WARNING: The following post will come off as self-indulgent drivel to many of you, so if you are not up for that type of nonsense, stop here, move along to the next post and don’t waste any more of your time. If, at the end of reading this, you still feel the need to leave a negative comment, just sign it SID (Self-Indulgent Drivel) so as not to waste any additional time. With that being said, here we go:
I enter the hobby 2 years ago, quite by accident, when a business book I was reading reference how the internet and sites like woof woof and TheEroticReview.com had changed the forever the way that the “oldest profession” would operate. I felt compelled to see what this was about, logged in to TER , started reading the message boards and was hooked. (No pun intended)
Here was this great social network of sexually assertive individuals, exchanging thoughts, ideas, and experiences in what appeared to be a very cool community. Six weeks later, I was booking my first appointment.
I know that I am obsessive to a fault, so before I dove in, I made a few rules: I would do this only for a year, I would only see women that were on my “list”, and that I wouldn’t see any of them twice. By day 366, I had broken all of those rules. This was not so much the fault of my obsessions, but more due to my total lack of understanding of both myself and what really was going on in this thing we call “the hobby”.
I am not an unattractive man, and, with the exception of a couple of years on decadence in college, I have had a regular sexual partner in my life since I was 16. I tell you this because (Haters, get ready to call bullshit), it never was really about the sex. It was a curiosity about my sexuality ( I.E. Was a professional really that different that the amateurs I had bedded? Was I a capable enough performer to hold my own?)
My first appointments were mostly about getting a couple of references so that I could start on my “list” and not knowing that the best way to start would be just to take the plunge into P411, but after getting the prerequisites out of the way, I was on my way. Then I got distracted.
What I didn’t expect to happen is that I would actually developed feelings of friendship, respect and dare I say it, even love for some of the women I was with. They are all such wonderful and unique people. Most of them are managing complex lives outside of the hobby as well as navigating the maze that this game throws at them. I hear their stories, I worry about them. I try to think of ways to help them. I also know that it’s quite likely that most of them couldn’t care less about the fact that I worried about them, but I know that a few of them did care, and no one will ever convince me otherwise.
As I approach my 2 year anniversary, I realize that it’s time to exit. I have learned what I set out to learn, and so much more. For that I owe my unending gratitude to the hobbyists on the board who served as mentors, guides and sometimes bad examples. I can honestly say that I never had a “bad” experience and that is largely due to you gentlemen.
Finally, to all the ladies I have seen (many of you will be receiving an email from me) and those that I didn’t see, but exchanged banter on the boards with. To a person, you are all amazing. I honestly do not understand how you can give so much of yourself to your family, your education, and your jobs and still have anything left for us guys who need someone soft to make them feel special, if only for an hour. You have no idea how big of an impact you have on the people who cross your path. You are all truly gifts to be cherished.
I plan on setting up a few final appointments to say proper goodbyes (and maybe a hello or two to some ladies who I have been unsuccessful in connecting with) over the next month, but my final day in the hobby will be my 2 year anniversary date, February 13th.
Be good to each other.
-- Modified on 1/10/2012 4:41:14 AM
