself I'm the king of the world and I still got it!

Check everything at the door. Focus 100% on the moment. That is what makes this fun. You are there, alone, with this beautiful woman who is there for you. To sound cheesy, you ARE king of the world. That world. The world the two of you are in for that moment. Game doesn't matter. History doesn't matter. I think the best providers recognize that and live in the moment as well.  

Enjoy yourself my friend.

To me the "game" has always been and will be about a persons confidence.  I don't care how you look or what shape you are in if you have confidence, not cockiness, you have game.  

My theory, and I don't think it's gender specific, is if a person is truly "comfortable in their own skin" they can be very attractive to others.  Like you, when I was younger I was in shape, lived life to it's fullest, but I was incredibly cocky!  My "game" back then, I think, turned a lot of women off.  In fact when I first met my wife she absolutely hated me because I was so cocky, I know this because she let me know that more than once.  I guess I wore her down and she agreed to go out with me.  After some self discovery and reflection I was able to become totally emotionally available and vulnerable with her which took our relationship to an entirely different level, leading to marriage.  Although our relationship was short, 2 years with only 6 months of that being married, unfortunately lost her in a car accident, what I learned about myself and relationships was a game changer.  Don't get me wrong, I can and still do disappoint women on so many different levels, I'm a guy after all, but I try not to be "that guy...."

What I'm saying is that you just need to be you!  Let people in, be a little vulnerable.  No matter what you look like, no matter what shape you're in, if you are a good person and people can clearly see that your will have "game."  

Hope this helps my friend!  Please let us know how it goes with her......

Best of luck & be safe!!!!

Buc

I hear ya Mindy.....  I just pretty much posted the same thing.  Confidence is key!

Buck

As I get older I am more and more surprised by that goofy-looking old(ish) guy I see in the mirror or photos.  I always think "who the heck is that"?  But deep inside I KNOW that I am George Clooney and Johnny Depps older love-child, mirrors be damned, so all is good.  lol. It's all in the head...

-- Modified on 12/14/2013 7:38:59 AM

you don't need game in the hobby life, as you found out with Portia- she is truly amazing. A great choice for your first adventure as a hobbyist, BTW. She can be addicting. lol. Gals like her and other top MN gals will take the lead- all you have to do is follow.  
And remember, hobbying is about a fantasy affair for an hour or 2 or 3. As others have said be relaxed and respectful and you will be justly rewarded. As with all relationships in civie life or hobby life, you reap what you sew.  And don't try too hard-  
I know when I saw my first beautiful provider, I was intimidated- but not for long. Your reviews and getting whitelisted will allow you to party like a rock star!  Rock on!!

The thing is, a little confidence goes a long way...  all you need is a little- enough to smile and start the conversation.  Be honest.  You don't have to have 'game'...  That can be off-putting for trying to find a relationship, if that's what you want.  

We don't want actors.  We want honesty.
Also- she's feeling the same feelings about her wrinkles and grey hair and reservations about the dating scene.  If she's not pretty similar to you, she's probably not the one, anyway

ooxx,
Trin

...to talk with your mouths full. Didn't yo momma teach ya anything?    

                                              'Relax....it's just sex!'

I think you are just nervous.  Relax and let her take the lead.  Like most things in life, it gets easier after you've done this a few times.

I am new-ish to TER.. have been lurking on the discussion board for some time but have not seen a good place for me to jump into the mix. This post got my attention, it's near and dear to my experience!

I have to say, something really wonderful about sharing time together with men in this way is helping them open up, simply by making them feel safe in my presence. I am sure if you look for it, you will realize that she is in no way judging you or sizing you up, but is instead sharing herself in a way with you that is really beautiful, and just because you are you. All you have to do is be of present mind and willing to enjoy.

I agree with the others that urge you to just relax and let her take the lead. There is no need for "game" when you are spending time with a nice lady who is there to make you feel great In fact, she will probably really adore vulnerability and everyone knows vulnerability makes for the best intimate experience. One way you could achieve this is sharing your fears with her. She will probably swoon at the chance to make you feel safe with her.

Best of luck to you  
xo
Sonja

You are 100% on with your comments

Thanks I plan on enjoying myself with this lady

You are right.  I am sorry for what happened to you, but you are correct with your comments.  Thanks for sharing

I really like your reply.  This was great

I am not trying to have a relationship, but trying to have comfortable communication with each other is a must for me.  I don't want to be mean, but a relationship isn't in the cards for me.  She is a perfect lady and I want her to be happy. Having privacy is a must for the both of us. Although, this is starting to sound like a perfect relationship!

Just want to say thanks to everyone.  You made time for me and gave me quality advice.  Thanks again