Spinning off of the thread immediate below on "attachment," here's a question I've had for quite some time: Since the hobby has its own unique vocabulary ("hobbyist," "provider," "donation," etc.), I wonder, Could that include something as intimate as "I love you"?  

Let me explain...because I know that's "forbidden territory," and lots of threads in the past have dealt with it.

But, as many have noted in the thread below, there IS an attachment that develops, particularly with ATF's.  There have been times with a select few ladies with whom it felt like, to me, that the very next thing to say in a session would be "I love you."  And no, I'm not looking for a girlfriend or wife in the hobby, so I would not mean "ILY" in the real-world sense.  But, in the hobby sense, with the established parameters in place--i.e., money is exchanged, we both know the rules, we are not looking for an SO in each other--it still seems like that would be appropriate, as long as we know we were saying this within the parameters of the hobby world, not the real world.

Btw, I've never said "ILY" to a lady in the hobby, so I've not crossed that line.  But, I sure have felt like it in a couple of cases.  

Any thoughts?

o

I understand what your saying but for me that would be a line best not crossed or discussed.  Personally I love you is reserved for a SO.

Polite words (e.g., provider) in the hobby vocabulary are simply euphemisms for harsher words (e.g., prostitute).

Per your inquiry, I will use part of a message from almost one year ago:  "Professions of intimacy frequently create tension with respect to money. As long as money is involved, the emotions aren't real."

The strongest phrase I have had a provider remark to me at the conclusion of a session was "I adore you."

The "best" measurement of attraction, feeling and love between men and women (and hobbyist and provider) is the kiss. The second time I met one particular provider she just blew me away in the manner and feeling she put in to her welcoming kiss. She had previously told me that she felt relieved to have finally made a connection in the hobby. I have never been kissed like that by any other provider.

See:  The Shoop Shoop Song (It's In His Kiss)

If you want to know if he (or she) loves you so
It's in his kiss
That's where it is

This is just my opinion but there is no place in the hobby for those three words.
I've heard those three words by more than one hobbyists and it freaks me out  
every time.  I have heard and seen too many horror stories of stalkers and the like.
No thanks

I think there is room in this hobby for "I Love You". When humans have a physical and emotional connection it is natural to have some love. Now saying "I Love You" really means I love what you do for me. Being it letting me freely express my emotions because maybe I can't talk to anyone else about them, or you make my physical being tingle and explode in ways I've never had.  
I've had it before when I've been down on a provider and after a couple O's she has raised her head and said "I think I love you, can that happen?", I laughed and said "of course". Now does that mean she just fell in love with me? Or is it that she loved what I did and will be dripping in anticipation that I come back soon. Of course it's the later.  
The thing that I have always believed in, is that there is a difference between "I Love You" and "I'm in Love with You". I love you is fairly innocent and enduring. I'm in love with you is reserved for your SO. Call me crazy, I love this hobby, but I'm not in love with it. As long as the "Love" stays in the room, I think it can be a beautiful thing

Ok my thoughts: as someone who didn't have touch and affection growing up -not playing pity me-just the facts....the word love or even luv has been very hard for me to say.  
I used to attach it to civvy relationships that- looking back -were more illusion then real & one downright dysfunctional. I'm a ( no WAS, I was ) a gal who is not used to touch and hugs, & whenever I had a good friend I found myself shy away from physical contact...now thru-out the years of my adult life things gradually changed for me and I learned a lot about happiness, love, acceptance ect.  
I took the time to research positivity, karma, love and emotion & more. Knowing that most emotions are choices at some point, you allow yourself to feel & you give yourself completely-if it's in the moment, it's real, it doesn't matter under what context.
 Now as far as maternal -that's very different as that's completely unconditional & really is different from both S.O love and love of your moments... The facts for me are -when in a civvy relationship love can be so fragile and one has to work at not allowing doubt in,or desire or lack of desire influence it...love is a choice and often fleeting,

 I think those that chose love and stay in it as long and as often as possible with whoever they can & as often as they can....well those are the people that truly have life by the tail, they know how to enjoy and live in & love life.....

A certain lady says the phrase "come over here & let me love the shit outta you" she uses this word "love" often and she means it.... You can love more then one thing, one person & event. Being in love may somehow be different, but for me feeling the emotion of love is to truly be in the moment & I sure as hell am in love often. I don't think you can spoil an infant and I don't think someone can overuse the word love.....I do know there are unbalanced people in this world who can become infatuated & obsessive I don't know that loving them makes them that way-in my mind if they are prone to obsessive behavior it's going to come out with or without the word love....  
Anyone who feels they had a bad outcome because of the use of this word-I'm very sorry and don't mean to offend, I know stalking is very real and very difficult to go thru...
I guess all I mean to say is there is a lack of love in this world and I for one will never shy away from this beautiful word or emotion ever again.    
Now what about spreading some Happiness.    
~Mindy

-- Modified on 5/5/2014 7:49:13 AM

Regardless of how you intend it, the odds are good she's not going to take it that way.  Some things are best kept to yourself.

...kind of like the phrase 'Once in a lifetime'. It shouldn't be taken literally but I've bitten my tongue to prevent me from saying those words to a Provider. I agree with what others have said that what you really mean is 'I love how you make me feel' and 'I love spending time with you.' But we really don't mean that 'I love you so much and want to have your babies.' Uh uh...

-- Modified on 5/5/2014 10:01:36 AM

Just my opinion, but I believe "love" is greatly over-used in society.  As many philosophers and men and women throughout history have said, ...the greatest word is love.  Because of its use today, I believe the word love does not convey what it should.  Again, not to be an a-hole...just one guys opinion.

I exchange I love you's, luv ya's, wuv U's daily with ladies, gents, my kids & grandkids, my cats, & even mother nature when she's having a good day. Well... ok... I admit I've told her I love her while pleading & attempting to manipulate her for beautiful weather. (Doesn't work BTW)

Any hoo... as long as boundaries are clearly understood & respected a simple "I love you" I have no problem with. Frankly, I think our society as it is today could stand a few more "luv ya's" on a regular basis.

I love life !! I love people, places, food ( chocolate ), this hobby, providers, laughing, smiling and sharing myself and the diversity of my experience with others. I think we all need to love more and be more passionate about life. Love is an expression of that passion.

END OF MESSAGE

The debate about connections, feelings, chemistry will always go on as to how they may or may not relate to ILY in the world of hobby.  Perhaps the old Hawaiian word for love says it best: "CumonIwannaleiya".

It seems many gals in this profession have grown with various problems growing up lacking love or maybe worse hence they get into this profession because they have the ability to blot out any emotion involved with the act of sex they are doing it for money and may or may not enjoy it.Many patrons take the act as if the providers are in love with them because they get have a good time and fill a void of love in there life.My tag once told me she really liked me and really doesn't like the other men she sees that made me feel really special.She has many rules one of them was she doesn't kiss but you could kiss her neck etc. Then one day after a session she gave me a really heart felt kiss and that has always meant a great deal to me know we smooch from time to time but it is still not a passionate make out session yes I've told her I love her and she says it to me but in the real world it is always p4p and generally have a wonderful time . I feel she goes as far as she can with her emotions and I appreciate that I guess I have my doubts especially when I read her reviews then I don't really feel so special I think if she ever showed up at my door and gave me a good time with feeling then told me she loved me and there was no charge it would relieve my doubts but so far that hasn't happened. I lack of kissing is a way some use to avoid emotional attachment they will fuck you and what ever and in there mind it doesn't have any meaning it's just a sex act but they don't want kiss because then they are showing feelings and a emotional attachment.Bottom I guess I do love her and not just for the sex cause she is a very special person in my world but that leaves me open to feeling like a chump from time to time.I see why many guys have so many reviews they don't have to leave themselves open to that and enjoy a variety so to each his or her own.Great thread probably a question for the ages.

love it baby  lol my 3 words

I read all of the posted messages and given a little wiggle room I think I agree with all of them.  I love soft kisses and I love the mountains in Wyoming.  I have met more than 50 ladies and I am not afraid to say that I felt affection from and for many of them.  I do not want to have an intimate physical relationship with a women I do not have that kind of feelings for, it is the connection that makes it special.  I have written in this form that my goal is to fall in love completely for 1 hour and have the freedom to do that again in the future.  I have no need or interest in owning or controlling the lady that I am happy to adore.  

Our relationship is clearly defined by the first and last thing that happens.  The first thing I do is take a measure of financial support from my pocket and place it on a table.  The last thing I do is leave.  At some point another lucky man will call on her and that is none of my business.  I am better for having been with such a giving and special woman.  I want to take in everything she offers, ... and no more..., that is the agreement.  I think for most of us on both sides, that is what we want.  

If anyone is troubled by the need to make a donation or by the fact that your time with her ends when the door closes then don't participate.  If neither of those issues are a problem, then I recommend that you love the ladies as I do.  I just confirmed an appointment with a lovely lady who I will meet for the first time tomorrow.  I anticipate loving the experience and the lady but before we could meet I needed to be clear that the 60 minutes we will be together is all ours and then I go.  I needed a referral to get the appointment and my friend Trinity offered that.  There was question about why I want to see someone else when love is the only way I could describe my feelings for T.  we just need to keep it straight.  If I had the time and the funds I would love to fall in love with a hundred beautiful ladies... for an hour.

END OF MESSAGE

Mindy this is perfect.  Small word makes too many people afraid.  Experience life generously with a smile (and a boner).

Old guy….what color is the sky on your planet?

I love being with you.   and   I love you doing that.  
I think that falls in the boundaries.